Anorak: AVN’s Awards Show Article Defies Parody

Someone ought to tell the dope who wrote this article that Eric Swiss won the award for Best Actor.

from – THERE’S no place like Las Vegas if you’re looking for something cheap and tawdry… especially this past weekend. Saturday night, the Palms Hotel played host to the AVN Awards. Think of them as the Golden Globes of porn.

Among the faces & privates on the red carpet were those belonging to Shauna Sand, Dave Navarro, Ron Jeremy and Margaret Cho (accompanied by a babe on a leash)…

The AVN website covers its own awards do with an article that defies parody. Keep the seat covers on and pass the popcorn, the show’s about to begin.

The highlight of the show is not the almost-dressed orange-skinned performers – the likes of which are rarely seen outside a footballer’s dinner and dance at China Whites, Katie Price’s knickers drawer or the annual UK soap awards – but the film’s titles, acceptance speeches and the awards on offer. Oh, and Eric John and Vicki Chase got married at the pre-show expo.

The 8th Day won for Best Video Feature, Best All-Girl Threeway Sex Scene, Best Videography/Cinematography, Best Makeup, Best DVD Extras, Best Packaging Innovation and Best Online Marketing Campaign—Individual Project.

2040 achived Best Group Sex Scene, Best Art Direction and Best DVD Menus. The film’s star Kirsten Price said: “I’d like to thank all the vaginas and all the cocks…”

And it’s not all glassy awards (the gongs look like those novelty fish tanks in which you press a button beneath and a purple fish swims to the surface) but some actual prizes. A star called Kimberly Kane scooped the Best Actress award and a diamond bracelet and Best Actor, Manuel Ferrara, got a Tag Heuer watch valued at $5,000. (Tiger Woods was unavailable.)

There were a few memorable lines from the evening’s acceptance speeches, the best of which had to be Sasha Grey’s acceptance of the Best Oral Sex Scene award for Throat: A Cautionary Tale.

“I really didn’t think I was going to win this. Can someone remind me who the guy was?”

Awards followed by drinks and nibbles…

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