Entering into an official long-term relationship, which people generally call “marriage”, is a very important step. You know each other, you share common interests and values but have you discussed everything you’re interested in? There are some topics that couples avoid discussing before tying the knot and then regret their thoughtlessness. Those unsettled questions can arise in future and trigger off conflicts or even lead to a breakup. So, here are the topics you need to discuss prior to getting married.
Intimacy. Partners’ sexual energy may not always coincide. Don’t be afraid to talk about how often you want to have sex and other intimate details. It will facilitate a better understanding in your couple. Since sex is an important aspect of a married life, you should make the things clear from the start.
Finances. When people start living together as a couple, one of the first issues they face is money. They need to discuss the way they will manage their finances in advance. You’ll purchase many things for your home, for daily use, so decide how you’ll form your budget. Naturally, you’ll want to save money for future investments or traveling. It’s difficult to give any tips on this aspect of your life because you should decide on the amounts you’ll spend and save.
Work-life balance. If you openly express your attitude to your partner’s overtime job and discuss your career plans, you’ll avoid many future conflicts. At the beginning of your marriage, you’ll want to spend a lot of time with your spouse and if your partner has a busy job and works even on the weekend, it may disappoint you. So, you need to be aware of your partner’s schedule and accept it. For example, you can agree that it’s necessary for the material well-being of your couple.
Living conditions. Maybe, you’ve always dreamed to live outside the city and your partner can’t imagine his/her life without hustle and bustle of a big city. You should discuss where you want to live and what conditions are comfortable for you.
Kids. Many couples don’t touch upon this topic before marriage and then face the consequences after tying the knot. There are a lot of kids-related questions you should discuss. First, you should be on the same page as to when you want to have kids: will it be soon after a wedding or you need several years to establish your lives? Second, talk about how many children you want to have. Yet, you’ll know the answer only after your first baby arrives. You should also ask your partner’s opinion as to the possibility of adoption.
Religion. If you don’t discuss your religious beliefs in advance, you might have fights when you realize your partner is too religious or doesn’t respect your faith. In order to prevent any possible disagreement and misunderstandings, find the right time to talk about the role your religion plays in your and your partner’s life. It’s extremely important for your future life, especially when you’ll become parents.
Time with relatives. Your relations with your family may be different from the relations your partner has with their family. Since you were raised in different environments, you should discuss whether you’re going to visit your relatives, how often you need to go to your/your partner’s native town to see your parents, how you’re going to celebrate big holidays – with friends or in a family circle.
Values and views on marriage. Before making a vow, make sure you know each other’s views on marriage. What do expect from it? Do you want a posh ceremony or will it be only for you two? Discuss your responsibilities, chores, and lifestyle.
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