Porn Valley- About the time that Wankus and Jimmy Mofo were feeling no pain and were show prepped, it appeared as though Wankus and Mofo, apparently filling in for Cheech and Chong, would have to send out a search party to find the stars of the KSEX’s new shoot-from-the-hip Friday afternoon program, 420.

In the meantime, Wankus was doing a big 10-4 with Katie Morgan, one of the hosts, who was late and on the freeway.

“We got a white boy and beaner on the couch,” laughed Wankus noting the obvious absence of the Katies. “What the fuck is that all about?” Morgan, on cell, explained that she was caught in traffic. Wankus thought it was perfect that Morgan was late for a show being called 420.

“I didn’t know that traffic was like this at 4:20,” protested Morgan. “I’m not usually driving.” Asked if she was show prepping, Morgan said she was ready for it. “But I’m still in the car.” Asked what she was wearing, Morgan said she was on the way from the gym and was in gym clothes. Wankus suggested that Mofo being a Mexican would like sweaty girls.

Mofo asked Morgan if she did squats at the gym. Morgan said she didn’t know but had been on machines. “I did something for every part of me.” Mofo said there was nothing hotter than a wet, white girl but that for the debut of the 420 show they couldn’t get the “bitches” there on time.

“Next Friday it better be different,” he said. “All the girls that say they love us, they better be here next Friday. Next Friday’s going to be different.”

Mofo, who must have been whiffing the air in the studio beside show prepping, also said he was tripping out on some of the carpeting. “I can see sperm on it.” Mofo also likened Wankus to Howard Stern in that Stern’s wife left him and Stern comes back with a hotter woman. “How dope was that?” Wankus asked just what was he trying to say about Daisy. Mofo said Daisy was hot.

“Espercially when she wore that Catholic school girl skirt,” said Mofo. “I would jerk off in the parking lot of Sardos. But Daisy wouldn’t do anything- at least not with me. Why? Because I’m fat, maybe. Because I’m Mexican? Maybe a three-inch penis? Is that what it is?” Wankus asked if the comments were to suggest in any way that Tyler Faith would do something with or to him. Mofo replied that all he was trying to say was that Faith was a hot, white girl.

Just as Mofo was saying something about chili burgers, Morgan arrived at the studios, Katie Gold nowhere in sight. Mofo surprised at Morgan’s quick appearance thought she was still miles away. In a comment she took to mean as an unfavorable comparison to Michael Jackson, Morgan said, “I look like an African-American child molester?”

Morgan also said something to the effect that people in the chatroom were trying to analyze what was going on. “This is not a show,” explained Wankus, emphasizing the apparent obvious. “We’re just hangin’ out, show preppin’.” It was just then that Wankus noticed the absence of Katie Gold. Morgan explained that Gold was on set. “That sucks.”

“It’s her debut show!” Wankus protested. Morgan asked him what Gold was supposed to do about that. Mofo then asked Morgan how much show prep she did, Morgan saying blood had run to her head from doing all the running up the stairs. “But I’m pretty prepped at the moment.”

Wankus mentioned that one of the websites had put up a picture of Cindy Crawford sans makeup and that she had bought a goat. Mofo took that as a cue to ask Morgan if she’d either fuck an animal or would she let an animal fuck her. “No, because it’s wrong,” Morgan replied. “Would you?”

Morgan, getting defensive, said she’d watch but wouldn’t do it. Mofo wondered about long-haired Golden Retrievers and would Morgan find them attractive. “And you’re going why not?” For his part, Mofo said he could picture one licking his balls. Morgan suggested that the line of questioning was becoming uncool.

“Would you fuck a fish?” Mofo then asked her. “Have you seen the dolphins with their holes?” Mofo then painted a scenario of Morgan finding a dolphin beached on the sand and then looking at its holes. “Next thing you know you start looking at that hole. You guys know what I’m talking about?” Wankus said he would fuck Dolphin cheerleaders. Morgan said that was different. “They’re humans.”

Mofo then predicted that next week he would have 48 chicks in the studio. “Then we wouldn’t breathe,” said Morgan. “They’d fill up the whole room.” Mofo then went on to relate the “true story” about lowriders and the reason for cars with the hydraulics that would allow them to go up and down. “Mexican bitches once you marry them do not give up pussy for shit,” said Mofo. “So the only way us fucking Mexicans can even get close to the action of going up and down was making a car- that’s the whole concept.”

Wankus suggested it was more like they needed a car that would allow them to get over the fence.

Asked about the last thing she shot, Morgan said she couldn’t remember. “Has it been that long?” asked Mofo. Morgan said it was about four days previous but couldn’t summon a recollection. Then it dawned on her that it was for New Sensations. Mofo then mused about God making a planet where motherfuckers walked around with 4 inch penises and 14 inch penises. “Think about that. How cruel is that?” Putting himself in the 4 inch category, Wankus said he was given other skills to compensate.

Wankus then brought up Nicole Brazzle noting a bit sarcastically that she was Morgan’s best friend. “She has a new protege that she met on a plane. She’s kind of cute.” Mofo thought that Brazzle was hot. It was noted that Brazzle’s first scene was for Max Hardcore and Morgan was asked about hers. She said it was for Ed Powers.

Wankus explained how he basically put up a press release about the 420 show as a joke but was getting response to explain what it was all about. “I can’t tell you about it- because it’s really about nothing.” It was then that Gold called in to explain that she was doing a scene for Extreme. “You suck but we love you,” Wankus told her.

Asked if she was show prepped and “safe,” Gold said all the girls she was working with, were. Gold then had all of them in the background yell out a collective hi. Wankus said it sounded like something from The Wizard of Oz. And to answer the obvious question, Wankus said everyone in the stuido was show prepped.