And you thought Dennis Hof and Steve Seidman were something last night.
Abbott & Costello are famous for the Who’s on First Comedy routine. But nothing could beat the gummed up, intractable exchange between Cytherea and Darien Ross later that night on KSEX.
Chef Jeff made some comments recently that he had second thoughts about doing business with Ross- i.e., creating a website for her – partly because of a hotel bill she allegedly skipped on. Ross called in with her side of the story. And if you don’t have a headache now, you might have one after trying to piece together what happened and what prompted Cytherea’s threats to kill Ross.
Ross is back in Chicago and there for at least the holidays she told Jeff. She also told him about a dance gig she has at Centerfolds in Columbus, Ohio and that she hopes to come out to L.A. after the AEE. After the preliminaries, Chef went into the hotel episode which occurred at an Extended Stay. Jeff said they were in the car when Ross got a phone call that broke her into tears. That’s when Ross explained that there was a mistake made on the amount that she supposedly owed the hotel.
“I went to pay the bill and didn’t have enough because it was more than it was supposed to be,” she said. Ross thought the bill would be something around $150 and it was for $320. She claims she didn’t owe that much money. Ross also said she hadn’t had a chance to straighten the bill out when she was getting phone calls from people who were upset, Cytherea in particular.
That’s when Cytherea, who was in the KSEX studios, jumped into the conversation. Cytherea said she got a call from the hotel manager and, at that point, both women began talking over one another. Cytherea said she was told Ross’ bill was her responsibility.
“They said if you didn’t pay it, we had to. You are our responsibility. We told you that.” Then Cytherea took her voice to the next octave cutting crystal chandeliers in the process, claiming the hotel manager told her that Ross skipped out. “You skipped out. Plain and fuckin’ simple. He told you how much it fuckin’ was. You’re just a fuckin’ whore who can’t pay a bill!” she continued to scream.
Cytherea claims the only reason Ross even contributed something to the bill was that Cytherea would have ruined her career for it and that Cytherea and her man kept badgering her about it. Ross’ reply was that whoever Cytherea was talking to, someone named Margaret, was running a scam. Calling Ross a retard, Cytherea said that Margaret’s not even the manager. “She’s just the bitch that calls up and says you owe us money!” On the other hand, Cytherea said she’s talked to all the managers and they all agreed with her that Ross skipped out.
Asked by Jeff who’s name the room was in, Ross claims it was in hers. But Cytherea was maintaining that she, Cytherea, was responsible for it. Ross said, no, that she has copies of bills to prove otherwise. Trying to explain the framus, Jeff said he was told by Cytherea that they were partying and decided to get a room. What makes the situation bewildering is the fact that Ross is claiming they switched rooms the following day. “We switched it into my room under my name.” But Cytherea countered by saying it was under her name, not Ross’. “It wasn’t. It was still under my name,” said Cytherea. “It was my responsibility.” But Ross is claiming she has a hotel bill with her name on it whereas Cytherea’s also claiming she has a hotel bill with her name on it, too.
In Ross’ defense, Jeff explained that she went back the next day to pay the bill. Ross, on the other hand, is claiming she talked to the manager the next day and was told she didn’t owe that much money. “She made a mistake.”
Ross said she wound up paying “Seventy-some” dollars. Cytherea claims she also told Ross before she left to put $25 on the room because Ross owed it to them. “And you didn’t even do it! You had to wait until you came back and paid it! You didn’t put the $25 on our account! You’re a lying bitch. That’s all there’s to it.”
Another whimsical turn in the conversation came when Cytherea claimed that Ross had kicked her man, Brian, in the balls. “I swear to God, bitch I will fucking kill you. You’re lucky I was asleep.” Cytherea warned Ross that if she kicks her man in the balls one more time, she was going to get kicked in the head.
Jeff asked Cytherea if that was true, and Cytherea painted some obscure, motel room portrait involving Lani Kahlua and of Ross kicking “Bubba” in the balls, Bubba being Brian. Ross protested that she didn’t kick Bubba in the balls. That’s when Cytherea told Jeff to hang up on Ross. In fairness, Jeff asked Ross to e-mail him with a rundown to give her side of the story and that he would post it. Ross said she would also send a copy of the bill.
After Ross hung up, Cytherea turned on Jeff asking why he was being so nice to her. “You know she’s an ugly bitch; you don’t want to have her. You don’t want to start her website, you fuckin’ puss! You backed out!” Jeff said he didn’t have a chance to get involved in the proceedings because of Cytherea’s screaming and yelling. Cytherea said what pisses her off about the whole episode is that she was being nice to Ross when she was in town. “And she was just a crazy fuckin’ bitch. She shouldn’t even be in porn. She’s too fuckin’ old.”
Jeff then quoted me describing Ross as a 38 year-old juvenile, which is true. Cytherea agreed. “That’s exactly what she is.” Jeff said you can’t go into business with someone that unstable.