Last week Mary Carey said that she didn’t like to have sex with “commoners”. This week Queen Mary says she’d rather rub elbows with the wealthy. Carey also farted on The Daily Show.

WWW- Stephen Colbert files this report about infamous pornographers Mark Kulkis and Mary Carey (you might remember her as the blonde with the abnormally large boobs that ran for governor of California) of Kick Ass Productions.

Well, they’re Republicans now. Not only that, but Kulkis is an honorary chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee’s Business Advisory Council. But that’s only because he gave $200 to them for a title. He also forked over $5000 in donations and was invited to “The 2005 President’s Dinner and Salute to Freedom”. It’s good to hear that the Republican party is just as moral as they make themselves to be.

Mary Carey explains her newfound Republican-ness by saying that “if you play with cripples, you start to limp” and so she’d rather rub elbows with the wealthy. Nice. She then goes on to say that she’s not willing to do anal because she has gas problems and likes to poo (I completely missed the segue to that but I’m sure Carey’s train of thought is completely non sequitur anyway). She then passes gas and confesses that she’s never done that in an interview before.

“You’re my first fart!” she tells Colbert. He explains that in the news business, that’s called an “exclusive”. A pizza guy then enters and there’s some hardcore pizza-eating done by Colbert (accompanied by a lot of sleazy “bow-chicka bow wow” music). Cut to Democratic strategist Hank Sheinkopf expressing his views on losing the porn stars to the Republicans. Of course, his explanation is cut short by a pizza guy coming in. Colbert treats himself to more pizza and even feeds Sheinkopf a bit. On a slightly off-note, I really wanted to ring up Domino’s after this segment.