Brooklyn Lee writes on www.absolutbrooklyn.tumblr.com/ – Rob, I first thought you were just being an asshole, but it’s becoming increasingly more evident that you’re indeed (criminally) insane.

This new claim that I somehow tricked you into casting me in your movie by pretending to have the appropriate hair color is preposterous. In what land of delusion must a person reside to sashay onto a set wearing a bright magenta wig and think no one would notice? Apparently the same place you call home.

It was made explicitly clear when we were to begin shooting that I no longer had the necessary hair color, and that I would furnish a wig to match my character. To suggest that you were in the dark about this development only adds to your long list of fairy tales.

As for your claim that you don’t shoot actors wearing wigs, and that everything “has to be natural”…how do you then explain the fact that two of your other main characters wore them in the film? Was this too part of my trickery? Wow! I really pulled the wool over your eyes! I’m a devious little bugger, aren’t I?

[EXHIBIT A. Chanel Preston, wearing a wig to match her character in Birds of Prey.]

[EXHIBIT B. Lizzy Borden, wearing a wig to match her character in Birds of Prey.]

[EXHIBIT C. Me, wearing a wig to match my character in Bids of Prey.]

Nope. I think the more logical explanation is that you’re, yet again, lying through your meth-cracked teeth. How very typical of you, Rob.

Regarding the suggestion of your little pal Gene Ross, that I don’t respect my elders and am somehow less “classy” than your wife…or whatever he said…

I give respect where respect is due. Forgive me, but I don’t consider shooting simulated rape and forced vomiting; appearing on the cover of a couple obscure wrestling mags, and snagging photo-ops with George Clooney worthy of my undying admiration, or something I should aspire to.

Sure, I grabbed a photo with the ex-pres…anyone would have. However, this certainly isn’t my claim to “fame,” nor do I purport to be a “visionary” for having been incarcerated for shooting garbage.

I’m a firm believer in freedom of expression. I do not, however, believe that tangoing with the law and losing makes one a de facto hero and champion of human rights. If this is the biggest claim to “fame” either of you have, I think I’m doing just fine by comparison.

I will continue to reserve my respect and admiration for the true pioneers; those who have impacted the industry (and the world as a whole) positively, even in the face of adversity. This category includes my dear friend Mr. John Stagliano. Neither you, Mr. Black, nor your trollop, belong anywhere on that list.

Of course you’ll continue to fabricate your little stories. At this point, I’m sure you’re out of any material that in any way relates to reality, thus, anything you have to say further will be pulled entirely from the ether.

I will no longer engage. Attempting to whap you upside the head with a jolt of lucidity is a fool’s errand. And quite frankly, I’m bored.

Checkmate. The end. I win.

P.S. I saw the makeup artist from Birds of Prey on a set the other day. She said you STILL owe her a couple grand. Pay up you septic scrotum! The lady has a fucking kid!