Mika Tan writes on her MySpace page: I was helping a guy do his mainstream indie film. He is a recurring character in a TV show. I was going to loan him my production equipment and even introduced him to my family, because he needed to find Eurasian kids for his cast.

Even though he was an extra on a TV show, he seemed pretty normal. I often avoid mainstream actors and actresses, as they have proven (to me at least) to be too concerned about their image and often need a lot of attention. Seven months-worth of calls, text messages, and voicemails ended only after I got rid of my cell phone.

I am posting this not to be mean, but for 2 reasons:

1. So that my friends and colleagues understand why I haven’t been answering calls from numbers I don’t know & why my voicemailbox was always full.

2. This guy can go back and think about everything that transpired and MAYBE understand why I do not wish to keep him as a friend. If he sees that other people find this behavior excessive, he will seek help.

What lead to all this??? Text Message Overkill / Voicemail Box Full all the time!

I told him I was not interested in anything other than friendship. He seemed okay with that. But then, he gradually started sending me more and more text messages and voicemails throughout the day. They weren’t pervy, just wondering how my day was, invites to eat or watch movies, harmless stuff like that.

During a 2 month period, he left me an average of 21.4 text messages a day. One day, he left me 64 text messages. When I didn’t answer right away, it was resent over and over. Even the police officer that took my restraining order application told me that was excessive! I first tried to me nice. I told him I talk to my BEST FRIEND maybe once a week. I do not have a normal sleep schedule and try to fit it in when I can because I have a very full plate.

I said I didn’t mind keeping in touch, but he had to cut back on the calls because he was filling up my voicemail box DAILY and was making me go over my 200 text message limit, so it was costing me money.

He did for a short while. But then it picked up again. When I decided to start ignoring some of the messages, he started to call from other phone numbers & blocking the numbers. So I stopped answering calls from numbers I did not know. I started getting those responses like, “Why are you mad at me?!”, “What have I done?!”, “Why do you hate me?!”. I then became extremely BLUNT: Look, man. Your friendship requires more attention and energy that I am able to give. Perhaps you are used to co-dependent people, who require constant attention. I am not one of those people.

I am perfectly happy sitting down and studying how to use a miter saw all afternoon. I really am not on my phone or on the computer all that much. I do not like watching TV. I do not like spending time on things that are not productive. Maybe mainstream actors have more time on their hands. I don’t know. I go to the event parties and hang out every once in a while, but really not looking to forge a relationship with anyone at this time. He was relentless, so I ended up getting rid of my phone, which has hurt my networking ability.

Tried to Get into Porn

He believes we had great chemistry and hinted around to having sex. I told him I had sex for love or film and believe that casual sex for people in my industry was irresponsible. All the really bad outbreaks of any serious STD in this business has been a direct result of someone having casual sex with a person outside the business. He offered me $600 for me to come over & have sex. I told him that was illegal, thanked him for treating me like a prostitute, and even if he magically became a federally-recognized commercial production company to shoot porn overnight, I wouldn’t do it anyway because I knew he only did all of that to manipulate me into having sex with him.

Next thing I know, he sends me a text saying he sent his pics to a porn agent so he can get in the business and “maybe we can work together!” This is lunacy. His mainstream career will be shot to hell. I told him this and he seemed undaunted. Fortunately for me, he approached the wrong agent and not only has she alerted all the other agents and some production companies that a mainstream creep was trying to get into the business, she told him in no uncertain terms she is not interested in a man who only wanted to do softcore and stills.

He told me to call him so he could say good-bye in February. He said his mother was sick and dying and he was going home to take care of her. The way it was worded did not seem sincere. My thoughts was that this was a ploy to get me to feel sorry for him and call. He never went and sent me a text saying he wasn’t going anymore. I told him he was really not good for lying about his mother being sick and he was creating really bad causes. He did it again in March, saying he was leaving because he was sick of all these plastic people in Los Angeles.

I recognized his second attempt to manipulate me into calling him & got so irritated. I told him only a few fetishists I know like being manipulated into doing things they don’t want to do. I am not one of those people. I do not respond to guilt-trips and in fact, when I catch on that people try to do that to me, it makes me what to do the opposite. Ask me directly and I might, try to manipulate me and I will never. After I told him this, he “randomly” (i.e. cyber-stalking) found an obscure website that had my best friend’s email address listed and wrote to her. He told her he thought I was cool and if she could tell me what a cool guy he was and for her to tell me to give him a chance.

Oh, and get this…he asked my best friend of 10 years not to tell me he wrote to her. Duh…That email was forwarded to my inbox in 7 minutes of receipt, 3 minutes after she called me to laugh at his antics. Are we in the 3rd grade?! I told him that was pathetic. I told him that he completely rubs me the wrong way and I do not want to keep someone like him as a friend.

Once I told him I was no longer interested in maintaining a friendship, he started on “Why? You never gave me a chance! I am a great guy and if you let me get you a cup of coffee you would see this?” I said, 4 months of actions will not be erased by 15 minutes of an actor talking to me.

Character actors can play a character for periods of time – 15 minutes is nothing. I have seen enough of this guy’s behavior to know that is it something I want nothing to do with. A cup of coffee won’t change my opinion. He proceeded to tell me that he was cool and drama-free. He told me all his friends say so and he could arrange for me to meet one of them so they could tell me in person. One thing, if someone has to keep telling you they are cool, they aren’t. Via text, I asked him if this is how he got all his friends, by wearing them down until they agreed to be his friend. He would make a killing in network marketing sales, because he never stops…he was excessive, manipulative, and required too much attention.

I then said, “Fine, let me cancel a shoot tomorrow that will pay half of one of my mortgages, skip out on my physical therapy appointment, not sterilize the studio for a company’s shoot in the morning, drive over to his area, which is 45 minutes from where I live – without traffic so you will have an opportunity to sell me what a great guy you are.” His response was, “Yes! That is all I ask!” I told him I have been in stores where I was absolutely intending on buying something, but because the salesperson was too pushy, I leave. I don’t care if it is the perfect color, has a great price, makes my waist look 19″, my chest look 40″, and my ass small.

He asked for the opportunity to meet me for an omelette to apologize in person. He wanted to call it the Omelette Treaty of 2008. I told him Treaty would be too strong of a word at this point. I thought, well, I should at least let him apologize. Maybe that will be good closure. I happened to be in his neck of the woods running errands a month or so ago.

Around 3PM, I sent him a text, saying I would be done with my merchant banking appointment around 5PM, maybe we can grab Starbucks and he can get the apology off his chest. I had been really sick and told him I was on the tired side, but had an hour or so to hang. He sent me a text saying he was at work until 9PM. I finished with the bank early, around 4:30PM. I was going to have dinner at my cousin’s in Carson, so I told him I didn’t want to hang out for 4 hours and we can reschedule for another time I was in town.

He texted me at 5:30, saying he was home, I told him I was already almost in Carson. He told me to come back, but I was not going to go back into the traffic. He proceeded to tell me that I was probably not even in the area and it was a bullshit story that I was going to meet him anyway. What an asshole. Yeah, I sure want to spend time with a jackass like that. Then he said he wanted to come over. I told him, as far as my family is concerned, he is a nutjob and they will seriously shoot him if he showed up at their house.

I printed up all the emails & text messages and completed a restraining order application. I submitted it in March and day of the court date, he texted that he hated all these fake people in Los Angeles and he was going back home to the South. I did not have a good address on him, so I could not have the papers served. I do have a private investigator finding this out, so I hope to have all the information I need soon. I erased all the emails for the file, but fortunately, more came in so I can share. Out of courtesy, I have left out his name and email address.

I just love how he apologizes and insults me in the same paragraph. My ultimate goal is to keep bi-polar sociopaths as friends.

Just for the record:

– No, celebrity has not gone to my head. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be the one cleaning the toilets after shoots that are done in my studio.
– As flattering as that may be, I know hundreds of men in Los Angeles who have not tried to fuck me.
– If you believe in Karma, then hopefully the person who won’t let you have peace and quiet actually does leave town like they keep threatening.
– I am working so much because I made the mistake of investing in SEVERAL properties and these ARMs are a challenge and a half.
– I am taking classes because I am trying to finish my website by myself.
– I do not spend time hating people. That is a lot of wasted energy. I am ambivalent.
– I never said I was retiring, just doing more work on the production side. My real estate ventures are what keep me performing in front of the camera for now.