Mary Carey writes on hber My Space Page: I know most of you think just because you are famous, and just because you are on television that you have an amazing life and that things are great. That is the biggest lie ever.

You can never really have an amazing life unless you are happy with yourself. Most people get caught up with the fame and attention and loose sense of who they really are, and where they came from. I regret to say that I am one of those people. I have truly lost the real me.

I am caught constantly between being who I want to be and being the person people expect me to be. All I wanted when I was 17 years old was to be a ballerina and to be famous and after I injured myself I took the easy way out towards fame. I am so grateful for the career I have had and for everyone who believes in me, but what do you like me and believe in me for?

Because I changed my life on “Celebrity Rehab” or because I was a porn star? Underneath all of it I am just a really confused girl, I am not sure where I am going or where I want to go. I don’t know each day who I am when I wake up. I get caught up in my own hype. Sometimes I believe it. All in all, I’m just Mary Ellen Cook who grew up in Florida wanting to be a ballerina.

I am still me, a little girl caught up in my own dreams. There are so many fake people around me that they make me forget who I am, and it is so hard. As hard as it might be for some of you out there to believe, fame and fortune isn’t everything. I would give anything for some true, real people in my life. Having real friends and true people is worth more than anything.