Fight the Holiday Blues with…. iPhone Porn Sez Pink Visual

VAN NUYS, Calif. – ‘Tis the season – the season for depression and heightened anxiety that is, according to many psychologists and counselors across the country. Whether you term it “Seasonal Affective Disorder” or the more colloquial “Holiday Blues,” Christmas time sends many consumers in search of a means to drown their Yule-borne sorrows.

Do prescription anti-depressants help? Is a combination of a healthy diet and regular exercise the key? One California-based group believes it has the unraveled the mystery, but it isn’t a health clinic, or a psychological research team; it’s a mobile porn company.

“The leading theory around our office is that iPhone users have found a cure for the holiday blues in mobile porn surfing,” said Kim Kysar, Brand and Product Manager for Pink Visual. “It makes a lot of sense, really; everybody knows the holidays can be a stressful time, and what better way to ‘blow off some steam,’ so to speak, than to curl up on the couch with a mug of egg nog and a few gigabytes of hardcore porn?”

Judging by the email and feedback our customer service department receives in that same time frame, it’s pretty clear that for a lot of consumers, mobile porn has restorative properties that aid significantly in the holiday healing process.”

While Kysar said her company’s research team is not yet sure precisely what it is about mobile porn that makes it an effective salve for holiday depression, Pink Visual feels solid enough in its conclusion that wireless erotica mitigates seasonal sadness that it is forging ahead with a campaign to boost public awareness about the apparent mental health benefits of watching sexually explicit videos on your smart phone.

“Our public service effort is called ‘Dreaming of a Pink Christmas,’ and as part of the campaign, we are offering our prescription strength mobile porn at over-the-counter prices,” Kysar said. “In addition to combating depression, for many men, our mobile porn is just as effective in beating Erectile Dysfunction as is Cialis, and you don’t have to sit outdoors in a bathtub to use it.”

From today through Dec 31, Pink Visual is offering access to its mobile mental health clinic/porn site PVMobile.com (www.pvmobile.com) at 50% off the normal monthly rate, meaning that relief from the holiday blues will cost consumers less than 35 cents per day.

While Kysar confessed that Pink Visual is hoping the awareness campaign also results in added holiday sales for the company, the primary motivation is “to do our part to help people who are struggling with the holiday blues.” She also offered some personal anecdotal evidence in support of the data that indicates mobile porn has antidepressant qualities.

“I have never once seen a man watch one of our videos without getting a smile on his face,” Kysar said.

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