Porn Valley- As much as I love Wankus and Tyler Faith, both, I don’t want to be standing next to them during a thunderstorm. But I say this in a good way, except here’s hoping the good Lord also has a vast sense of humor. Because there’s this scene in the Wankus-directed Faith’s Fantasies, an all-girl movie, that defies a count of how many sacrileges are perpetrated. Even though porn scenes featuring nuns and breaking religious taboos ain’t exactly something new, good Christ, you’ll be purging yourself with holy water after this one.

This is the vignette featuring Nicole Sheridan playing Sister Mary Ellen – with Faith and Kinzie Kenner as students getting some extra tutoring. Sister Mary Ellen is beginning her lecture on the role Pontius Pilate played in history and before you know it, Tyler and Kinzie are on her tits like a palm pilot. Except Sheridan, as the role model, is paving the road to hell with less than good intentions of her own. A crucifix is broken off during a wild melee that features strap-on action with Kinzie subsequently finding the business end of the rosary in her twat.

“I’ve been born again!” Kinzie moans. I don’t think so.

Meanwhile, Sheridan declares how she’s been filled with the Lord, so to speak.

“Who wants to fuck Jesus?” someone also yells out. Again, I mention that strike of lightning as a precautionary note. Brazen and bold where few Christians would dare to go is the assessment of this little storyline.

After Wankus and Tyler have created a scene that’s hard to top for the balls factor, it’s pretty much a day at the porn office with a stellar cast and a camera that roams the schoolyard like a horny little school boy with a stiff pee-pee. In the opening sequence, Tyler’s thumbing through a magazine and comes across a centerfold layout of Jenna Haze. Jenna comes to life in a cute little transition and the two ladies with dildos and lips, test the respective resilience of their labia.

An everybody-gets-their-turn scene by the swimming pool then finds Tyler asking the age-old question of Rebecca Love: “Mind if I take my suit off?”

What? Rebecca, who’s equally bikini-ed, is gonna tell her, yeah, I mind. So when maid Sondra Romain walks into the mix clothed, both of the hyped-up ladies are sucking the skirt off her ass and the life out of Sondra’s Transylvanian clitoris. Remember Bela Lugosi as Dracula in Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein?

“Sonnnnnndraaaaa, come heeeeeeeeeeere.” There was a reason why he said it that way, and a babe like Romain explains it.

If Dracula humped, it was probably like Wankus’ sexual talents who are portrayed in the next scene, and Tyler’s about as excited as a corpse. In this vignette, she imagines the gorgeous Brooke Haven wearing a jewel choker on top of her doing the titty-fondling honors rather than her boyfriend. For the occasion, Brooke also straps it on and brings Tyler’s moist insides to eruption. Except Tyler wakes out of the dream to find Wankus which is like hitting it big in the stock market only to find out you’ve been investing with play money. Or so I would imagine.

Mari Possa also lends some spectacular presence that features her giving a stressed-out Tyler a full body massage. We get some great mechanic’s eye view shots of Tyler’s ass, belly down: pretty much the same view Wankus probably got on a certain Jager-driven evening in a Vegas hotel room, recently. But we digress. Mari’s then blindfolded, handcuffed, ball gagged and probed with a riding crop, all of which proves that if Jager won’t do it, S&M accoutrements certainly will.

Then, as Faith passes traffic cop Regan Anthony on a darkened road, she does a whole mind trip that features Regan’s lovely butt on the end of her lips in a bathroom. You know somehow, somewhere, that Regan’s black baton is going to enter the picture. Actually it enters Tyler’s vagina.

Generally, all-girl movies tend to be about as interesting as a driveway. But Faith’s Fantasies delivers with genuine ease and charm bolstered by its cute sense of play, tight story-telling, a resounding cast and a lip-smacking camera sense. Like The Godfather, this demands a sequel.

–Production Company: Team Tyler Productions

Starring: Tyler Faith, Jenna Haze, Mari Possa, Nicole Sheridan, Kinzie Kenner, Brooke Haven, Sandra Romain, Rebecca Love, Regan Anthony

Release Date: Early February 2006

Director: Wankus

Distribution: www.BlackWidowProductions.com