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Jessica Jaymes on Stern- 6/22/2005

New York- Jessica Jaymes was a guest on the Howard Stern show Wednesday. And, unlike a perception having nothing to do with reality post written on ADT,, Stern wasn’t rude or obnoxious in his questioning of Jaymes. Stern said she was a very hot chick and that Jaymes was in production for a feature called Desperate House Whores. Robin Quivers thought Jaymes was a blond and Stern told her she had Jaymes confused with Jesse Jane.

Stern thought Jaymes looked very classy. Stern again complimented Jaymes telling her he could see why she was Richard Christy’s favorite. Stern noted that Jaymes appeared to have lost weight since her last visit. Jaymes said she’s been working out, eating healthy and taking colonics. Jaymes does them about once a month. Stern asked if she watches stuff come out of her. “I do,” laughed Jaymes. “I’m very intrigued, like, my gosh, I ate that last week!”

Stern said Quivers found a crayon and a penny. Stern imagined the colonic people don’t get too many hot chicks like Jaymes walk in. When asked, Jaymes said she’ll wear a jumpsuit or sweatsuit when she goes. A woman gives her the colonic. “They give you a robe like you’re in the hospital,” Jaymes explained, noting that there’s a bar you hold on to. “You’re laying down and you grab on to a bar on the wall. You’re wearing nothing but a robe.” Stern was trying to get the full picture. “A woman walks in and your whole buttocks and legs are exposed on the table.”

Jaymes said they then lube you up while you’re on your side. “So all I can see is your ass, legs and bare feet,” said Stern. Asked what you’re grabbing a pole on the wall, Jaymes said that’s because it’s painful. Jaymes said she can only hold 25 seconds of water. “And normally you’re supposed to hold 60 seconds.” Stern joked that Quivers held 17 minutes and that’s why she found crayons. “Robin internally i built like a canal,” said Stern. “It’s Venice- guys with boats.” Asked if they comment on your body, Jaymes said in her case they did. “It’s very awkward- you’re so skinny and so beautiful let me stick this up your thing and cleanse you.” Jaymes said they insert the tube right away.

Jaymes said they flush you out and you can see everything going through the tube. Stern suspected they place the tube where you can see it on purpose. Jaymes said she wanted to look and that it’s very expensive. Jaymes paid between $350 to $400 for five cleanses. Asked if she found anything weird, Jaymes said the first time she went in she was so toxic that it came out black charcoal. “I’m not going to lie. The first time it’s very abrasive and it’s like charcoal.” Stern said Quivers also discovered oil and is very wealthy because of it. “She produces a couple of barrels a day. She filled a whole barrel on the first trip and sold it on the open market. Now she’s a part of OPEC.”

It was noted that Jaymes is a contract girl for Hustler and their only one. Jaymes is in The Porn Identity which was shot in the Czech Republic, Milan and Prague. Jaymes said she was also shooting her own video line by Laurent Sky. “It’s like artistic, it’s fun.” Stern told her that no one wants art. “We want you nude and doing weird things.” In Desperate House Whores, it was determined that Jaymes is the one who molests the house whores. Stern heard there was a sex scene in a helicopter between Jaymes and another woman. Jaymes said she was working with Evan Stone who was married to Jessica Drake. “I’m sure you know.” At that comment, Stern began chuckling. “Do I look that desperate?” he asked Jaymes.

It was mentioned that Jaymes went to a Lakers game and passed out. Jaymes said she didn’t want to go there and talk about other things. Jaymes said she was GHB’d at the game and didn’t know who did it. Jaymes said she’s the host of Totally Busted and was with Mary Carey at the time. Jaymes said an ambulance came for her and she was tested. Stern heard that Jaymes was seated near Kobe Bryant’s wife. “She was aware of what was going on,” said Jaymes. “So she was concerned.” According to what Stern had heard, Jaymes died.

“That’s how the tabloids work,” said Jaymes. Stern asked if she was contemplating some suit. Jaymes said no and thought there were more interesting things to talk about. Stern said to trust him that he knew what was interesting or not. Stern said why drug Jaymes, she’s pretty easy. Stern said everyone knew the story where Jaymes was at the bachelor party where Jessica Simpson got upset because Jaymes gave Nick Lachey…” Jaymes completed the statement to say absolutely nothing. Jaymes ran into them again at Avalon, a club in Hollywood. “It was for Tsunami relief.” According to Jaymes, she entered after James Brown and walking in she was told Simpson and Lachey were in the club and that it should make for an interesting evening.

“As you know interesting is a safe word,” said Jaymes. “It could mean good, bad, middle. I’m like great. Little did I know I was seated back to back with Nick and Jess. The whole time Nick and I, I’m like, Nick, hi, I just want you to know that I’m sitting right behind you. I don’t want to cause anything bad and Jessica had no clue that it was actually me. She kept dancing her bubbly little head off. She kept bumping into me and smiling.” Quivers noted a huge rock on Jayme’s hand and Stern asked what that was about. Jaymes said it was more like a going away present. Stern asked if someone wanted her to go away. “I bought it for myself.”

Stern then wanted to play a game where Richard Christy, a big Jaymes booster, would get to squeeze her boobs, spank her naked, and lay on her naked body in his underwear. The big prize was a nude lotion massage. But if Christy got his answers wrong he’d get a chocolate T-bag from Captain Sac.

Christy knew, for instance that Jaymes made her porn debut in 2003 with Sexhibitionist 9 and got to squeeze James’ breasts. Christy also knew that Jaymes did her first boy-girl scene as a Hustler contract girl in The Porn Identity and got to fondle her ass. Christy also knew that James’ favorite drink is Chardonnay and got to spank her. Christy however got a date with Captain Sac when he failed to answer a question that asked what all-natural star of the Perfect Pink series made her debut in Service Animals 4. Christy guessed Taylor Rain. It was Jenna Haze.


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