Porn Valley- In lieu of Gauge who was dancing topless at a garage sale in Tennessee, according to Quasarman, Tina Tyler served as CoHo on the Distorted Reality show Friday night on KSEX. Daphne Rosen www.daphnerosen.com who is repped by Mark Speigler was also a guest.

The mention of Speigler’s name, of course, prompted Quasarman’s Speigler impersonations throughout the show. Quasarman refers to Speigler as “The Shylock” and noted that both he and Rosen are of the Jewish persuasion. Tyler observed Rosen’s status as a female Jewish porn star to be an anomaly in the business.

“Because most of the people in this business are male Jewish scumbags,” Quasarman noted. “I’m kidding.” Quasarman said he was talking more about people behind the scenes. Tyler said Herschel Savage was a male Jewish porn star and Quasarman stood behind his earlier statement.

Vying for different adjectives to describe Rosen’s breasts, Quasarman came up with “robust” but decided that was more applicable to a cup of coffee. The word pendulous was settled on, not that Rosen’s breasts chime at 12 o’clock, Quasarman noted. “But they’re not a tennis ball in tube sock. They are not a balling ball in a knit stocking.”

Although Tyler and Quasarman have known one another for about ten years, it was observed how she mistook him for Tom Byron a couple of weeks ago. “You would think that she would have a passing memory of who I am.”

Quasarman, from Toronto, however, was also surprised to learn that Tyler like himself was Canadian. Tyler said she grew up on Vancouver Island.

Tyler has been in retirement for awhile and is now working in the adult industry again. Quasarman likened it to be like Ross Perot. “You’re in the race, you’re out of the race, you jump back in.” Tyler said there were “a plethora” of reasons why she came back.

“For the most part I wasn’t getting enough sex off camera,” she claims. “I couldn’t get laid to save my life. I guess I’m not going to get laid until a director yells action.” Asked what a guy would have to do to bed someone like her, Tyler said it depended on the situation. “It also depends on my mood because I’m a Cancer which means I’m a moody old broad.” Quasarman said he’s also a Cancer and has been observed by his wife to being bipolar.

“Frequently she thinks it would be best if we went our separate ways.”

Tyler said the one thing that will give a guy a shot at some bed time is making her laugh. Tyler said she’s had her share of less than average looking men. “They entertain me; they keep me smiling. Women love to smile.”

Quasarman was under the impression that women would prefer to be ravaged by a buff stud with an enormous penis. Tyler said the penis-part was true but has never been into the buff, pretty boy look. “I think I’m the only woman on the planet that doesn’t think that Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt are the hottest things on earth.”

Tyler said her tastes run more to Steve Buscemi and James Gandolfini. “Like interesting people. You look into their eyes and know a lot’s going on there.”

In her comeback tour, Tyler has done two scenes so far. One is a bi-movie for Adam & Eve called No Labels, Please. Tyler believes it’s the company’s first foray into the bisexual genre. Her second scene was something she shot last week for Tony English and the brand new Playgirl Channel. Tyler worked with Joey Ray for the first time. “A great body, though.” Quasarman observed that Ray wasn’t all that hung. “I don’t think a very handsome man should also have a giant cock. I think that’s just God being cruel.”

To illustrate, Quasarman said he’s been shooting a British performer named Steve Hooper. “He used to be an underwear model. He’s mid-Thirtyish; he has no body fat to speak of. Plus he also has a charming personality. He’ll regale you with some tale that will make you chuckle. Then he gets ready for the scene, drops his pants and some gigantic cock comes out like Anaconda. Very scary. Very big for a white man.” The thing that also caught Quasarman’s attention was Hooper mentioning that he had been in law school. “This is the first time in the history of pornography that anybody’s ever uttered the phrase, ‘when I was in law school’ on a porn set. That should have been etched on a plaque somewhere.”

Quasarman said Hooper seems to be so perfect that he must be harboring a deep dark secret like fascination with marine life. “Something’s got to be wrong with him. God couldn’t possibly be that cruel to make one guy and give him all that.”

Tyler also admitted that she enjoys men who enjoys men. “But I wouldn’t want to make a steady diet of it.” Tyler said she wouldn’t necessarily go for someone who’s openly bisexual in her personal life. “That would be too much. It’s nice to have a dessert every now and then.” That and the fact that she’d have to share them with men with who own Yorkshire Terriers, Quasarman added.

Quasarman mentioned that he had shot Rosen in a movie for Zero Tolerance titled Double Decker Sandwich Volume 4. “It’s a continuing saga of women with pendulous breasts.” Rosen said hers are for real.

Tyler said she met Rosen on a set where she was having sex with Alex Sanders. Quasarman said while Sanders is a very nice fellow from all reports, “I suspect from what I’m hearing that he may be reaching a stage in his career where he’s just very disgruntled.” Tyler agreed, noting that Sanders was the supreme people-pleaser at the beginning of his career and now seems to be disgruntled.

“He’s an angry man,” Quasarman suspected. “At least he gets to ejaculate on strangers.”

Asked why she was in the business, Rosen who was born in Tel Aviv, said she loves sex and is an exhibitionist. “What better way to put yourself through grad school and get your Ph.D?” Quasarman said it was nice to see a woman having aspirations other than doing a triple anal by year’s end or working on the next pharmaceutical purchase. Rosen plans on getting a Ph.D in psychology and having her own porn business.

Asked if she was the recipient of poorly aimed cum shots in her ocular cavity, Rosen said only in in instance when it was meant to go in the eye. “Not much got in.” Rosen said it was for The Pink Eye series and Quasarman said a bit sarcastically, that it was an incredibly wonderful idea. Rosen said the worst so far has been getting it in the hair.Quasarman said it would never occur to him to deliberately cum in a girl’s eye and make her experience pain. But Rosen acknowledged there are fetishes out there, that being one. Quasarman said the cream pies sell the best for Zero Tolerance though he’s thankful he doesn’t have to shoot them, although Rosen couldn’t speak on behalf of the pink eye genre. Quasarman suspected the company might have that whole market cornered. “But I wouldn’t want to meet the person that has the frequent renter card.”

Before coming to California in September, Rosen said she had been living in Boston since the age of two and went to Amherst. “I did my whole life in Massachusetts.” Asked how she hooked up with Speigler, Rosen said she had been in the business off and on about three years, having done some things in Massachusetts for her website. She was shooting a movie out here. “He met us for lunch. He knew who I was, knew who my cousin [Becky Abrams] was. I was very impressed by that.” Rosen then asked Speigler if he would represent her. Rosen also does anal.

With cans like hers, Quasarman assumed that Rosen was quite popular in high school. Rosen said she wore big sweat shirts that she was self-conscious. Tyler sympathized noting that she herself had started sprouting boobs by age 11. Rosen said she shares the same taste in men as Tyler, particularly guys that can make her laugh. They both agreed that Jon Stewart is hot.