Porn Valley- Before all the Luke-Albo drama went down this week at Star World Modeling, www.starworldmodeling.com, Rob Spallone gets a phone call from a business associate. The business associate says he’s been thinking about him and Spallone goes why is that.

The business associate explains that the day before he was riding his horse. All of a sudden the horse goes out from under him. Dies from a heart attack. In the best traditions of golf- playing it where it lies- the horse is buried on the spot. They dug a hole for it. And the associate says the dead horse incident reminds him of Spallone.

Of course this ain’t the Godfather, but not one to kick a dead horse, Spallone’s confronting the issue of shooting a couple more MILF movies. Every time out, Spallone tries for an edge- not always in the best of taste, sometimes- and one of Spallone’s latest flashes is to dress the MILF’s up like bag ladies.

“Where do I come up with this?” he laughs to himself.

If bag ladies were the only concept brought to this movie it wouldn’t be too difficult to pull off. But Spallone’s MILF’s also got to be hairy and over the age of 40. Hairier than a 70’s porn star without a shaving kit and older than some of those porn forum discussion topics.

Spallone says he just got the word on this hairy business. Now he’s got to tell all his girls- don’t shave, don’t trim and hope they look like Harry Reems, www.xxxdeepthroat.com in a week and a half.

“What am I, a magician?” Spallone mutters. Spallone gets another call- this time from Nina, a woman he recruited a couple of weeks ago.

“How hairy are you down there?” Spallone asks, skipping the fineries of conversation. He begins asking Nina about how often she shaves or does she. He wants her to be ready for this shoot.

“Do not touch your underarms or anything,” Spallone advises her.

Nina asks if he’s kidding. Silly question.

Spallone gets another call- this from a MILF who calls herself Sandy Beach. Spallone, like myself, first thinks this is Sandy Beach who came into the business a couple of years ago. But it isn’t. This Sandy Beach is from Lake Tahoe and has just flown into town. She’s on her way to Spallone’s to see him and needs directions. She’s calling from Vineland and Moorpark. Spallone asks how she wound up there since he’s in the Valley and that’s North Hollywood. Map Quest, she says. But Beach later indicates that she was scouting out that area because she had a shoot to do there on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, Leah, Spallone’s babe, brings back some lunch from a local deli. Spallone had given her a $100 bill and asks for change. Leah says there isn’t any. She brings back a salad, a sandwich, an order of spaghetti and a carton of cigarettes. You can see Spallone adding up figures in his head.

“This $8 cigarette tastes no different,” says Spallone somewhat saecastically, drawing on a Newport. He’s already dropped that insane 10-day cleanser diet from last week where he was chugging what looked like bottles of bong water with a cayenne pepper chaser. And he’s, obviously, smoking again.

“I was going nuts,” he admits. “I couldn’t last on that diet.”

Leah then gives him a scrap of paper with a phone number.

“What’s this?” Spallone asks. Leah says it’s the number of some guy with a big dick- that the guy over the deli gave it to her.

Spallone is amused to ponder how this situation developed, imagining that the guy with the big dick must have taken a piss over the side of a boat and the deli guy had probably seen him doing it.

Sandy Beach finally makes it in and is offered a caffeinated drink. Beach politely refuses, stating that LA freeway traffic was enough to get her hyped up. Beach is very detail-oriented, very organized and lugs 40 double D’s which she bought a couple of years ago.

Beach started in the business about a year ago, first doing some webcam stuff before coming to LA. At the age of 18 she didn’t even know that porn presented options to her, she says.

“I went to college and got a degree,” she mentions. Before she got into porn Beach was doing interior design and recently studied to get a license in real estate sales.

“I’m going to put the two together by buying my own property, fixing it up and trying to sell it for profit,” she says.

Obviously she’s not coming into porn for the money. Beach says it’s more, “For the fuck of it.” Beach explains that she discovered that sexual side to herself in her Thirties.

“It just kind of took off,” she adds. “I’m married now and he can’t keep up with me. My husband actually suggested it.”

Because Beach didn’t know who to contact she just began googling en masse.

“I searched and searched and started with people close by my home,” she says. Beach loves to travel and gets that from being a Navy brat when she was younger.

Porn she says is also a great way of meeting new people.

“That’s the best part for me,” Beach adds, noting that she’s also a swinger.

Beach says she takes her porn name from the fact that it’s her retirement plan.

“I traveled to Mexico to study I call it retirement-research,” she explains. “I go to different towns each time so that I can see where I want to buy a piece of ocean front. Then I’m going to open a bar and have my house there.”

As a kid, Beach would move every two years and went to lots of different countries. She admits she never got really settled. Even now. I suggest that people with wanderlust find it hard settling down. On the contrary, says Beach, she loves being married.

The first time she had sex she was 16, and her sister walked in on her.

“It was in my parents’ home in Chico, California,” she recalls. “We were upstairs. He climbed up a rose bush trellis. He came in all scratched up, and he climbed through the window. We had decided that day at school we were going to go for it. That was our plan.”

The plan lasted all of four minutes when Beach heard her sister approach and the guy cleared the decks [in Navy parlance]and hid under the bed.

“I’m laying there and she sat on the bed and started talking to me,” Beach continues. “She started talking to me but found a wallet and comb she knew were not mine. She picked them up, held them and looked at me. My face must have been beet red because she just put it down, and walked out. Then he went back out the window and down the rose trellis.”

Beach’s parents now live in the same town she does but she’s not talking to them about her present occupation.

“Which is why I seek work elsewhere,” she notes. Sexually, Beach enjoys anal but can’t do it right now, she says, but won’t get too specific about the details.

“I had a bit of a medical procedure,” she laughs. “It’s off limits at the moment or you’ll never touch me again.”

She learned to like anal about three or four years ago, and orgasms from it.

“We [she and her husband] tried it- we started with fingers, then toys and progressed from there,” she notes.