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Jewel’s Last Clam Bake

Hey fans, I’m back from my L.A. excursion and otherwise Lesbian Adventure with Jewel De’Nyle and Likewise Legendary Labia Lickers. I am back in one piece (though, with all of the rigorous rim washing and plunging, I was almost relieved of such a state) and I’m here to report most humbly…. “NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA!”

Three of the most well-known legends in porno history, Jewel De’Nyle, Ginger Lynn, and Teri Weigel, were accompanied by two sweet, enthusiastic and anally charged tramps who were just as impressively versed in the world of anal and oral pleasures, Katja Kassin and Julie Night. And in the middle of all of this insane sexual heat was yours truly, Bisexual Britni.

I simply enjoyed myself as my pussy was licked hungrily in twenty different directions. I had the pleasure of savoring some very tasty clitoral entrees myself, and locking lips with women I’d only dreamed of sharing sensual affections with. Jewel was indeed the star of the show, as she held everyone’s hearts in her hand, demanding to anally plunge each of us consecutively, having each of us feast on her pussy as she waited for another sexual concept to strike her fancy. Ginger Lynn did a wonderful job as “supporting actress” by stealing some of the show with her charged performance and inspiring moans and whimpers. She was dressed to kill, and was ready to rock from the very beginning, in her shapely corset and her creamsicle flavored thighs. Teri Weigel was some of the best interaction that I retained from this experience. She gave me a “hand job”: she spread lube across my clit and pelvic bone area, and slid her palm back and forth, applying the perfect amount of pressure to finally make me cum. Her excitement rose to almost hysteria as I came due to her skill. She also reamed my pussy and asshole with a toy that fucks both at once.

INCREDIBLE!! I almost passed out! Teri seemed to truly enjoy herself, and to love making others cum. The stars were in alignment, and in brightest form… but Katja Kassin is the girl who really caught my eye. She’s from Germany; a tempestuous little red hot red head who loves her ass pounded, and sucks off her anal juices from ass-drenched dildoes for fun. She doesn’t care if the cameras are rolling or not, she enjoys great pussy eating (performed by yours truly) even when it’s not being documented. She looks like a perfect china doll, her hips, waist and adolescent breasts curving all at the sweetest angles, her nipples sticking up like obstinate Hershey’s kisses, just begging to melt in your mouth. The color of her hair has the light tint of fireball candy.

And for good reason. She’s just as irresistible, and just as flaming hot. (Katja, my offer still stands, if you want to visit Denver for a couple years… I mean, days.)

Then there was Julie Night. Julie was thrilled from the start to have legendary cunt surrounding her, and she was determined to plow into as much of it as possible… or herself be plowed. All of which happened in this such scenario. Julie seemed excited to simply be around so much pussy at once. A true cunnilingus connoisseur, she tasted and was tasted as often as she could accomplish. She is also a true fan of backdoor battery.

She offered me a toy and told me to stick it up her. She said this with the enthusiasm of a sixteen year old birthday girl realizing she can actually have that red Camaro for her very own. I grabbed the toy and she bent over, unconcerned about trivialities such as lubrication or anything else that was simply a distraction from having her hole invaded and reamed. I splattered some lubrication on the tip as quickly as possible and started to feed it to her back-door fuck-pocket; she moaned with ecstatic need of a starving individual before a plate of ! chocolate truffles.

I truly enjoyed fucking this girl, who seems completely dedicated to porn, and the sex, and the film itself. I see great things for her. And so the sun goes down on my most fondest day in the porn business, my work with Platinum X video is, again, a wonderful experience and a great success. It was an incredible experience that no one should have any right to file in their life-time milestones.

So again, I shall say Teri Weigel is indeed the great one I have come to worship; Jewel De’Nyle is definitively one of the Hall of Fame actresses that deserves so much more than an AVN Award — she deserves her own category; and Ginger Lynn indeed knows how to make a gold-plated performance into a platinum one.

That said, I resume my former status as “Retired Porn Star”, and wait eagerly for the day that Jenna Jameson and Peter North again scoop me up out of retirement for an unforgettable video… or just an orgy. That would be fine too.

So, in closing, I’d like to say…. NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAA!!

Sexually yours,


PS. When the movie is released, I will let you know the title and where to get it.



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