Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Rodney Moore, Gene Ross, Papa Smurf, and The Sexxxtons Make Room in the Trophy Case

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Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.

The Louella Parsons award goes to AdultFYI’s very own, Gene Ross.

This week Gene regaled me about his night out on the town New Year’s Eve. Gene is a great story teller, especially when he’s making his world-famous Italian meatballs topped with American cheese [Mario Batali just blew his brains out].

But I digress.

When he started the story I was hoping he would tell some sex-charged yarn about how he hooked up with some long-lost porn vixen he met at Soup’s Sports Grill and somehow he talked her into a little New Year’s celebration back at his vast estate: maybe skinny dipping in the pool at 2 in the morning.

No, Gene shared with me and the readers of this site his stellar New Year’s Eve hanging out with such notable celebrities as Scotty Schwartz and Frank Stallone.

Talk about a name dropper. Are you jealous yet?

Gene went on to relate that he has been collaborating with Scotty Schwartz on his autobiography. I’m guessing the working title is, Scotty Schwartz: The Life and Times of a Frozen Pole Licker….maybe not.

Nonetheless when Uncle Gene tells a story it’s always fascinating.

The Don’t Let the Facts Get in the Way of a Good Story award goes to Monica and Jessica, better known as the daughter/mother porn star act, The Sexxxtons.

In a recent article posted on, mother Jessica said, “Everyone thinks that is a wonderful idea because we’re the first ones who have done this,” she explained.

Uh, no, Mom, you’re not the first daughter/mother act who has performed together. Desi Foxx and her daughter Elli made their debut about 5 years ago. And if you want to really turn on the way-back machine, who could forget Delilah and Sabrina Dawn reaching back into the 1980s.

Sweetheart, there hasn’t been anything new in the porn industry in about 30 years.

Oh, and shame on for not doing any research or fact checking. Nice job, boys.

The Chef Boyardee Cooking the Books award goes to Papa Smurf and Vivid.

The announcement of Kim Kardashian being in the family way lead to an opportunity for Papa Smurf to once again trumpet her years old sex tape: Vivid says video-on-demand purchases of the sex tape have spiked 80% since Sunday night … the fattest increase they’ve seen since Kim’s wedding to Kris Humphries.

Sure it did. An spike of 80%? Riiiiiiiight.

Free publicity is a great thing.

The Flying Wallendas award goes to Cleveland stripper, Lauren Block.

Block was injured when she plunged 15 feet while reportedly trying to “complete some sort of jump/dance move” while giving a lap dance to a customer, police reported.

While cops investigated inside the club, they were approached by Pasquale Storino, 25, who said that he was “receiving a lap dance” from Block when she “grabbed the rail…and tried to complete some sort of jump/dance move.”

Storino, who said he was facing away from the balcony, added that Block “accidentally went head first over the rail.”

All of us at AdultFYI wish her a speedy recovery.

Rodney Moore [pictured] gets the OSS award. For you history buffs, the OSS was the World War II predecessor of the CIA which, in turn, begat the concept of double agents. One minute you’re on our side; the next minutes your huddling with the Russkis. Rodney Moore this week tried to come off as a friend to porn by posting a letter critical to the AVN awards process for recognizing the Best Tube site.

Moore called the category a “slap in the face” to the industry.

However, ol’ Rod seems to forget the fact he used to advertise on the original Luke Ford site when Luke made it a daily practice of slapping the industry in the face with the wet mackerel of bogus stories and unsubstantiated accusations. Or maybe Mr. Moore conveniently forgets about that. However, we here at AdultFYI didn’t.

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