Porn Valley- Max Hardcore, www.maxhardcore.com, king of the porn cowboys was a guest on KSEX’s The Wanker Show Friday night. Max was on with Layla and Wankus busted his balls about the fact he should have been at the studio an hour earlier.

Max said that was okay that he wanted to talk to Mia Rose who also was a guest.

“When are we going to do a scene?” Max asked her. There didn’t seem to be an answer. Rose said something non-committal, about them talking about it.

“One of the great things about Max for real…” Wankus began.

“His checks cash,” Rose interjected.

“He will sit you down before a scene and say this is what’s going to happen,” Wankus continued. “If you don’t agree with it, you can go home. Nobody’s being forced to do anything. There’s no curve balls. No surprises.” Someone yelled out, “That’s why I love Stuart Wall.”

On the subject of his site, www.maxhardcore.com, Max said it was possibly the greatest website there ever was. “Since Layla’s on it.”

Wankus said he had video footage of Layla swan diving through a fountain in a five star hotel.

“Security’s chasing her throughout the whole place,” Wankus related. Max remembered Layla working the entire length of that fountain and had spray up her pussy, ass and mouth.

“Security’s yelling at Max and Max is being really respectful,” Wankus noted. “Listen, I’m really sorry- I don’t know what the hell got into her. I’m going to get her out of there. Then he whispers to her, ‘Keep going, keep going.’ It’s fuckin’ great.”

Max wanted to send out a shout to “the brothers and sister in arms in the hell holes that are Afghanistan…it’s a bad situation and I wish everyone can get home safely.”

Max went on to say that he had a pretty good summer and did some traveling to San Jose, the Internext in Florida and Lisbon, Portugal for a sex show. Wankus imagined that they like Max in Europe because a lot of people shit for dinner on each other. Max said he also just got back from Barcelona where Layla apparently caused a riot at the expo.

“All I did was get naked,” said Layla. Max said the crowds were pushing so hard, fighting one another.

“They collapsed our booth,” he said. “We had to kick our way out of the fuckin’ booth.” Max said something about having a switch blade noting that some guy tried to rob him in Rotterdam. Max said he’s rarely used it except for maybe the time some guy tried to get rough with Layla and Max stabbed his hand into a table.

“He’ll never play the piano again,” mused Wankus.

“He couldn’t play the piano before,” answered Max. “They’re illegal but getting killed is illegal. I just want to let anybody know that’s coming up to do some personal harm to us that we’re prepared to deal with the situation.” Layla then took her clothes off and Wankus noticed a bruise.

“Max, you getting a little fucking rough again?” Wankus wondered. Max said it was a funny story and proceeded to relate the short version.

“She comes to my house- we’re getting ready to go to Portugal,” said Max. “She has a fuckin bump on her ass that don’t look too fuckin’ good. I popped this fuckin bump. Long story short about $1500 later I got her on the fuckin’ plane with gauze stuck up her fuckin’ ass. Shit happens. Who among us doesn’t have a pimple on their ass?”

Asked about his legal situation, Max said, “You get a pimple on your ass.” Completely ignoring the relevance of that comment, Max went on to talk about the time Layla had her tits done.

“I wheel her out of the doctor’s office on a wheel chair,” he continued. “She sleeps for like three days. And the next thing she knows she wakes up in Barcelona. We did a scene in the toilet airplane.”

Wankus took that to mean that Layla slept through the scene.

Max then talked about how he asked a girl out for a date.

“I got a very unusual response- she puked,” said Max. “Then I figured I’m going to work it into my routine.”

Layla was asked by Wankus if she felt weird about the long history Max had with Catalina.

“Oh, I replaced her- any of those weird feelings?” Wankus amplified.

Layla said nothing weird. “She’s my buddy. She’s better than ever.”

Wankus wondered if Layla and Max were a “hot item.”

“We’re on the same team, team Hardcore,” she answered. “It’s strictly business.” Wankus recalled the first time Layla came on the show.

“You were so shy you were almost kind of bitchy,” remembered Wankus. “And Max called me for a week to apologize. Usually when Max came in with people, we actually had to call to make sure the local PD was nowhere around. It was fuckin’ crazy, and you wouldn’t show me your tits. Max was, like, I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Then all of a sudden you went Fooooooom. And you just started doing everything. I mean in your career.”

Max recalled the first time he saw Layla, commenting, “That’s going to be my next girl. She was in junior high. But I focused in on it- I talked to her guidance counselor. I said I know she’s never going to amount to anything in the real world. She can’t work a regular job more than five minutes. I’m going to take her to all these places. I’m going to build her up and buy her some tits. He said, ‘Go for it.’ The first time I had seen Mia [Rose], I said that’s going to be my next girl. She doesn’t know it yet.”

Rose said if they could come to a middle ground, possibly.

“But I’m not hardcore like that,” Rose added. “We have a mutual respect for each other.”

Max argued that Layla wasn’t into the hardcore-stuff before they got there.

Wankus remembered the time about three years ago that Max picked up a retarded girl at the bus stop and brought her to KSEX.

“She wasn’t into that stuff and, holy shit, did she have a night!!” laughed Wankus. “We had a night that still hasn’t been topped yet.” Wankus explained how Bisexual Britni and Catalina stood over the girl’s head, pissed on her and beat the living shit out of her. Wankus told the retarded girl to wave her hand if she was okay.

“Naaaaaa-naaaaa-aaaaaaagh.” Wankus said he spent the whole night not believing any of that happened.

“The next day I called Max- is that girl okay, dude? He goes, she’s fine. And Max said, ‘What’s weird is I think she’s a little bit retarded.'”

“She was definitely retarded,” Max agreed. “It was so annoying she was on the phone to Florida saying to somebody back home, ‘I want my property- you have to get my property. Na-na-na-na. You have to get my property back!’ I never shoved my hand, my fist down a girl’s throat before that. But I had to shut her up.”