Holly Sampson wants to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what she wants for Christmas. I suppose Sampson saw the white beard but didn’t notice the fact I’d lost 20 pounds and am back to fighting weight thanks to a physically involving change of residence over the past couple of weeks.

But Sampson, a very pretty woman who found her way on to the cast at the urging of Dane Cross, can be forgiven all things because she’s got a great ass which swells loftily and tight under her gray skirt. Cross will enjoy some of that when he and Sampson pair off later.

“Thanks, I work hard at it,” Sampson tells someone when complimented about the contours of her butt. Sampson’s playing a blond MILF librarian [talk about being specific with your niches], and she’s got company. Brooke Haven [pictured] and Heidi Mayne are dressed similarly. Blouses and tight skirts awash in ass.

Being that this is taking place in a library, there’s literature stacked on tables, and one of those rare instances when a book is found on a porn set. There will be an all-girl threeway, and Samson checking out the length of Haven’s Dragon Lady fingernails for potential danger, says this will only be her third such scene. Haven, there for awhile, stopped doing boy-girl for Sapphic exclusivity but realized that wasn’t working out.

“They’re not shooting a lot of girl-girl anymore,” she sighs.

Haven needs to get her skirt off for some pictures and asks for help with her zipper. I comply. Which is the first request like that in recent memory that hasn’t cost me at least $250 for the hour.

Devan Cypher, the director and writer of this opus is off in some corner explaining character arc and development along with the success of a three-act structure to porn journalist Gram Ponante. I believe the script Cypher’s referring to is titled Naughty Blond MILF Librarians. So to say that Cypher might be laying it on rather gratuitously is probably diminishing his capacity for exaggeration.

Barrett Blade’s stifling his capacity for yawning and is the ongoing subject of hangover jokes. Cypher himself looks like he just rolled out of his surfboard, which is his new past time now that he’s living in Venice.

To explain, the crew celebrated Blade’s birthday the night before at a Japanese restaurant, and even money there might have been some Sake involved when Cypher mentioned that, oh, by the way, Blade had to be on set by 8 am.

Blade apparently hadn’t been aware of that particular fact until the moment Cypher dropped the news on him. Cypher explained why and how that happened, and Blade, who’s working in a scene later with Brooke Haven is, for the moment, shooting the pretty girls which necessitated the removal of said Brooke Haven skirt.

Maya Devine has a light day in the makeup chair since this is one of those shoots that’s meant to keep moving without time to look long in the mirror.

“So the girls come pre made up?” I ask Devine who’s off in her own world at the moment.

“She’s jazzercising,” explains Cypher when Devine, who works occasionally as a performer but mostly now as a makeup artist, slithers about like a Pentacostal to the influence of unseen spiritual forces.

Devine just celebrated her 11th wedding anniversary to Eric Masterson who, for the occasion is fucking Tatum Pierce, according to the script. In a business where relationships expire like auto registrations, including the 11 years, Devine and Masterson have been together all told for 15. So it’s safe to say that Devine trusts Masterson’s dick to do the right thing.

Pierce who’s blond but hardly a MILF yet is playing a college girl and Masterson, the Dean of the school, is about to be unduly influenced in some way sexual. Which is what the theme’s about.

Maybe hoping for the same results, David Lord asks Pierce if she’s into middle aged white guys. She says why, yes.

“There’s a future for you,” Lord informs her. Pierce, it’s noted, arrived at the studio 7:40 AM and was there before anyone, which – next to books- is generally something unheard of on a porn shoot. For being such a good sport, Cypher suggests that Pierce should be blowing someone on the crew, and she wants to know if she’s got other options.

Jay Ashley’s working with Heidi Mayne, and off camera they’re roommates. At an age when your dick begins thinking about other things to do, Jay just acquired a kitten. Asked why he did that, Jay, obviously speaking from some level of authority, responds that he wanted a companion who wouldn’t scream, berate or belittle him.

Blade, who’s thumbing through an old Club International, comes across a picture of Charlie Lynn and asks Ashley if he’s ever worked with her which Jay hasn’t.

“She’s cute- I ought to book her for something,” Blade comments.

Ashley’s been in the business now for 19 years, and Haven can’t believe that it’s already been six since I first interviewed her. The last time Haven and Ashley worked together was on a Chico Wang shoot.

Haven describes it as one of the most disturbing experiences she ever had in porn- not because it involved Ashley, but because she had been in Frat Houses that were better kept than the late Chico’s old dump which was decorated for the most part in used beer cans.

“I like to fuck in a place that’s, er, clean,” she smiles.