Porn Valley- Director DCypher was a guest on KSEX Tuesday night exchanging barbs and banter with Steven St. Croix. Earlier in the show, St. Croix was explaining how his car got towed out of a parking lot in Van Nuys and that it cost him $226 to rescue it from the impound.

“I’m a very poor substitute for Taryn Thomas,” Cypher acknowledged later when the hyperactive portion of the repartee calmed down. A poor substitute, especially since he doesn’t do anal, St. Croix pointed out. St. Croix has worked for DCypher a number of occasions noting all the fun times they’ve had on the set.

“That’s because I let you block your own scenes,” Cypher said. “As of today I’m officially a two-hit wonder.” He mentioned that his new movie, Wonderland, starring St. Croix, had just come out.

“Not to be confused with the Val Kilmer movie,” St. Croix pointed out. “Wonderland has gotten some great reviews and it’s released by Metro-Cal Vista.” It’s also shot in Hi-Def.

“I wanted to do something that was a little off from what I’ve done before,” explained Cypher. “Steven St. Croix plays a businessmen who’s kind of at the crossroads. He’s a family man- he takes care of his wife and his daughter and does the whole responsibility-thing. And he basically falls into the clutches of a Lolita-type character. There’s a little element of Nabokov but also Poison Ivy with Dru Barrymore. The story’s told in these little flashbacks from three different perspectives.” Violet Blue, according to Cypher, plays a hooker paying her way through school by fucking older men. She seduces St. Croix who loses his moral compass.

“He’s kind of in a midlife crisis where his desires lead in down a path,” Cypher continued. “He ends up paying the ultimate price. He has to give up his wife, his friends, his family, everything for this illicit affair. But it’s worth it to him because he gets to fuck this hot young chick.”

Instead of writing a story about a pizza delivery guy, St. Croix asked him why he had to go so deep and dark with the movie.

“Because I already wrote that story for Andre Madness in Illegal Tender,” Cypher replied. “I had to move on to something new. But the real challenge was getting the people in the movie to recite Shakespeare and get the lines right. That was kind of a nightmare.”

Thankfully, St. Croix said, he didn’t have to do that; but Cypher told him he did whether he realized it or not.

“I thought it was just excellent fucking writing on your part,” St. Croix quipped.

“I wish I was that good,” said Cypher, thinking that it would have been an interesting element to add to the story.

“Some people thought it was pretentious; some people thought it was cool as hell,” Cypher went on to say. St. Croix suspected that those who would think it pretentious just want low brow porn entertainment.

“I’ve been accused of the same thing,” said St. Croix, noting that he directed a feature years ago for Vivid that was a take off on Manhunter.

“Somebody in New York had sent a letter to Vivid going what is it with this fucking crap that you’re putting out?” St. Croix related. “Why don’t you go fucking direct for CBS or something? This isn’t porn.”

“I feel that in the feature market, people who want to see this type of thing, they’re interested in having some congruent storyline better than the pizza delivery guy,” Cypher thought.

“There are people buying this domestic hardcore- not just people trapped in hotel rooms high as a kite, who have to watch it and can’t fast-forward. There are people going out and buying the domestic product because they specifically like a storyline with their sex. You always start out with the idea that sex comes first, trying to make something as hot as you can and getting the best-looking people that you can to be in the movie. And from there we try to add some extra element.”

Cypher then mentioned the infamous St. Croix “bunny killer” scene in Wonderland.

“What happened is that you were having sex with Violet Blue,” he told St.Croix. “It’s supposed to be a junior college-y kind of school play kind of stage. She’s dressed up like a woodland nymph, a fairy, what have you. And so we had these plywood cutouts that were painted of a deer and a bunny and whatever else. By the end of the scene, you pull out and you blast her. And when you do the pop- the thing that I found so impressive- is that you shot something 10 feet right up and over her head. And you hit one of the woodland creatures on the stage, and you hit the bunny and knocked it down. At that point everyone on my crew was holding their face trying not to laugh. We describe this as the infamous Steven St. Croix bunny killer scene.”

St. Croix said if he only killed a bunny it probably would have been a good thing.

“Because I really wanted to kill Violet Blue that day,” he added. “She was real difficult to do the scene with.”

Cypher said it was a long shoot but came out really well. Watching parts of the scene, St. Croix thinks a move has to be made in porn to bring hair back on a pussy.

“I’m so tired of these shaved little fucking beavers that look like shotgun holes,” he said. “Bring hair back.” Not remembering if the scene was anal or not, St. Croix asked and Cypher said it wasn’t.

“The way things were going she probably would have crapped on you that day,” Cypher told him. “We were just off for a minute.” St. Croix said he had an anal scene the other day and his cock looked like it had golden mustard on it.

“I ran to the shower- it’s the smell that kills you,” said St. Croix. “You can breathe through your mouth and chew gum. But every now and then, aaaaaaaaaaaargh!” St. Croix said it was so bad the crew was smoking cloves on the set.

“But there are some girls where anal scenes are just phenomenal- like Harmony,” St. Croix continued. “I love fucking her in the ass- that girl’s as clean as a whistle. She’s beautiful.”

“When’s the last time you fucked a whistle?” Cypher asked him. St. Croix imagined it was the tryouts for the LA Lakers cheerleaders.

“Or the KSEX Olympics,” said Cypher who then talked about how he got into the business when St. Croix brought the subject up.

“Believe it or not no one’s asked me that interview question,” he said. “Years ago I graduated UCLA. I had no money. And I had all these student loans. One of my friends got me into production in Hollywood. That sucked and I hated it. I was gone all the time and I was miserable. As one of my gigs that I was doing in school, I was doing bondage performances and fire breathing at niteclubs. This guy that I worked with, he got hired my Matt Zane to do bondage movies and started fucking on film. I had no money. I had no job. I graduated college and went on a drug binge. I was very proud of that. [He was being sarcastic.]

“I was going to wade out the summer and try to get emergency credentialing and teach high school or something. What ended up happening was, I was working for him, and Matt Zane said you really seem like you know what you’re doing why don’t you run my whole company. I started doing all this production and making $2400 a month to do everything and working 80 hours a week. But I thought it was cool at the time.

“With a liberal arts degree what are you going to do with it?” asked Cypher who majored in English Literature. After a year of working at Zane in production, Cypher left to work for Jonathan Morgan at Wicked.

“That didn’t really go anywhere,” he said. “Nice guy but there wasn’t enough for me to do to keep me busy. Then I had the luxury of working for Chuck Martino when he was with Sin City.”

St. Croix roared.

“I got a first hand education – they could never teach me in college,” Cypher continued, “about what happens when you mix homemade crack with Xanax, watching him go down the toilet. Things progressed from there. I did production about 6 1/2 years. I quit and started getting into P.R. for Sin City and freelance. But what happened was I had a script I really wanted to shoot called Prisoner that I had given to Michael Raven because I had written about 200 scripts for this business that have been shot.”

“That’s halfway- Cash Markman’s written 500,” St. Croix noted.

“I’m a quarter of way to Fozi,” Cypher said dryly.

“Oh yeah, Fozi, another great script…”St. Croix started to say.

Cypher had given the script to Raven to shoot for Wicked.

“It was a little darker than Wicked wanted to shoot and I sat on it and there was nothing to do with it,” Cypher related. “My friend at the time Keith O’Connor who was with Metro but is now with Defiance, I took it to him and said I really want to shoot this. And he helped me make it happen. We shot it and Metro did nothing. They sat on it for six to eight months. Then we cut it. Then they said let’s see how it does. It was received well, and after that they started talking about wanting to do a contract. And I’ve been there happily for a year. That’s where we’re at now.”

St. Croix also remembered the fact that Cypher was on camera “banging bitches” one time in his career.

“I was in my svelte days in my youth,” said Cypher. “I had done a few scenes. I was married for awhile to a starlet. Speaking of bunnies I was married to a girl in this business, very popular for awhile- that was Bunny Luv who’s now Celeste from Digital Playground. That’s her real name. She directs under her name.

“I did some scenes back in the day,” Cypher continued. St. Croix and Cypher started talking about relationships in the business.

“My big porn couple moment was watching Raylene and Alec Metro fall apart,” said Cypher. “When I got in, they were like THE couple. They were the big porno couple. She was with Vivid and he was supposedly doing something. Watching them come apart, was, wow. They got a lot of press and you’d see them places…”

“Not any more,” said St. Croix. “It’s amazing the faces that come and go in this business.”

“But relationships aren’t that much better in the real world,” Cypher ventured to say and then he asked St. Croix if he felt fucking on camera ruined his ability to have lasting relationships.

“I think being in the business actually enhances my sex life,” St. Croix replied.

“What do you think about when you’re shaving your nuts?” Cypher also asked him. “I think the fans want to know.”

Getting back to the contract he has with Metro, Cypher has shot eight movies under it.

“And we’re getting ready to shoot Taboo 22,” he added. “It’s going to be hard to follow-up Red Ezra’s Taboo 21 which was a really impressive show.” St. Croix was also in that movie and enjoyed doing it because it was a period piece. Whereas Cypher said he was going into the future with his.

“It’s going to be something like a 1984 Fascist state, thought police kind of thing,” he said. With the Orwellian theme, Cypher said St. Croix would be dressed up in latex.

“I don’t think my ass would fit in latex.” St. Croix mused. “I have a 38 inch waist. I don’t know where the fuck it came from. I know where it came from Carl’s Jr. I had a double six dollar burger yesterday. I didn’t fuckin’ eat for the rest of the day because that was like 1500 calories there.” St. Croix said he always vows to tighten up his diet for the summer by eating tuna, lettuce, boiled eggs and chicken breast.

“The thing with food for me,” he said, “is if I’m a little depressed or have had a bad scene or I’m working a lot, it’s a drug for me. I crave fat. It’s a battle when you get holder and you want to eat what you want to eat. You’re living the good life and making a lot of money.”

Cypher also mentioned that Metro was going to start spacing out his shows over the next two years.

“So we can promote them a little bit,” he said.