Porn Valley- I spoke to the world’s greatest pornographer Jim Powers today on the set of the latest movie Otto Bauer’s shooting for Ninn Worx. Powers tells me he made an appearance on the Judge Joe Brown Show and today was officially notified that he would be receiving a judgment in his favor for $5,000.

According to Powers, last summer a guy named Tim McDuffy, the manager of Bad Religion put the hit on him for $2500. Powers says McDuffy “a perenial roadie” was desperate for the money, that he needed it to pay his mortgage and because he was starting up a band managing company.

“He said he was slightly short and that he would pay me back in a couple of weeks,” said Powers. “A couple of weeks slides into six weeks- I don’t say a word. It’s only $2500. Then he comes to me again saying he needed $3,000 this time, that his uncle just died and he needed the money for a cremation. He’s crying in my office that if I just give him the $3,000 now he’ll pay me three days from now and he’s getting money out of probate- all this bullshit. He’s saying the money had to come from the bank which made sense to me.

“Being an idiot I loaned him the money the second time,” Powers continues. After putting some pressure on McDuffy, Powers receives a check for $3,000 from his mother.

“I put it in and it bounced,” Powers says. “I go banging on his mother’s trailer. I’m like what’s up with this $3,000? She says Timmy wasn’t supposed to give that to you. Timmy says you weren’t going to cash it. Why the hell would I loan money if I don’t want it. I paid for your stupid brother’s cremation- as far as I’m concerned I own his ashes! I’ll take them to a bukkake. That’s when she started crying. I guess somebody told her what it was. I said I want my money.

“So she promised me that when she sold the trailer in January I would get my $3,000. Then I went steaming over to Timmy’s house. I find out he didn’t own his house, his brother owned it and the loser [Timmy] was renting the downstairs. Timmy’s like, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Things are going bad for me. I’m sorry I’m a loser cocaine addict. He gives me all this type of shit and we set up a payment plan.

“He makes one payment to me of $500,” Powers continues. “Then, inexplicably, he gives me this check for $2,000 but he tells me he’s putting cash in the bank. He says he’s putting it in cash but he puts in a check. This one he stole from his mother from a different account. It bounces. I call him back- what the fuck’s going on? I told him I want my money or I’m taking your mother to small claims court.

“The day before I do this he’s going, please, please, please- I’ll pay you the whole $5,000. My grandmother’s loaning it to me. I don’t believe him. I go to small claims court. He tells his mother not to show up. So I get the judgment. I come back. Within one hour I get an overnight- I open it up. It’s a $3,000 check from his grandmother.

“I decide I’m not going to deposit this one, so I go to her bank and try to cash it,” Powers says. “They tell me the signature’s bad.”

Powers calls McDuffy on Good Friday and is told that he’s in church with his grandmother.

“And he’s acting, like, she’s saying just put the check in. She’s getting really old now. She’s 90 and her signature’s not the same. Whatever. I deposit it. It comes back- signature irregular. So I called his grandmother and go what the fuck is going on with this? Then his other uncle calls up telling me Timmy has stolen the checks, that Timmy’s going to prison and all this type of shit. So I’m looking for Timmy. And Timmy’s hiding from me.

“Turns out the uncle sends down his son and he goes and beats the shit out of Timmy who’s down in San Diego because he’s now got a job with The House of Blues. I was going to try and get a lien on his wages at The House of Blues. Anyhow he calls me up crying. First I told him I was going to punch him in the face, too. But he wouldn’t come over and see me.

“Now it turns out he’s stolen checks and owes his brother rent checks,” Powers goes on to say. “He stole checks from his grandmother. The uncle tells me Timmy now owes $45,000 to people. A total loser. I go, Timmy- look, I’ve got a judgment against your mom. Her trailer’s on eBay at auction right now. She’s not going to make a lot out of it. I’m going to get that money.”

Powers then hears from Judge Joe Brown and advises Timmy that he needs to go on the show. Powers assured him that he wouldn’t go after the grandmother because everyone was worried he was going to cause her a heart attack.

“Especially the bukkake with the son’s ashes,” says Powers. “We go on the Judge Joe Brown show a couple of weeks ago. Ashley Blue was my witness. Why she went on the show as my witness was to show what a nice guy I am. I’ve loaned money to the biggest scumbags in the world of porno and have always gotten paid back. That shows you even the most drugged out worthless male talent is worth more than one piece of shit band manager.”

“When it comes to the levels of scum on this earth, a stunt cock is so high up above,” Powers insists. “It’s all about morals and stuff and obviously people in rock bands don’t have them. I would rather loan money to the most tweaked out heroin girl in the world than Tim McDuffy. He’s just a piece of shit in my opinion. So we go on the Judge Joe Brown Show and I bring Ashley because I’m a porno director and they wanted me to have a girl on the show who knows how my moral fiber is.

“The judge says explain your case and I have all my cashed checks,” states Powers. “I’m just barraging the judge and he goes okay. Then he goes to McDuffy- what’s your defense? Here’s his defense: ‘I’ve been going through a really bad time in my life and I couldn’t make the payments.’

“The judge goes off on him because McDuffy on national TV is going, ‘I was partying a lot, your honor. I spent the money on cocaine.’

“That’s what he says on national TV! And the judge is going, Ashley, why are you here? Were you doing drugs with him? Ashley says, no, I’ve done a lot of drugs in my day and he looks like a drug user. In fact he looks high right now! The judge is going off why Bad Religion fired him because he’s a loser. He goes on and on about what a loser Tim McDuffy is, how he stole money from his grandmother and has his mother, penniless, living in a trailer.

“He’s one of these guys who walks around like a big shot, that he’s got all these things going on,” says Powers. “He’s on top of the world. I guess when you’re doing lines of coke you feel you are on top of the world- kind of like the girl who used to write for LukeFord.com. She was always on the top of the world, too.”

Powers reports that he won his case and received a check in the mail today. But not from McDuffy.

“Judge Joe Brown paid me- bless his soul,” Powers explains. “I have nothing but respect for Judge Joe Brown. But the winner of this is Tim McDuffy. This piece of shit was able to scam $5,000. The Judge Joe brown Show flew him out. They offered to put him up in a hotel. They gave him a taxi from the airport. They gave him $35 of spending money so he could buy some crack or something. And they gave him $200 for appearing on the show and being a national embarrassment to his entire family. And he doesn’t have to pay. He got $5,000 free dollars.”