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Bong Load Girls, Directed by Rob Rotten, a review

Be warned. The secondary smoke coming out of your TV screen may get you higher than Paul Thomas in the Deeper Throat reality series from Showtime.

That’s because Rob Rotten, himself no stranger to the high, has produced and directed a movie titled Bong Load Girls which is scheduled to come out 4/20. What a coincidence.

And with a project titled like that, it only seems fair to be-knight Rotten as the Joe Francis of cannabis. Besides that, Rotten has put his money where his mouth is and funded this shoot through his company Punx Pictures. Which probably explains how he got away with a few things.

Some of what you see is arguably derivative, yes, but Rotten adds touches and sandpapers the edges to put his unique stamp to where it almost becomes a Monty Python meets Frank Zappa adult movie with plenty of hemp-assisted visuals. Rotten has obviously gone astral on mere ingenuity.

In his introduction, Rotten also borrows straight out of the Rodriguez/Tarantino Grindhouse project with some 16mm gimmickry. With a viewer advisory, Rotten preaches about how drugs are bad and how he doesn’t condone them.

“These are actors and professionals working in a controlled and safe environment,” continues Rotten while the viewer’s practically choking on a bong load of irony before things even get under way.

From here, the movie becomes peculiarly reminiscent and evocative of all those wonderfully silly, psychotic, acid head trip flicks of the late Sixties and early Seventies. So you might want to thank both Rotten and Timothy Leary for the fact that he strays somewhat from the porn norm. It’s a welcome respite.

And you’ll see exactly what that means when Rotten puts his spin on an opening masturbation sequence featuring Ruby Knox. My first impression was, “holy shit, this looks like something I saw in the movies last week,” but I wouldn’t insult Rotten by comparing it to that Nicholas Cage piece of crap called Knowing.

Knox is seen walking in a field of clover. There are railroad tracks. And we all know that porn chicks walking along said tracks are being symbolically wayward and escaping a miserable home life. At least that’s what Orson Welles told me one time over cigars and brandy.

In this impressive shot sequence which also incorporates some Andrew Blake stylization, there’s also an abandoned caboose [a cinematic reference to anal?], and an abandoned truck. Obviously the theme is abandonment. Then throw in a couple of lonely Chevys, lakes, homes, a shack with a lock on the door and Knox checking out the Golden Gate Bridge which isn’t abandoned because there’s a helicopter over head.

With Knox lighting up a statement making cigarette, this is far from your ordinary female jacking off visual especially when Knox continues her walk through some famous Haight Hippie landmarks with some pretty talented graffiti renderings on view.

I also got a feeling either Rotten or Tony Tedeschi saw True Romance because Tedeschi is doing Brad Pitt’s stoner character. Tedeschi’s lungs are practically consuming a gallon of bong water about the time when Jeanie Marie, with auburn locks, walks into the room. Tony’s first thought, if he’s capable of one, is that Jeanie’s the pizza girl, but he would be wrong.

She’s looking for someone to get high with and sex becomes part of the high. Before she’s locked into a devil’s side saddle, Jeanie embraces the essence of balls much like what that Sara chick is ranting about in the Deep Throat reality show.

Note: Rotten’s sense of pacing throughout is very much like Seventies porn. Positions change briskly, are aggressive and scenes don’t become efforts to hypnotize viewers into attempts at suicide. The punch line of this scene is that Shane Sawitz is the pizza man and Tedeschi warns him about stepping in the splooge.

Kat’s next calling the marijuana hotline to place her order. A lava lamp seems to be playing with her head as Rotten shows up with what appears to be a weed home remedy kit [not to cure it, but employ it]. Rob, an art gallery in his own right when it comes to tats, partakes of some labia, rams Kat in a jackknife, then flips her into some doggie.

The very pretty Jaime Elle next wonders if it’s the creepy neighbor from next door [Johnny Thrust], who’s paying a call. Thrust must have borrowed his dreads from Gary Oldman [also from True Romance], insisting he’s a Ganja man. Jaime’s not necessarily buying the story, but the matter becomes mute when she spreads her lovely legs for some Rastaman vibration then takes it between her titties.

Scarlett Pain with a sleeve tattoo along with guns, garlands, hearts and other body art is hoping that Rotten would come over. Though Pain is tattooed for bear, she reconciles herself to the fact that she’ll do the sex job herself. But Scarlett smokes herself silly and takes a trip to Jupiter with a bong dildo while she trips out over a vision of Kaylee Lovecox and Daisy Tanks rimming, salad tossing, having dildo sex and otherwise testing the elasticity of each other’s pudenda. They’re smoking, everyone’s smoking.

It’s a smoked out lesbo fest with Rotten finishing the hetero portion of the job when Pain, still blasted, shakes somewhat out of her reverie.


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