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This was one buffet Ron Jeremy wasn’t attending. Actually, it was more of an informal get together at The Sportsmen’s Lodge for friends and professional associates of the late porn director Fred Lincoln.

Put it this way. Everybody liked Fred Lincoln. Lincoln certainly knew how to tell a story and adopted the Jesus look ages ago to go along with his parables.

[Vanessa Del Rio remarks how she always called Lincoln, “Jesus.”]

Had Lincoln started a religious cult, most of the industry would probably be sucking Kool Aid.

Tori Wells described how Lincoln often was her emotional salvation and would pull her up by the boot straps when the going got rough.

Eric Edwards recalls meeting Lincoln back in New York in the Deep Throat era.

“He was an actor, so was I. I could never grow long hair like did,” Edwards smiles ruefully.

Lincoln was a thin rail of a man with a raspy voice and a rock star mane. He started out with the idea of being an actor on the legitimate stage. Besides movie work, Lincoln did something like 75 commercials and, according to him, did stunt car driving in the film French Connection.

To non-porn fans, Lincoln’s probably best known for his iconic role in the horror film Last House on the Left, a Seventies drive-in flick which should serve as a warning to any young woman who’s thinking about buying marijuana from a stranger.

Lincoln’s one of the creeps in a Manson family of lunatics who makes another family’s life a living hell during the movie. In the end, Lincoln’s character “Weasel” Podowski gets his dick bit off. A moment which served as a starting point for a eulogy delivered by Bill Margold who shared a similar experience in the porn movie, Disco Dolls.

Margold went off on a discussion about chorizo sausages, so you had to be there to experience the full gist of the conversation.

“Fred Lincoln was a product of the urban rebellious Sixties on the Mean Streets of New York,” Margold also recalls.

Christian Mann, who like Jeremy, is dealing with major health issues, was the emcee, if that word can be applied in the context of a memorial service.

First, there’s a photo montage courtesy of Alexandra Silk with a picture of Lincoln sitting on a shitter. That one gathered the most chuckles.

A number of porn legends were in attendance including Hyapatia Lee who offered her remembrances of Lincoln. Hyapatia’s ex, Bud Lee, ultimately vyed with Lincoln for the best head of hair in the business. Bud now gets the title by default.

“I loved Fred so much- he was a unique spirit,” Hypatia tells the gathering.

“He brought many a smile to my face. I will never forget the impression he made on me.”

With the cult status of Last House on the Left, Scotty Schawartz, who’s in the celebrity memorabilia business, thinks Lincoln could have made some serious pennies signing autographs at fan conventions.

Fred, instead, elected to stay in porn and directed 393 movies [by his count].

Discussions about Lincoln invariably get around to race tracks and gambling. One story’s told by Howie Klein, a former owner of Caballero, how Lincoln couldn’t see the fine print in a racing form to save his life yet could tell you if a jockey dropped the whip in the far turn.

Patti Rhodes, who met Lincoln 28 years ago and was married to him as many years as they were separated [they were never divorced], relayed a couple of stories that involved Lincoln, gambling casinos, card games, beaches and guys with machine guns.

According to Rhodes, Lincoln’s daughter Angelica took her first steps in Bally’s

“Life with Fred was never dull,” she conceded. Rhodes also talked about the time that Lincoln, generous to a fault, hit it big at the track and then took his daughter to Toys “R” Us to stock up.

“A truck followed us home.”

Early on in their marriage, Lincoln was told he had cirrhosis of the liver and not to make plans for the summer. So much for doctors.

In Lincoln’s own words, Angelica was conceived in Florence, Italy on a balcony during a full moon. He was 59, and Lincoln always called his daughter “a gift from the gods” for being a decent man.

However his relationship with son Charles Lupula is more difficult to determine. Lupula, who co-authored Houston’s excellent autobiog, “Houston: Pretty Enough,” talking by Skype, conceded that he and Lincoln “didn’t have the greatest father-son relationship.”

Lupula, however, said his father taught him the valuable lesson about following your dreams and never allowing anyone to get in your way.

“He was the most amazing man in my life,” Angelica confirms.

“He was my best friend. He had a passion for living, and I loved to hear his crazy stories about life, and I know a lot of stories daughters shouldn’t know. If I needed him to pick me up 4 in the morning he was there.”

Angelica, a spitting image of a younger Patti Rhodes, went on to describe the advantage of having a father who was older, and hence smarter than some 25 year-old dad. Angelica says it was the fact that Lincoln knew about life and could wise her up to the pitfalls.

“He molded me into a strong, independent woman, and I won’t take shit from anyone.”

Lincoln always said his daughter was like him: “You fuck with her, she’ll fuck with you.”

Perhaps the best authority on the subject of Fred Lincoln is Lincoln himself. Cass Paley, a former porn director now full time documentarian, shot an interview with Lincoln which was shared with the audience.

[Paley earlier tells me he wants to do a documentary on porn baron Mike Thevis but can’t get access to him because Thevis, serving a life sentence in Minnesota, is in security lock-down.]

In the footage Paley shot of Lincoln, Lincoln describes himself as a doting father, ex-Marine and a former gangster but hastens to add that he never stole a dime while directing movies in porn.

Chuckling, Lincoln recalls another time when a porn fan recognized him from a movie titled “The Maneaters” where Lincoln’s apparently seen mopping up cum in a jizz booth.

Lincoln also tells a story how he had Sharon Mitchell over to his house one time and how Mitchell told him she liked hash in her ass.

After Mitchell dropped her pants and bent over, Lincoln described in meticulous detail how he put the hash on his finger and stuck it in Mitchell’s ass only to have a next door neighbor [described by Lincoln as a lunatic] walk in with his ex-wife Tiffany Clark.

This is happening just as Lincoln’s saying to Mitchell, aloud, “It [the hash] melted all over my finger.”

The neighbor was obviously mortified figuring it was something else that melted on Lincoln’s finger.

Philosophical to the bitter end, Lincoln says in the video clip he has no idea what lies beyond death’s door.

“You don’t know until you go.”

Lincoln shrugs thinking about what he had just said and adds, “That would make a great bumper sticker.”