Porn Valley- Sunday evening I had a chat with Skeeter Kerkove. We talked about illegal aliens working in porn, but before we get to that topic [in a later post], the conversation went something like this:
Skeeter starts off with the idea that no matter how many scenes Tom Byron and Ron Jeremy have claimed to do, Rick Masters and Dave Hardman [pictured] have at least doubled that.
“And that’s without comps,” Skeeter reminds you.
“Those are the guys that did the most scenes- God, those guys were gods before Viagra. Before there were pills, there was Hardman and Masters. For every scene Tom Byron and Ron Jeremy did combined, Dave Hardman and Rick Masters did three. Dave Hardman has the record before Viagra, Cialis and Caverject: five scenes for Jim Powers in one day in 1994. Back-to-back-to-back-to-back-toback.
“But it wasn’t planned. It was Jim throwing more and more at him, catching the actor off guard,” Skeeter continues.
“Then there was Gangbang Angels 5 for Bridget and I. Dave Hardman decides to come six times during the gangbang. And the first time, I’m going, ‘don’t cum, bro.’ He goes, I’ll be okay. There he is, cumming and keeping it going. Six different times during the scene.”
“This was back when Evan Stone said today is my last gonzo- I’m going to be a beautiful, loving, features-only man. But I want to say good-bye to you because Bridget called me on so many feature sets in the past half year, so I’m here.”
“This was at Bobby Gallagher’s studio in the utmost ghetto of North Hollywood,” Skeeter recalls. “Gallagher was that good ol’ outlaw; he’s now dead, rest in peace. Mr. Marcus was there, sassy Mark Wood, Brandon Irons..that’s a good start, right? This was for Elegant Angel.”
“This was the first, massive, multiple anal creampie done in porn- 16 cum shots in Bridget’s butt. And, at the end- Alex Ladd- he’s such a beautiful man, so sexy- he wanted the cum shots to be spread on the boobs and on the face. I was having a fit. I didn’t want the cum on her face and titties. That’s played out. Everybody does that. But he says Patrick Collins wants this. I did tell him why can’t we just put her in a pile driver, and we all cum in her open ass. He goes, what? I said, yeah, we’ll just jack off and just drop it in her ass- it’s so stretched out after all this fucking.”
“So I’m telling the guys we’re going to jack off in her butt hole because I thought it was nasty. Alex Ladd was so appalled, even though he’s done 50 anal creampie movies since then. But not one before then. It’s called date of Production, baby- DOP.
“Was he the director?” I ask Skeeter.
“In his own little mind he was,” Skeeter answers. “But the cameraman and the performers were pretty much at the helm. So I’m looking at Bridget; then I look right over at saucy little Brandon Irons. I look over at him and Mark Wood knows I’m going to say something sarcastic. And I got Bridget on top and I’m fucking her. I grab her by the back of her head and I look at her and I twist her head towards Brandon and I go, ‘hop on that Brandon, baby.’
“I point to Brandon, and Mark looks at me in disgust: ‘Skeeter, you’re such a pig.’ So it was fun. Then Brandon got on it. Brandon had on his cowboy hat. And a couple of us- I was one of them- enjoyed wearing a cowboy hat. You know why? It hides our receding hairlines. I was having a ball and a lot of these guys weren’t used to jacking off your penis into a girl’s open butthole. It was all about facials and boobs then. Little did I know that Roger T. Pipe would give the credit to someone else. But it was a long time ago. Like he used to say when he reviewed some of my old movies, what a waste of sperm to put it in a girl’s butthole.”