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Adult Cyber Mart Sneak Peek: Naomi Watts is This Week’s Celebrity Babe of the Week

Early in her acting career, Adult Cyber Mart’s Celebrity Babe of the Week, Naomi Watts, much like Nicole Kidman, a former classmate of hers, was known to get naked at the drop of a hat.

In fact Watts, at 42, still exhibits skin. She created a public stir not too long ago by appearing on a hotel balcony au natural during the filming of Mother and Child, and the photos, predictably, began showing up on the Internet [pictured].

Unfortunately, Naomi as CIA spook Valeria Plame in Fair Game, doesn’t get naked although we were hoping for a re-telling of Plame’s story to accommodate that possibility. No such luck.

Early on. Naomi always wanted to be a runway model, but with her being a 5’5”, do the math. Although she persisted in that career with a stint in Japan where the height requirements are casually overlooked in exchange for sexual compromise, Naomi, tired of being pawed by licentious Japanese business men with hidden agendas, took a job in Australia working in a department store. Then she went on to a position for a fashion magazine where she translated English into Australian.

Born September 28 in Kent, England, Naomi’s a Libra and studies have shown that most women who gravitate towards professional escorting and skinny dipping are generally born under this sign. We have known Libras, particularly women, who’d get naked for sport so there must be something to all this astrology business.

Johnny Appleseed, Bela Lugosi, Gandhi, Dwight Eisenhower, Jesse Jackson, Ed Sullivan, Desmond Tutu, King Richard III, Mickey Mantle and Sigourney Weaver are all famous Libras, so need we say more to make our point?

The fact Libra is also considered a “masculine”, sign accounts for the fact that many women born in the seventh house of the Zodiac are also Lesbos. Make of that what you will.

The fact that Naomi’s family later moved to Australia from Wales [her father was road manager for Pink Floyd] causes all kinds of confusion among biographers who have no idea what exactly her nationality is.

For purposes of this essay, all we care to elaborate upon is the fact that Naomi has a pretty face, creamy smooth legs and nice feet. As with many celebrity babes of the week, we’ve sent countless emails expressing our appreciation of Naomi and these attributes all of which have gone unanswered.

Being extremely critical fans of the boo genre, Naomi’s hit horror film The Ring made us very afraid and we did poopie-pants in our bed. On the other hand, we’re still jacking off to freeze frames of her in King Kong where Naomi, as the 21st century’s answer to Fay Wray, goes native and barefoot in the process.

In the original King Kong, Fay has her flimsy ceremonial bride dress peeled away by the giant ape who smells his finger after playing with her stinky, go to the bathroom parts. We’re still holding out for director Peter Jackson to release those scenes of Naomi from his very costly remake but doubt they even exist.

Those certainly would have made for a better movie than four billion dollars worth of blue screen stampeding dinosaurs, that’s for sure. And what did we get for it all? Adrien Brody and his ant eater nose as the love interest.

No offense to Mr. Brody, but he is not a worthy candidate for the affections of our lovely Naomi. Not to say that actor Liev Schreiber is, but we don’t even want to get into the type of forbidden relationships that set the sinful Hollywood standard with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell leading the way. Naomi at one time also dated actor Heath Ledger but there’s little chance of that relationship resurrecting itself.

Naomi’s first role came in the 1986 Australian film For Love Alone. Not to be confused with the Ivana Trump Story released under the same name, or the romantically inspired solo masturbation porn tape also of that title, this crappy movie grossed $193,000 at the box office in the Land Down Under.

According to American box office receipts, seven breakfast patrons from Coco’s paying the senior citizen discount rates went to see the picture.

It wasn’t until 10 years later when Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering featured Naomi as one of those gathered that audiences realized what they had on their hands.

Then came a godawful cinematic lesbo lovefest [remember what we said about Libras?] in the person of David’s Lynch’s bewildering to comprehend Mulholland Drive.

But Naomi’s beauty was in full bloom at this juncture and not even an overrated auteur such as Lynch could spoil the momentum Naomi was creating as a bonafide screen sweetheart.

The film was suspiciously hailed by critics who must have been collectively on weed, and Naomi, as a result, won the National Society of Film Critics Award as Best Actress and the National Board of Review award as Breakthrough Performance of the Year.

In 2004, Naomi received the nomination for the Academy Award’s Best Actress as well as for the SAG Award for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role for the 2003 drama 21 Grams. The point we made about drugs? Point taken.


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