Porn Valley- Wankus on his KSEX show Monday night was giving a recap of what happened with him and Tyler Faith, www.TylerFaith.com in Miami last week. One story’s likely to have him on the Homeland Security Top 20 list, but there was another one involving Mary Carey.

“I have a picture right now that may surprise you,” Wankus told Michelle Lay who was filling in for Rebecca Love. Wankus was referring to a club in South Beach that he figures is going to be a huge hit. It’s called Klub. Included in the picture was Mary Carey and Lay was astonished by how good Carey looked.

“What was she doing there?” asked Love first thinking it was Mariah Carey.

“That would be Mary Carey,” Wankus laughed.

“I think she’s pretty- I think she looks good,” said Lay. “I always thought she was pretty. She got chunky.” The speed diet or whatever, said Wankus. In any event Carey lost a lot of weight.

“She’s never been that skinny,” Lay swore. “And it looks like she got some face-work done.” Wankus thought that Carey looked “a little bit stretched thin.” In the photo was also a picture of the club’s owner. Wankus said he was a French guy and one of the few who isn’t an asshole. Lay wondered when Carey was coming into KSEX.

“We’ve got to have her in,” Lay said.

“We’re working on that,” Wankus replied.

“Now we can erase the whole buffet and give her some diet pills,” Lay said, wondering if Carey did the same thing as Anna Nicole Smith.

Nonetheless, Wankus advised his listeners to check out the club at 655 Washington right off Fifth in Miami.

“It’s a great place,” he said. “It’s going to be one of those hot, huge trendy things.” Wankus said he generally hates the club scene but this place makes you feel comfortable as soon as you walk in. Lay also suspected that the club offers bottles of Vodka for $300.

“But we drank for free,” said Wankus. “And we had six bottles of all kinds of shit and we had a really good time.”

While in Miami, Wankus said he talked to Carey about the KSEX food tease and Carey wants to collect on some of the items on the menu. He claimed she was a very good sport about it.

“The funny thing is, Mary’s a drinker and she has no problem admitting it,” Wankus continued. “She likes to tell everyone, first thing- hi, I’m an alcoholic. What’s for drinks?” In hanging out with Carey, Wankus said she started talking about her new boyfriend.

“He’s a very nice guy,” Wankus said. “He’s not like her old boyfriend who was a no-neck asshole- he was a fuckin’ dick head. I used to call him no-neck and that became his name in the industry. Even Stern was saying where’s no-neck. That was my fuckin’ thing but I never got the credit like always.”

Wankus said the new boyfriend was nice in the sense that he doesn’t attempt to dominate Carey and sits back and does whatever she wants. Except for one time.

“But I guess they got in a fight the night before,” Wankus continued. “We’re all sitting around, just chillin’, then she decides to tell about how they get in a fight four in the morning the night before.

“And what he does, is, he takes away her phone whenever they get into a fight,” Wankus went on to say. “Because she’s known for calling all her friends and talking about how much of an asshole he is when they fight. So she tells us the story about how her man takes the phone and I guess he says, fuck you, I’m leaving, I’m out of here. That kind of lover fight. He leaves but he leaves his luggage in their hotel room. Then he takes her phone. She says fine. Then she opens his fucking luggage, squats over and pisses all over his shit. Just drenches his stuff in piss.”

Lay said that was a good one, and Wankus couldn’t believe his ears. Wankus said he then saw Carey later in the night and asked if she told Faith the story about pissing on her man’s clothes. Wankus then proceeded to play a phone message from a drunken Carey. According to Wankus, the story got worse because Carey also shit on the guy’s clothes. He and Faith couldn’t believe it.

“But she got her phone back,” Wankus noted. Wankus and Faith were then at the airport the next day ready to leave for California when Carey called them urging them to stay and party.

“I’ll give you all the money in my checking account right now,” Carey told them if they would. Wankus asked her how much that was and Carey told him $18,000.

“Okay- show up at the airport right now with the cash and we’ll stay,” he told her. When Carey told him she couldn’t get it out until the following day, he told her they had to go.