If it quacks like a duck and shits in a pond, sometimes it is a duck. So saying, there’s a slightly disturbing pattern emerging with the Charlie Sheen case, and maybe the cops are looking into it. But seeing how celebrity in LA is given the secret handshake by the law along with the automatic Get of a Jail Monopoly card, probably not.

From what we know, Charlie, on Christmas Day, allegedly held a knife to the throat of his current wife and threatened to kill her, so sayeth the reports. Only this, according to his current wife, Brooke Mueller, isn’t the first time, but details aren’t clear on those previous circumstances. At least for now.

However no better expert in the field of domestic relations, Tom Arnold, himself, is quoted in a RadarOnLine video piece as saying that Sheen’s a “nice guy”. There, you have it. Remember OJ? He was a nice goofy guy, too, judging by the Naked Gun movies.

If the cynical part of you ain’t satisfied by Arnold’s assessment, Sheen’s wife previous, Denise Richards, claimed in a NY Daily News article that she too had her life threatened. Prior to this Mueller dust-up I would have held Richard’s testimony as second only to a porn chick’s for accuracy and truth. Now I’m beginning to wonder.

Looking for truffles in the pig slop, Sheen’s publicist Stan Rosenfield in an LA Times piece today advised not rushing to judgment. Publicists do that.

“Do not be misled by appearance,” advises Rosenfield. “Appearance and reality can be as different as night and day. It would benefit everyone not to jump to any conclusion.”

Yeah, the appearance of a switchblade and the reality of one jammed in a victim’s throat is night and day, I suppose. Then the Times article goes on to remind one and all that Sheen previously pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of battery with serious bodily injury for a 1996 incident involving his then-girlfriend, Brittany Ashland. Sheen was accused of knocking her to the floor, leaving her bloodied and briefly unconscious. Sound remotely familiar?

Sheen was then sentenced to two years probation with a suspended one-year jail term and 300 hours of community service. In other words, LA justice. Could you imagine if a porn personality was involved in a similar case? At Charlie’s sentencing, he told a judge: “I feel this is very fair, and I’m grateful….You will not see me back in this courtroom.”

Wrong. Now we’ll see Charlie spruced up, sober and back in the courtroom February 8th with the ghosts of Christmas past watching.

Let’s see: Chloe Jones’ mother is convinced Charlie had something to do with her daughter’s untimely death four years ago- supposedly Chloe was one of Charlie’s trollop call-ins with Chloe threatening to blow the whistle – and then there was another case of domestic violence involving two porn chicks, Charlise L’Amour and Teri Starr, which I reported on first hand some ten years ago. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=39271

Charlie can say all he wants in his defense, but I don’t think he’s changed much in the intervening time. Though I’m not rushing to judgment per Stan Rosenfield’s request.