Porn Valley- A crackling fire place and some woman’s ass in your face. What better way to spend the day after Thanksgiving. This is what Buster Good is doing, and that’s what I’m doing, watching Buster doing it.

Ariana Jollee is directing Assploitations #6 for Sin City’s Mayhem line, and Buster’s going to nail Dana Vespoli in her swarthy ass cheeks with Jollee adding a touch of her sexual presence along with her squirt juices to make it all the nastier.

“Her [Vespoli’s] anus is your oyster,” Jim Powers is telling Buster in the pre-pop shot pep talk.

Jollee thinks she’s in love. She’s been seeing a photographer. Her arm bears a series of tats and Powers asks can he read them if he gets bored any time soon. Vespoli, herself, has a poem tattooed on her inner arm. Ariana, who’s frame boasts a brisk ass and strong legs, is proud of the fact that none of the sex scenes in her movies are contrived. She’s binding Vespoli’s ass in a corset of plastic as she’s saying this.

In the scene, Buster’s going to take a light hearted romp through Saran Wrap as he bites his way through to Vespoli’s ass.

Jollee’s shooting some BTS and Vespoli asks if this is the wacky hi-jinx portion of the shoot. Powers suggests that there will also be some Tom foolery involved, as well as a few shenanigans which he trusts will keep happening..”You weren’t just teasing me about peeing in my mouth?” Buster asks Ariana in an aside.

Buster’s got a whole other project facing him this upcoming week. Powers is shooting a reverse bukkake where Buster’s going to have 30 girls pee on him.

But for the moment, Buster’s wearing a non-bukkake ensemble of white jockey shorts, a Bagger Vance golf cap and white sweat socks.

“I like my boys to dress up,” Ariana laughs. As she’s working a substantial toy in Vespoli’s ass, Ariana’s of the opinion that “gay men make the best toys”.

Powers, thumbing through the sports section of the LA Times, thinks now’s a good time to think about ordering lunch, that barbecue would probably be a good idea. Buster, in his golf cap and white jockeys, wants in on this, especially the onion rings. Buster loves onion rings. Except the barbecue place is closed and Powers suggests, well, it looks like Jerry’s Deli down the street.

While coleslaw decisions are being made, Buster asks Ariana if she could, maybe spit in his mouth.

During the scene, as Buster’s popping Vespoli in the ass, Ariana comments aloud, “That’s so hot, it’s wrong.”

Ariana had joined in to make it a Buster threeway. You figure when Clint Eastwood directs, he participates in his own jail breaks, so why shouldn’t Ariana.

“Take your time with that thing- it ain’t going anywhere,” Ariana instructs Buster as he breaches Vespoli’s shithole. Vespoli is having the shakes from Buster’s dick going in her. When Buster pulls his dick out, Ariana wraps her lips around it. Vespoli wants to know what it tastes like.

“Blueberries,” Jollee tells her.

“Are you serious?” Vespoli asks.

Ariana makes a deal with Buster- he comes all over Vespoli’s face and she’ll spray in his mouth. This is a good deal, says Buster, by now sweating so much the tattoos on his back are ready to slide off.

Powers and Good grew up in the same circles in the Valley. And this fact has got Powers reminiscing all day about high school truancy and those who practiced it. At one point Buster is telling Powers he seems kind of melancholy what with all the stories coming out.

“I’m reading the fuckin’ sports page, Buster,” Powers is explaining to him.

Yeah, I’m particularly melancholy over the Jack Hammer story Powers is telling – about the time Hammer shit himself.

The fact, says Powers, is that Hammer was always shitting himself because he was so jacked up on steroids. There was one time when Hammer- and this is before any of them are in porn- is off in the bathroom. Powers is trying to figure what the fuck happened to him. Finally Hammer comes out of there reeking of cologne.

He tells Powers he just sprayed his balls with cologne and his nuts are stinging. Powers is wondering why a man would spray his nuts. The reasons for Hammer doing this are more obvious when he gets in the car with this girl, and Powers is in the back seat. Hammer’s getting a blowjob and the aroma of shit from Hammer having crapped himself earlier fills the car.

Buster was basically doing the same thing as Hammer earlier this month. His trip to Costa Rica got cancelled at the literal last minute. Except the producer of the venture, which would have had Good out of the country for about three weeks fucking all kinds of exotic Columbian women, never bother to tell him this. He left it up to Rod Fontana.

Fontana e-mailed Good the night before Buster was supposed to show up at the airport, saying, basically, not to bother showing up. Good was pissed. Really pissed. He called the producer, and the producer said, oh, didn’t Rod Fontana call you.

After making all kinds of elaborate arrangements for his departure, Good discovers the cancellation by accident. He called Johnny Thrust thanking him for a booking but explained that he’d be out of the country.

Thrust tells Good he heard the shoot was cancelled. Except no one from the Costa Rica trip ever bothered to inform Buster. Buster’s saying he could be bad but would never go off like Jack Hammer.

Buster remembers being kicked out of Gold’s Gym in Venice for getting into an altercation with another bodybuilder over alternate dumbbell curls. Buster figures, okay, he and the other guy are going to settle this in an alley or something but the other guy runs to management like it was his momma.

Powers says Jack Hammer’s under the impression that he’s going to be out of jail in seven months. Buster thinks maybe this time Jack will straighten out.

“He likes jail, Buster,” Powers informs Good. “The only thing he likes more than fighting is a good butt fucking.” Powers is laughing. Apparently he told Eddie Charisma on another occasion that he had to jack off Buster during a sex scene. Charisma bought the story.

Long before the scene’s ready to shoot, Buster pulled out his dick and told Powers he was ready for his closeup.

“Jim, I have a hard penis- we should be taking advantage.”

Powers says he’s just the cameraman here- take it to Ariana. In an unscripted moment, Buster begins sticking it in Vespoli’s ass over a kitchen counter top. Vespoli nonchalantly asks me how my Thanksgiving was. Evidently not as good as her day after is.

“I’m all about efficiency,” Vespoli explains, as Buster continues to widen a path in her ass. Vespoli believes in the real thing as opposed to a warm-up butt plug. Buster and Dana continue to chatter as he fucks her in the ass. Vespoli mentions that she’s from the Bay area.

Really? asks Buster as he proceeds with a story about the time he hitchhiked up there and snuck into a class on Socialism at Berkeley. As the professor was lecturing, Buster raised his hand and told the class they should all listen to Pink Floyd’s The Wall.

“The looks I got,” Good says.

Buster asks Vespoli what other things turns her on. Vespoli says she likes being spanked, licked and called a dirty cunt

Powers remembers when Buster first got into the porn business.

“You were the king of corn rows,” Powers recalls. Buster likes to talk about his druggie days and how fucked up he was on heroin before he got his act together 17 years ago. Buster’s saying this as he’s grooving on the crackling fire. Vespoli asks Buster if he’s stoned. Buster shakes his head.

“Meth,” he explains. “You do drugs, you got to do them right,” Buster adds.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” replies Vespoli, laughing. She asks Powers if he also does drugs. Powers is, like, get the fuck outta here.

“Don’t all you guys in Calabasas do them?” she wants to know.

In another conversation, Powers asks me if I remember Stevie Strange. Strange, a trust fund baby with an apparent addiction to hookers, used to hang around the business but is in Czech now. According to Powers, Strange shot a movie over there which took him two years to make. He sent Powers a copy of it. And Powers is showing me portions of something Strange titled Too Sexy for You, commenting that the girl in the first scene is really pretty if not for the venereal warts.

“You’d think she’d have them burned off,” says Powers who also seems to think that Strange fell in love with one of his hooker-friends and is setting her on the straight and narrow.

Which is obviously not the case with Cindy Crawford. Powers says Cindy had always been his favorite porn star because “she is such an idiot”. But Crawford seems to think that Powers is a scumbag, as well, because he was trying to get her to do scenes “below her ethics”. Powers swears this is the way she put it.

They had a conversation, and Crawford told him she was going to direct movies for this one company and revolutionize porn. Powers seems to think she was talking about Defiance.

Powers wanted to shoot her for Coast to Coast, but Crawford turned the gig down as too demeaning. But when Coast to Coast learned that she was sucking tranny dick, they sent her a sarcastic message wishing Cindy well in her new career. Powers also remembers in his conversation with Crawford telling him that the stuff she was directing would be banned in 40 countries.

Powers asked how, but she wouldn’t tell him, claiming that Powers would only steal her ideas. Powers told Crawford if the stuff was going to be banned he certainly didn’t want parts of it. The irony in all of this, laughs Powers, is the fact that Cindy’s nominated for Best Actress in a movie he directed.

Then, if you get Powers on the subject of Ava Ramone, he goes off to a dark place.

“She’s a useless cunt, Powers mutters.

Powers was shooting a blow job competition, and in an incident that probably needs more amplification, Davia Ardell allegedly held a knife to Ema Redd’s neck. Powers wasn’t sure of all the details, but Redd, apparently, had Ardell kicked off the set. Ramone was the replacement. Powers explains that Ramone is a true whore in the sense that she serves up sex a la carte, that she wants extra for this, extra for that.

“I didn’t know how bad she truly was until that blowjob competition,” Powers says, that Ramone wouldn’t even touch a guy’s dick unless business negotiations are involved.

“She’s the kind of girl who wants extra to lick balls.”

After his scene with Vespoli and Jollee, Buster’s working a good clip at his chicken sandwich and matzoh ball soup. He’s telling Powers there was a time when he had very few tapes in his porn collection.

“The only porn I had was Sharon Mitchell on VHS,” says Buster.

“She’s been on stronger stuff,” I suggest.

Powers is blowing coleslaw out his nose on that one.