Porn Valley – Fresh from a 9-1-1 at Sardos a couple of weeks ago that almost made her an angel, Lisa the Lesbian was ready to party again. Except the party this time wouldn’t let her in the front door.

Lisa told her story for Ginger Lynn and the KSEX audience Monday night, about how Digital Playground barred her at the door of the premier of Nic Andrews’ new movie, Loaded. But that’s okay, Lisa had the last laugh. That’s if you call partying with Cameron Diaz along with Paris Hilton and Justin Timberlake resembling the final name-dropping chuckle.

But what made the situation particularly galling about the Digital Playground incident is the fact that Lisa was accompanied by Andrews. Not only that, Lisa’s friend owns the club where the party was taking place!

Lisa said she had been invited by Digital contract girl Jesse Jane who’s one of her best friends along with Andrews and Barrett Blade.

“She’s a great person,” said Lisa of Jane, Ginger agreeing wholeheartedly. Lisa said she went in a limo with Andrews [Jane took another car], also mentioning that the limo pulled over to the side of the road to let the girls have a pee break. “The girls had to pee so badly because we were made to wait forever.”

According to Lisa, everyone was let into the premier including her roommate. But when she got to the front door, Lisa was barred from entering by Adella O’Neil, Digital’s p.r. woman. “No sweetie, I can’t let you in,” said Lisa, imitating O’Neil in mock tones.

Lisa said it wasn’t about what she was wearing. “It was about being me; she wouldn’t let me in there. I go, excuse me. Then she brought Joone the owner of the company out and he was, like, oh, I can’t let you in.” Lisa said Joone also mumbled something about having to make a couple of his employees happy. Lisa said she told him she came at the invite of Jane.

“The star of the movie wants me and I came here with the director and another star of the movie. You’re not going to let me in? They were, like, pretty much, no. I must have done something for that ugly fucking bitch to not let me in. I’m sorry. I hate her. And I’m going to say that publicly now because I’ve always refrained from saying that. Just to be politically correct.”

Lisa had made an earlier reference about being manhandled by a chick who looks like a man. She identified the chick as O’Neil. “She’s got a mustache and these huge pores in her skin. And it’s really scary. And she’s lost so much weight.”

Ginger cautioned Lisa to use the word “alleged” when referring to the mustache and pores. “You know Skeletor?” Lisa asked. “The He-Man show that used to be on? She looks like Skeletor.” Ginger felt the compelling need to bring Adella on the show. Lisa said if Adella was running down the street on fire she wouldn’t piss on her to put her out.

“I would never have her in here because she’d smell up the studio and we’d have to fuckin’ burn the place down.”Ginger wondered if Lisa and Adella ever had a lesbian affair and this was a spat. Lisa said while she might fluctuate in weight there isn’t a helluva lot you can do about being ugly. “At least I can lose the weight.”

The irony is that Lisa went to a club in Hollywood afterwards. “I hung out with Marlon Wayans- he’s a friend of mine. I always talk about him. Nicky and Paris Hilton, and, of course, the big topper, Justin Timberlake showed up AND Cameron Diaz. Asked if she did Diaz, Lisa said she wishes. Lisa said Diaz has a tattoo over her buttcrack. “Cause her pants are really low- I’m sitting there looking at it and I’m trying to figure out what it says. I’m like what does your tattoo say?” Lisa said Diaz was real cute in the way she walked up and introduced herself.

According to Lisa, Lindsay Lohan who’s in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, was also there. “Mind you, she’s 17 and in this club.” Lisa also talked to Scarlett Johansson from Lost in Translation. “She was there and I was talking to her for awhile. I didn’t even know who she was.” Also partying at the club was Benicio Del Toro. Ginger thought it funny that Lisa couldn’t get into a porn party but bumped into all these celebrities. Asked if she had her choice among all the girls, Lisa said it would be Diaz. “She’s cute and goofy and she was so sweet and bubbly.”

Lisa said Diaz was talking to Timberlake and kissing him. “I turned around and felt somebody’s ass on mine- he’s like, whassup? He goes I shouldn’t be doing that, huh? I’m like, no, you’re the only man who could.”

Asked by Ginger how she manages to get all this action, Lisa said she makes friend with the bodyguards. “I think it’s my hair- people remember me. I make friends with peoples bodyguards and shit and then I end up being their friend. That and the fact that I’ve always got pretty girls around me. Everybody thinks that I’m this big stud muffin that hangs out with all these hot chicks and fucks them.”

Update: Insiders tell AdultFYI.com that male talent, Barrett Blade put Wankus of KSEX on his guest list as well, only to have management of DP allegedly tell Blade that Wankus wasn’t welcome at the event either.