Porn Valley- It’s hard to tell what was affecting him more- the death of Julia Child or the fact that Golan Cipel was getting $110,000 a year to suck the cock of the governor of New Jersey, but Jason Sechrest got a little pissy on his KSEX show, www.ksexradio.com, Friday night.

“Can we just talk about how childish other journalists in this business are?” said Sechrest, no less so himself for even bringing it up. “I’m not going to name any names- Mike South, Gene Ross. But let me tell you when I had the exclusive on Jason’s News Desk about who was signing with Digital Playground…”

Sechrest, pounding his chest over sovereignty of a who cares story, then went on to tell the world that he had dibs on the apparent inside skinny on Digital Playground’s signing of Teagan Presley and another girl which Sechrest swears up and down is someone named Lonnie.

“Everyone pretty much knew who one of them was,” said Sechrest proud as a peacock. “No one knew who the second one was. Everyone was like, who is the second girl, who can it possibly be? Every now and then, the gay boy comes through with some good straight porn gossip.” Bearing in mind this is coming from someone who announced on his show one time that he had no idea who Legend Video was.

“I checked out my sources,” said Sechrest. “I found out that the girl’s name was Lonnie and that she was in Jack’s Playground 2 for Digital Playground. That is the other girl who is supposedly going to be signing with Digital Playground.”

From the way Sechrest tells it, you would have thought that the Associated Press was jumping into the fray for rights to the story.

“I swear to God it was like a bunch of children in the playground,” Sechrest commented. “I swear to God. First I got an e-mail from Gene Ross who’s like we already knew that.” [Sechrest got one because I was replying to his apparent attempt to score brownie points and a link to his website, which, judging from his anemic Alexa ratings, certainly could use one.]

Sechrest, as though this had become some vast government conspiracy, then emphasized the word KNEW in a conspiratorial tone as if e-mails actually had a voice and a personality.

“Ah no, nah-a,” said Sechrest smacking his lips like some prosecutor in an old Perry Mason script. “You KNEW that Teagan Presley was going to be signed. You KNEW nothing about Lonnie, did you? He’s like, oh, well, I suppose we didn’t know that.”

Sechrest is so full of shit. I wasn’t like, oh, well, anything because there was no follow-up exchange of e-mails between ourselves.

Sechrest then went on to say that Wankus sent him an e-mail to the effect: “We knew this first. We said it on KSEX Radio before anyone else.”

“First of all,” said Sechrest apparently addressing Wankus, “You didn’t say it on KSEX Radio before anyone else. Mike South had it on his site before it was announced on KSEX. And, secondly, again, it was only Teagan Presley. You didn’t know the second girl !!!!!!”

Sechrest claims he said that to Wankus who supposedly replied, “Oh yeah, that’s true. “That’s really good. That’s awesome. Way to go.”

“Mike South is the biggest baby of them all,” Sechrest continued, with an infant’s voice apparently imitating South. “He just cries all the way home, refuses to even mention my name when he puts this on his site, refuses to even link to my website or say who I am. He’s like, ‘contrary to what those OTHER websites will tell you…’ [he] didn’t even want to say it was me.”

Sechret conceded that Digital Playground did not announce Lonnie. “All they did was announce Teagan Presley. But I’m telling you give it another couple of weeks and they’re going to announce Lonnie. AVN already asked them and they said they have no comment at this time which, to me, means yeah. But trust me. I have inside sources over there. It’s going to happen. Lonnie’s signing.”

A public note to Mr. Sechrest: Experience will tell you in this business that the story is not in the signing of a porn performer to a contract. The story is when the porn performer walks out of the contract. To quote yourself, “It’s going to happen.” And we’ll keep this story archived at the ready for when that happens.