Maui- Taryn Thomas left a couple of messages from Maui where she was shooting for Shane’s World. Then when I got her on the phone, she handed it over to Penny Flame [pictured], saying Flame could tell the story a lot better. Thomas is laughing because her agent Mark Speigler got wind of the fact that Thomas was on a “booze cruise.”
“He’s, like, how’s the booze cruise- I told him I wasn’t on a booze cruise. We’re on a boat. We were sailing and there was booze,” Thomas laughs. Somehow the story got out that Wankus, when he called Thomas Friday night live on KSEX, talked to a bartender.
“He talked to Penny,” said Thomas. Flame explained how the group arrived on Maui Thursday and the original crew besides two camera guys, consisted of her, Thomas, Sascha, Jack Venice and Michelle Maylene. They’re scheduled to take a red eye out on Monday.
“Michelle was totally not in the mood to have a good time,” Flame explains. “And so at one point she decided she didn’t want to be here any more. She started crying hysterically and this is only two hours after we land in Maui. Everybody I talked to said they came and didn’t go home. That’s pretty much where I’m at right now. So she left. But the best part is that she didn’t tell anybody until she was back in California.
“We asked what she wanted to do,” Flame continued. “Then we went to do a scene- it didn’t end up working out because the light wasn’t perfect so we called it a day. We came back and she [Maylene] was gone. I told her before to feel free to hang out at the pool or hang out at the beach. I’ll call you when I get back. Then you can talk to me and tell me what’s up. So we got back and she did not answer the phone. Then I called Derek. I get a call real soon from her after that. I tell her [Maylene] to come by the pool. She says okay and I didn’t hear from her again. Then she texted me [late Friday night] to tell me she was back in California, that she was sorry. We had no idea what happened to her. Nobody knew where Michelle Maylene went but she did make it back to California surprisingly enough. Thankfully. There’s no hard feelings. It’s understandable. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to have fun. Which is fine because we wound up getting a girl named Emily Evermore who’s fairly new to the business.” Flame said Evermore got in Friday morning and she went to pick her up at the airport.
“I was nervous,” said Flame. “The girl just got off an airplane flight and we have to shoot her right away. There’s a lot of things running through my head. But she’s fucking stunning, gorgeous. She looked absolutely fabulous. After a 5 1/2 hour plane ride, if I could look that good, I would raise my boy-girl rate. After we got her, we hopped on a sail boat. A friend of mine has sail boats out here. We took one for a little excursion around the Pacific Ocean. We were out there drinking and cursing and being naked and wild. Sascha and Emily fucked right on the deck which is awesome. We got fairly intoxicated. We were sailing and there was booze, but it was not a cruise dedicated for booze. It was an ‘excursion.” But it was awesome.
“After that we got off the boat and were pretty fucking exhausted, so to speak. So we pretty much went home, had a hamburger and called it a night. Then on Saturday morning we started off looking for a rain forest. We wanted to find a waterfall. Halfway on the way there, Jack Venice says he wants to wear a speedo. And so we went on this mission to find a speedo for Jack. We end up in this shopping center and Jack’s looking for speedos. And I go buy a bunch of crap. We come back and Taryn’s met these two awesome, toothless men. But they were awesome. They took us through the open air market- they gave us a map to look for Maui Wowie. They extended an invitation to a naked drum session on a nude beach for Sunday night. They gave us an awesome tiki and a coconut and sent us on our way. We actually didn’t find the rain forest. We said fuck it and went straight to the nude beach.
“We were walking across the beach and everybody was looking at us because we’re the only people with clothes on,” Flame continues. “How weird is that feeling being a porn star? So we walk across the beach and all of a sudden the whole northern side of the beach is covered in lava. Jack and Taryn thought that was awesome so we fucked right on the lava. A couple of bruises, a couple of cuts. Chalk it up to casualties of war. Then we went back to the nude beach and took all our clothes off- the entire crew. We put down the camera for a little bit and cleansed our souls of the traumatic, lava rock fucking experience.”
Flame said they made another friend on the beach who was going to take them to the waterfalls Sunday.
“But my phone died so we’re just going to show up at his house- hopefully he’s there,” she said. “So we’re going to try and find waterfalls.” Flame forget all about Saturday night, noting that after they left the nude beach, they showered off and went into town to have a couple of drinks.
“In honor of our lava fuck-fest,” she says. Flame said she went back to the hotel for something but by the time she got back Thomas was in the condition to want to give handjobs to random strangers.
“She grabs the camera guy and starts running through the streets- she didn’t find anyone to give a handjob to but she definitely met some interesting characters,” says Flame. “There was a Mexican guy named Raoul. Then she met some Irish guys who she thought she could speak to in an Irish accent. And that didn’t happen. Then her and Emily almost got into a fight which was pretty awesome. But they calmed down with each other and like each other again. Then we went home and Taryn threw up for awhile and I pee’d off the balcony. Security came up to see if everything was okay. Of course Taryn’s sitting butt naked on the toilet when I opened the door. I thought it was one of the crew. I opened the door- it was security. I’m naked. Taryn’s naked on the toilet throwing up. They go is everything okay? We’re fine. We’re fine. He was, like, please be quiet. It’s 3 in the morning. That’s pretty much how Saturday night ended. Then this morning when she wakes up she asks me, ‘I didn’t fuck anybody, did I, Penny?’ I was, like, no Taryn. But you did plenty of other things.”
According to what Flame was telling me, the group was off to breakfast and then would be in search of the nude drum circle later in the evening.
“I’m stoked- because everybody I talked to said they probably won’t mind if I bring cameras,” says Flame. “Hopefully, we’ll have an awesome crazy-assed drum circle for the finale.”