From www.simplyjimmyd.com: As posted by AdultFYI who reported on my recent KSEX radio appearance this past Thursday evening, on the Two Live Jew show with Daphne Rosen and Harry Weiss, I shot my first hermaphrodite scene yesterday [Friday]. It was, uhhh… interesting.

The Mighty Hermaphroditey, who refers to himself/herself as Jane, took part in his/her first porn scene ever which, depending on your tastes in porn, might be something of a good thing or some other thing. Hey! Whatever turns you on, people! The day included a lot of firsts for Jane as well as everyone else on the Damaged Pictures set. Thanks to my good friends at Damaged, I think my mind is more damaged than ever. Thanks guys!

Jane is 55 years old and, prior to Friday, had remained a virgin for all those 55 years. Actually, Jane still remains a virgin, sort of but only in one way. Sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself.

After shooting Jane’s pretty girl shots, we started the scene by interviewing him/her. Here’s a few highlights from the interview:

When asked how he/she came to be a hermaphrodite, Jane blamed her father which, I suppose, puts Jane in similar company with more than a few other porn stars.

According to Jane, when his/her Mom was pregnant (with Jane), her Dad, a drunken lout, kicked Jane’s mother in the stomach during the pregancy’s first tri-mester. When Jane’s Dad committed this heinous act, it resulted in chromosome damage which later resulted in Jane’s perculiar condition. Personally, and I’m no geneticist or an OB/GYN, I can’t quite buy into the notion that a physical kick could result in that kind of chromosome damage but who am I to a question this statement’s credibility?

By the way, if you haven’t figured it out, that’s Jane in the image at the top. Jane’s the one on the left if you weren’t sure who’s who. Jane believes he/she looks like Jamie Lee Curtis who, Jane claims, was also born a hermaphrodite. I can see the resemblance, can’t you? Jane’s the spittin’ image of Ms. Curtis, don’t ya think?

As the interview progressed, Jane casually mentioned that he/she could, theoretically, impregnate himself/herself. Jane claims full, dual-gender, plumbing and reproductive organs. We didn’t get into which pipes Jane pisses out of-way too much information for me-but this hypothetical statement regarding Jane’s potential ability to become pregnant through self-fertilization, I’ll admit, is fairly fascinating in a creepy, Outer Limits, sort of way. When Jane first mentioned this, my intial thoughts conjured images of the new-born alien monster from Aliens 3. You’ve seen Alien 3, right? The baby alien is the offspring of the alien queen and Ripley. Not pleasant thoughts, I might add, although now that George Bush has squashed stem-cell research, I’m thinking there might be a place for Jane, and others like him/her, in the medical research community.

Jane was thrilled with my photography. He/she wanted to know how I made his/her hair look so luxuriant and beautiful. (I’m not making this shit up.) I told him/her it’s my job and I’m clever with the lighting. Jane carefully examined all the photos I snapped. Jane was pleased… real pleased. As a photographer, I can’t ask for anything more than that from my models. In Jane’s mind’s eye, when Jane looks at Jane, she sees a ravishing and gorgeous human being with only one flaw. And he/she hopes to surgiccally rectify that in the not-too-distant future. That’s why Jane’s here, hooking up with the 14 billion dollar porn industry. Jane wants a share of those riches so he/she can be made, fully and exclusively, into the hot chick he/she already almost is. It was amazing how much Jane and I had in common: I want the same thing. Well, in terms of a piece of that $14B pie… not the other part.

Finally, we got to shooting the video. The first thing we shot was a solo scene. This is when things got real, uhhhh…. interesting.

Jane was provided with a dildo and some lube. After performing a strip-tease, which sure got me going, he/she laid back and began the job of doing himself/herself with the toy. We decided to start with a small toy-Jane being a virgin and all-and save something bigger for the strap-on scene that was still coming up.

This is the part where images started being impressed and recorded on my brain that I won’t be able to delete. As Jane first stimulated himself/herself with fingers, Jane’s fingers that is, he/she lifted his/her penis and there it was: Jane’s cootchy, cooter, that Holiest of Holies. That thing that is, under normal conditions, the object of most men’s desires.

But this was different. This was something that was in a place it should not be or, at the very least, accompanied by other things that should not be and, at least in my mind, the life-support system that supported it should not be! It seemed wrong… way wrong… I mean, Jane has a way of creating much empathy for his/her condition but it remained carnival freak-show WRONG nonetheless. But again, whatever turns some of you people on.

So Jane starts getting herself off with the dildo. It was a mess. Jane over-lubed it and things were all squishy and soggy and I found myself relying more on the zoom function of my camera rather than physical proximity. Plus, I practically had to beat and batter the PA to get him closer with the C-Light.

And then there was Jane’s technique: The dildo wasn’t the only thing penetrating him/her. Jane’s masturbatory methods included stuffing her own male appendage in there with the dildo. Is someone truly a virgin if they can fuck themselves? In their own pussy? With their own penis? Man! It sure gives the phrase, “Go fuck yourself!” new meaning. These are philosophical and technical questions I don’t want to engage in regardless of how many bowls I might smoke.

After the solo scene, we got ready for the big event which was, in this case, having our female performer plow Jane with a strap-on. Of course, what would sex be without a little foreplay? And me being the kind and caring sort, plus a big supporter of fore-play arts and practices, I thought I’d have a little private talk with the female talent regarding her limitations given the carnival-like carnal aspects of this scene.

We decided, make that she agreed, to allow certain things and not others. She would engage in certain practices and not others. As you might guess, kissing was out. Sorry. No necking in the video. But petting and touching and stroking and licking and fingers were okay. Does all this sound rather disturbing? You should try having been there. “Disturbing” doesn’t begin to describe it.

Okay. Time to get back to work. Our female performer who, btw, re-defines the term “being a trooper,” comes into the scene. Jane is falling in love. It’s obvious. It’s written all over him/her. Jane’s like a puppy dog. It’s like Jane is a “Make a Wish Foundation” recipient. This is best day of Jane’s life. A dream come true. While Jane claims she is more female-oriented than male-oriented, my sense is that Jane’s brain is wired more like a guy’s than a girl’s. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Jane is simply all-female (with that minor flaw of also having a dick… “also” being the pivotal word) and a lesbian to boot. Go figure if you want. I prefer restraining myself from overly figuring this shit.

I’m not going to go into details regarding the rest of the scene. You’ll just have to wait and buy or rent or get a screener of the DVD which, btw, should include an abundance of BTS footage. Besides, I don’t think it would be too healthy-I’m talking about mental health-for me to replay and relive the experience in my mind and in print. Just know that it was, uhhh…. different. Not just everyday different. I’m talking abducted by aliens and taken to a strange world different. It was a sad, funny, outrageous, hideous, off-the-wall, Twilight Zone-ish and, I suppose and in some ways, enlightening experience. I was thinking of bumping my rate for shooting this scene but, truthfully, no matter how much I would charge it wouldn’t be enough to cover the psychological damage its caused me. So, I’ll just leave my rate as is.

The Mighty Hermaphroditey will be available soon. I know all of you can’t wait! Contact Lewis at Damaged Pictures for details.