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What The Fuck Happened To Ginger Lynn? Respect Your Fans and Don’t Be Fat Elvis

What the fuck has happened to Ginger Lynn?

If you go to my Instagram, I posted a picture of her from the XRCO Awards with the caption “WTF!!! I used to jerk off to that. Poke out my fucking eyes!!!” I know, it’s horrible. But I never realized how unbelievably repulsive she had become. It’s something where somebody would say, “Well, Rob that just comes with age.”

Listen, fuck you and your age bullshit. We could pick out all the girls who are in her age range, but let’s face it; Ginger Lynn is a fuckin train wreck. She doesn’t take care of herself. For the life of me, I have no idea why she does it. I know she’s got money. Steve Hirsch has gotta be paying her 10, 20 thousand a month for the kid. She’s got a kid with Steve Hirsch. He’s gotta be giving her money. She doesn’t have any money? Bullshit.

Look at Amber Lynn. Granted, she’s had some work done. I get it. But Amber Lynn looks pretty fucking good and she’s 49. She’s a year and a half younger than Ginger, but Amber looks stunning next to Ginger. She’s had work done on her face, but her body is bangin. Take a look at Amber’s body, then take a look at Ginger’s body. It’s like Night of the Living Shit. It really is. Ginger’s body looks like a sack of potatoes and Amber’s got a better body than girls in their 20’s and she’s almost 50.

It really is embarrassing when you have women who want to stick around and still make money and they look like this. Remember, a couple years ago Ginger Lynn was in Rob Zombie movies. Ginger Lynn’s somebody who goes and does those conventions. Not the old porn broad conventions, but the horror and B-movie conventions. She was at Monsterpalooza in Burbank, I think she goes to Comic-Con. This is somebody who does these things. You know she’s getting paid and if she’s not, she can go and sell stuff. This is not a woman who’s struggling. So there’s really no excuse for her to look like a dog’s asshole.

If you wanna stay in this business and you wanna make money and you wanna sell yourself, please get in shape. Seriously, man. Get in shape. Do the fans a favor and have some self respect.

Listen, as much heat as Christy Canyon and I had seven or eight months ago when I talked shit about Steve Hirsch, look at her. She’s 48 and she looks great. Ginger, when I look at pictures of you lately I wanna gouge my eyes out. How can somebody who was so cute, so adorable and so captivating look like a pile of rat’s assholes 30 years later? It’s depressing, it really is. All of your peers look better than you. Christy’s only three years younger than you. Are you gonna tell me that in three years Christy Canyon’s gonna look like a squirrel’s asshole? No way. And Amber Lynn’s one year younger and she looks better than 85% of the porn girls in their 20’s right now.

You can look at the pictures at the XRCO and see a bunch of girls who don’t look as good as Amber. Alex Chance? She has stretch marks and she’s flabby. My favorite BBW Karla Lane is disgusting. Dee Dee Lynn? She look like Karen Carpenter with a sandwich or two in her. She’s disgusting. But none of them are as hideous as Ginger Lynn.

If you’re gonna be in the porn business as an aging vet, don’t look like shit. It’s wrong. You didn’t look like shit when you were young and in the business, why would you look like shit when you were older? You say, “I’m older, it’s what happens.” Bullshit. It’s not an answer and it’s not an excuse.

So please. If you’re in this business and you decide to be in this business until the wheels come off, get your wheels fucking fixed. Take as much pride in your appearance as you did in your 20’s. It’s only right.

Even Rebecca Bardoux. She’s 50 years old. She looks better than Ginger Lynn. And Rebecca Bardoux didn’t get tons of work done. She’s old looking, but she looks better then Ginger. 50 years old and stills look better than Ginger. She looks great.

Have some respect. If you don’t have respect for yourself, have some respect for your fans. Your fans who come out to see your old ass and give you money. Have some goddamn respect for them. So when they show up to see you they don’t go, “Oh, God… What the fuck is that?”

Have some respect for your fans so when they walk away they don’t wanna poke their own eyes out. I don’t know what it is, if it’s all the booze you drink or what. You’re like a fat Elvis. Like when Elvis got all fat and pilled out, “Lemme gedda notha peanut budda and banana sandwich. Thankyouverymuch. And anotha bottle of Quaaludes. Thankyouverymuch.”

Ginger, put the wine bottle down, put down the leg of lamb and the shoulder of ham and hit the fucking treadmill, fer crissakes. Who woulda thought Amber Lynn would look this good at 50 and be better looking than Ginger? She’s still a ball busting pain in the ass and she kinda looks like Buck Adams, so you gotta get that picture outta your head. But she looks good. And she gives a hell of a blow job.

So Ginger, have some respect, if not for yourself for your fans. Don’t be fat Elvis.

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: [email protected]

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