Porn Valley- Even prestige universities don’t offer the opportunities for broadening the scope of intellectual endeavor as K.C. Armstrong does.
Once again, Armstrong proved that I.Q. is better than no Q when he brought “The Cock Doc,” Dr. Joel Kaplan on his PrimeTimeUncensored show Tuesday night, www.primetimeuncensored.com.
Kaplan’s regarded as a leading authority in erection enhancement therapy. In other words, when you can’t get it up, Kaplan’s the one you want to hand it to.
And Kaplan, www.getbiggertoday.com, brought with him various models of the penis enlargement pump – a device whose vacuum strength could suck the cataracts out of a dead man. According to Kaplan, the units range in cost from $200 to $500. And Kaplan said there was also a hand held model.
“In case you break down on the side of the road,” Armstrong suspected.
“You can get huge with this,” insisted Kaplan. Except Armstrong brought the classic Bridget the Midget debate into play, noting that a guy with an 18-inch schlong might be considered too big, especially for a midget female partner. But Kaplan didn’t anticipate those kinds of obtacles.
According to Kaplan, the device will produce penis growth more in the range of 1 to 3 inches with a girth increase of 25%. Kaplan advised using the pump three times a week, from 20 minutes to half an hour.
Armstrong, who admitted to an insignificant scrotum, wondered if it would also do the same for the ball sac; and Kaplan said there was a second cylinder designed for that purpose.
“This is fuckin’ science,” Armstrong marveled.
And, according to Kaplan, the penis pump works phenomenally with Viagra. Kaplan also advised that once desired results are achieved to use the pump once every ten days to maintain size.
“The bigger you are, the bigger you’re going to get,” said Kaplan and Armstrong wondered if it would do the same for genital warts.
“How about sticking it up your ass?” Armstrong wondered. But Kaplan couldn’t speak from clinical or personal experience if that would work.
“I have men who are very happy because of that pump,” extolled Kaplan. To which Armstrong said his father used to call him needle dick.
“But that was when he was raping me.”
Armstrong then asked porn performer Jack Vegas what his thoughts were about the pump. Asked if he’d considered using one, Vegas sounded somewhat enthusiastic, although Vegas carries an 8-inch package to begine with.
Vegas did mention that he had Peyronie’s Disease where his dick tilted left.
“How about Pierogies Disease?” Armstrong asked Kaplan who claimed the pump could also straighten matters out.
Vegas was asked if he’d be willing to give a demonstration. But when Armstrong learned that he was on two earlier shoots he suggested Vegas might have “West Nile Gonorrhea.”
In case someone reading this doesn’t realize, Armstrong was kidding.