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Hey Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady on PrimeTimeUncensored

Porn Valley- The Lord giveth a Nasty Boy. The Lord taketh one away.

Big Daddy McNasty proved it Monday night when he showed up on James Bartholet’s PrimeTimeUncensored Show,, with a revamped Nasty Boyz music lineup to include a T-girl named Keisha Paris, and a dom named Mistress Ave.

Included in the eccentric group was “Jerry,” a comic whose dead-on Nutty Professor schtick has some apparent side affects. At least as far as Bartholet’s concerned.

“After an hour, you do get annoying,” Bartholet tells him, busting Jerry’s buck-toothed chops.

Before the show, Bartholet’s talking about how he had been a guest on the Dr. Susan Block Show Saturday night, literally dodging cum from people who jacked off like squirrel monkeys. Bartholet’s calling that a Fellini circus. If that’s the case, Bartholet, whose other guest was director Jennifer James, was the peanut vendor on his own program.

With Bartholet’s resident bartender, Mike, liberally serving up Cuba Libre’s, even Big Daddy’s inclined afterwards to call the experience somewhat ridiculous.

The obvious question, though, had to be asked of Big Daddy. What happened to Nick, the huge guy of the Nasty Boyz duo, with a fetish for feet.

“Once a kid becomes a certain age, they do the opposite of what you tell ’em,” Big Daddy growls, looking for a point to be served. “Kids don’t listen to a fuckin’ thing.”

He’s portraying fatherly dismay as if Nick really were his kid. But, according to Big Daddy, who dresses like a charter member of the Blues Brothers with the requisite fedora, sunglasses and shady references to “connections” back in Chicago, Nick fell in love with a porn star.

“What happens when they break up?” asks Bartholet.

“They’re getting married,” says Big Daddy.

“What happens when they break up?” Bartholet repeats. With generous dollops of it on display all night, Big Daddy, goes on to explain how the Nasty Boyz band plays to the lowest common denominator. With obvious emphasis on the cornball.

“Is this how NBC started?” Jennifer James wonders at one point.

“This is why you should never do crystal meth on a porn set,” Bartholet’s advising his audience.

Big Daddy also talked about how he hooked up with the big titted icon, Elizabeth Starr for whom he shoots porn movies. One of which features Summer Cummings dressed like a nun.

“I believe Elizabeth’s back in New York, lactating,” Big Daddy muses. “And Elizabeth’s honest- you actually get paid.”

Bartholet’s watching a clip of Starr in action and comments about her tits: “That’s a lot of weight to carry- I’d help her hold ’em up.”

Big Daddy explains that 99% of porn sets have a zero tolerance policy towards drugs, his being the 1% that freely advocates booze.

“But no drugs,” he makes it clear.

Big Daddy and Jerry would dissolve into unprovoked Martin & Lewis bits with Jerry doing credible heavy lifting on That’s Amore. Big Daddy’s explaining that he met Jerry, who, instead of breaking in a lounge act, was breaking into parking meters at the time.

According to Big Daddy, the group also has plans to take the music act to Vegas. And Bartholet plays a clip of the band doing a hip-hop tune called, appropriately enough, Hey, Lady. Even Bartholet’s thinking out loud, this, actually, is pretty good stuff.

Before she’s introduced, James who’s there to promote eXXXtra, eXXXtra which comes out May 29, is describing a scene she shot for it featuring Otto Bauer and Audrey Hollander.

In one instance, James describes Otto used a beer bottle on Audrey except the Hustler legal dept. didn’t see it as a legitimate sex toy and had that portion of the scene edited.

Bartholet, who appears in the movie as well, brings up the Kurt Lockwood-Gram Ponante tiff which pretty much defined the shoot much to James’later chagrin. Referring to it as “the tussle,” James concedes that both people were at fault. But in the scheme of things, Gram had to be the one to leave the set since Kurt was the star of the show. Later, James said she was referred to, on the Internet, as one of “Kurt’s bitches.”

“We took a bit of a thrashing,” admits James who says, what with all the gonzos on the market, she has to sell her soul nowadays to get a feature made.

When it was brought up that someone had called the cops, James remembered an incident years before where she was shooting a movie in Malibu that featured Bridgette Kerkove and Taylor St. Clair.

“There were nine sheriff’s cars out in front,” James continued. “I didn’t know Malibu had that many police cars.” James solicited the Free Speech Coalition for advice and was told if she wanted to continue shooting movies in the adult business, she had to fight back. According to James, this all came about the time of 9/11 where legal priorities got re-directed and the case evaporated.

Then, between Mistress Ave and Keisha Paris, Bartholet’s probing for personal answers about bondage role playing. He can’t see where truck driver-types get off dressing like Little Bo Beep. Whereas Ave says dressing like “a sissy maid” is also very big.

Starr and Ave run the Hollywood Dungeon, and Bartholet seems to think a lot of this sneaks into the gray area of sexual activity. Ave says, yeah, customers will jack off.

“Most of the time they masturbate,” she concedes.

“This is considered legal?” Bartholet wonders. Ave tells him the rules are hands-off the doms, however.

Bartholet’s talking about the first time he whacked it- as a six year old- to a picture of Nancy Sinatra. Later, when he gets to meet Sinatra for real, he tells her the story, but she apparently doesn’t greet it with the gusto he had in describing it.

Pulling down his drawers, Big Daddy’s urging Mistress Ave to take a crack at his naked ass with a whip.

“There goes the Heinenken sponsor,” moans Bartholet.


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