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Gunfight at the Deep Throat Energy Drink Corral

Sturgis, South Dakota- The last really good gunfight worth a crap [and it wasn’t even that good] was at the OK Corral between the Earps- Wyatt, Virgil and Morgan along with Doc Holliday against the Clantons and the McLaurys.

There’s been something like 50 different movie versions made about that event. And if you don’t know who won, check out Tombstone which is probably the best one of the lot.

Last week in Sturgis, South Dakota Robert Interlandi gunned it out with the Red Bull gang, but I don’t think any of the local papers covered it. And I don’t think there’s going to be a movie.

Interlandi is Arrow’s marketing manager, www.xxxdeepthroat.com – the equivalent of the new sheriff in town when it comes to energy drinks.

The Red Bull gang, well, they figured they owned the Dakota territory and told Interlandi as much. At least that’s what prompted the fight to begin with. The Red Bull gang, doing the strut, stopped by Arrow’s booth. There Interlandi was featuring the Deep Throat Energy drink, www.deepthroatenergy.com

“It was three of their minions,” recalls Interlandi. “They came into our booth at the peak of the day and started passing out free energy drinks.”

“I grabbed ‘em- what the fuck do you guys think you’re doing? It’s our booth. I didn’t pay thousands of dollars for you guys to fuck up my whole money flow. This isn’t fucking cool. Get the fuck out of there.”

“We’re Red Bull, we can do whatever the fuck we want,” they told Interlandi.

“Not at my fucking booth,” Interlandi advised them. “Get the fuck out of here. Fuck you guys and don’t ever come back.”

“They walked away,” says Interlandi. “Then they came back passing out samples on the street. I asked them what the fuck’s your problem. They’re back with that we’re Red Bull we can do whatever we want crap.”

The Red Bull gang then took a spot about 20 feet from Interlandi and kept on passing out samples, interfering with Interlandi’s crowd.

“I got pissed,” relates Interlandi. “I go to Sexy Suz, the adult emporium, and I buy myself a penis water gun.”

Interlandi filled the gun with water and began shooting at the Red Bull gang, yelling, “I paid to pimp on this block!”

“I’m spraying them in the legs, the face and the hair,” continues Interlandi. “Like everywhere. They’re saying they like it. So I spray one guy in the eyes. He slaps the gun.”

“’Get your sex toys outta here!’” he screams. “I go, dude, I’m leaving but when I come back and if you’re here, you don’t want to know what I’m going to do next. They go, whatever. I go okay. Then I fill the gun up with the Deep Throat Energy drink. I put two cans in there.”

Interlandi came back and began spraying the Red Bull gang, top to bottom.

“One guy goes what’s your problem and I squirted him right in the eyes. Then I squirted the other two in the eyes. Then they realized it wasn’t water. The other guy goes, ‘hey, dude, that’s messed up!’ I’m trying to sell and they’re passing out free cans. Fuck them. The girl who was with them got it all in her hair and had to take a shower after that.”

Interlandi also discovered that energy drinks tends to louse up a good pair of sandals, as well.

“That’s gross.”

Interlandi says the cops were watching this little drama unfold the whole time.

“They were pointing and laughing because they love Deep Throat,” he says. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=29500

“They don’t give a shit about Red Bull and they saw me with the penis water gun squirting them. I’m doing this shit right across from the police station.”

The cops then told Interlandi they had his back.

According to Interlandi, the Red Bull gang then ran across the street in front of the saloon, One Eyed Jack’s, and began passing out their samples over there. Interlandi ran after them and kept up the round of fire.
One of the minions told Interlandi they had an exclusive at One Eyed Jacks.

“Well I have an exclusive right to kick your ass on this fucking sidewalk, dude,” Interlandi told him.

“I also told him you want to pass out free samples? Go into One Eyed Jacks. Then you can explain to them why you’re passing them out when he’s trying to sell them for four dollars a pop. Then he walks in there with the free samples. And I told the owner of One Eyed Jack’s about all this shit. And so the owner got pissed- I mean livid pissed. He talked to the distributor for Red Bull in his area and said how many samples do you think you guys passed out in front of his bar.

“You’re screwing up my vendor sales, my sales- I want a check by the end of the day for 250 samples @ $4 a piece. If I don’t have that check you can take your tables, and all your Red Bull crap and get it the fuck out of my place. And I’m going to put in Deep Throat because those guys are fuckin’ cool.”

At the time I spoke to him, Interlandi didn’t know if the owner got the check or not.

Later that evening, one of the girls who worked Interlandi’s booth saw one of the Red Bull guys.

“He was with a bunch of guys looking for me. She came up to me telling me he had ten guys. I said maybe he should get some more. But they never came back.”

“Red Bull needed ten guys to beat up one Deep Throat guy,” Interlandi roars. “And they’re still a bunch of pussies.”

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