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Jennifer Tilly Interview

Porn Valley-If actress Jennifer Tilly ain’t a porn star, she ought to be. Tilly was on Howard Stern today to promote the latest Chucky movie, Seed of Chucky, and Stern went for the dysfunctional jugular.

“Was there sexual abuse in your past?” he asked her. Tilly said possibly. “I have a theory that there was,” said Stern. “Your sister [Meg Tilly] wrote a book that had incest in it. You have dated gay men.” Stern thought it was time for Tilly to come clean. “What happened in your past?” Tilly said there were “terrible things”. Stern notices that one of her giveaways is the baby voice that Tilly adopts.

“But I don’t do the baby voice any more,” said Tilly who started showing tears, mentioning that Robin Quivers had written a similar book and Stern seems to harp on that subject constantly. “I hit a soft spot, here,” thought Stern. “Did anything happen in the past?”

Tilly admitted that she had a terrible childhood. “What was your abuse?” Stern asked.

“Neglect,” answered Tilly. “I went to The Golden Spa to lose weight but they work on your inner body as well as your outer body.”

Stern was under the impression that either Tilly’s father was part of a cult or that she had joined one. Tilly said her stepdad was a hippie. “He was his own cult. He was kind of like David Koresh. He wouldn’t let us join Girl Scouts because he thought we’d become part of the governmental war machine.”

Stern was very complimentary about Tilly’s boob revealing outfit with her noting that she had thought about putting on her “defensive outfit” of jeans and combat boots. Tilly also said she’s a frequent, almost daily listener of the show. Stern then gave her a quiz on wack pack soundbites and Tilly was required to identify them. She failed miserably.

It was mentioned that Tilly, who was formerly married to Sam Simon, created of The Simpsons is now dating a professional poker player “The call him The Unabomber because he wears a hood,” she said.

It was also noted that Tilly had dated a gay man. Stern was under the impression that it was two years. Tilly said it was two to three months. Anticipating the question, Tilly said she has a big gay following. “I don’t know why, I just do.” Tilly said she travels around with her gay friends all the time because her straight friends get married and have children. “Gay men all they do is look tan, shop at Barney’s…”

Tilly explained that she was coming out of a disastrous relationship. But it wasn’t the one with Simon. Stern wondered how much money she scored in the divorce. “Over Twenty million?” Tilly ignored the question and got back to the gay guy. “I was so excited because he was really into me and that should have been my first clue. Gay men are so thrilled. They think I’m the funniest person in the world. Straight men look a little nauseous when I make my gay-isms. He would laugh and laugh whenever I said something remotely funny.”

Tilly said she didn’t catch him checking out other guys, however. “But he would help me get dressed. He cared so much about my image.” Asked how she met the guy, Tilly said she was with one of her gay friends.

Tilly now admits she should have known the guy was gay. “We never had sex. We just had deep conversations.”

Another thing Tilly would notice is that whenever the guy opened his eyes, he’d lose his erection. “But I just thought I’m not his type- I’m not sexy enough for him.”

About ten minutes into the interview Stern said he now knew why Simon got a divorce, that Tilly has a tendency to babble. “He couldn’t take it. I’m getting a headache.”

Simon then called in stating that he heard Tilly’s story about her gay boyfriend. “That’s fantastic.” Stern went on to relate how Tilly scored a Black Amex card in the divorce as well. “It’s so not true,” she said.

Asked how much money he had to fork over in the split, Simon said he’s still paying out the nose. “It’s still coming in. That’s the problem. There’s no end to it.” According to Simon, they broke up after the first 13th episode of The Simpsons. “A series I was told not to do.” Tilly admitted telling him that he was so talented and why didn’t he channel them into something that was going to be successful.

Simon asked Tilly if she had ever seen the series. She said no. “Check it out,” he said. Simon admiited that he hasn’t seen the show in ten years. “I’m turning into her.”

But he claims Tilly has received “easily” over twenty million from the series.

“Please! I’m getting an auditor,” Tilly protested, claiming that she gets “a small chunk” of the proceeds but still has to do “bad movies” for money. Tilly admitted she wouldn’t have to work again if she drastically cut down her lifestyle. As additional compensation to Simon, Tilly joked about how she would deliver a moving eulogy at his funeral. Stern said he could see how a guy could fall for Tilley.

“I could see why Sam married you and gave you half his money. You’re fun and you’re pretty as hell. No doubt about it, Sam, you’re lucky that you banged her. It cost you a fortune.”

“I’m adorable,” Tilly said, but noted that she wasn’t going to get married again. “Nobody’s going to get their hands on my Simpson money.”

About the Black Amex card Tilly was asked if it were true that you had to put $250,000 on it a year. “I’m not sure,” she said. “I have a business manager who reads my bills.”

Simon then brought up an instance where Tilly bought an Aston-Martin for her boyfriend. Tilly said the problem with having Simpsons money is that you attract a lot of deadbeats. “Who are into you for the wrong reason.” Tilly said the car story was a long and complicated one. “I’m a little babe in the woods and I was conned into it.” Explaining the issue, but vaguely, Tilly said she tends to sign things without reading the small print.

Tilly then mentioned that she and Simon had an imaginary son who was always taking the Porsche out for a spin and getting in trouble. That was the genesis of Bart Simpsn.”

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