Porn Valley- Robert Lombard has just blown out the candles on his birthday cake. And, by gum, he had some lung capacity left over. Lombard’s been clean and sober a long while but he’s telling this story about the time he and David Lee Roth were kicked off an airline for rowdy behavior, made to sit in an airport lounge without booze then get on a resuming flight only to be put in the airline equivalent of dunce chairs. I’m asking Lombard his thoughts on the fact of Avy Lee Roth’s claims that she’s Roth’s daughter. Lombard really doesn’t want to go there but raises his own personal doubts.

“Is she still telling that story?” he asks. I said, yeah, just recently on KSEX and Lombard points out that Scott Fayner, a Van Halen junkie to wide acclaim, is not a big Avy Lee fan as a result of these stories. For his part, Lombard states that Roth was never in the country where this conception allegedly took place. Personally, I’ve always thought that Avy Lee’s story was a yarn told by the wishful thinking campfire.

Someone brings up the comments made by Wankus the other night on KSEX regarding the fact that Lombard has “a dark side.” Lombard says, yeah, you try being funny opposite Wankus for five days straight. Lombard’s talking about this shoot they were on in which he and Wankus were judges. It was there that Lombard blames Wankus for bringing all the dark shit out in him.

Nick Lambert, who heads up Dusk Till Dawn Entertainment, www.dusktilldawnentertainment.com which produces the Sinsations series, moves out to California this week. He hasn’t even arrived officially, and Lambert already has a good porn accident story. It seems that someone smacked Lambert’s Mercedes to the tune of $4,000 in damages. No sooner did Lambert get it out of the shop, then he’s rammed again. The car goes back in the shop and the same day it comes out, his grandmother hits the car after visiting him. She calls him from her house and Lambert asked why she didn’t tell him right then at his house when she hit him. She told him it was raining and she figured she’d get wet.

With Lisa Ann and Jacy Andrews [pictured] taking a break to grab some sun by the pool, the conservation gets on to Nancy Vee. Vee said something about showing up to the Sinsations 4 set in honor of Lombard’s birthday, and Lombard would be amused if I got some stories out of her. And Vee over the years has assembled some interesting anecdotes. However, Vee doesn’t show- at least during the time I was there. She’s apparently back in the business and Lombard thinks she looks terrific except maybe for the time he saw her in a 7-Eleven trying to buy beer and cash a check. Lombard, who went to the store to by some cigarettes on his way to the office, gilds the story against a backdrop of transvestites roaming Santa Monica Blvd in the early Saturday morning hours. Lombard says there’s four trannies in the store and by this time of the morning, the glamour has faded and their growth is showing.

This is a fairly amusing story, but Lombard’s self-administered cackles make it funnier. According to Lombard, it’s summer but Vee’s wearing a winter coat and trying to keep it from falling off her body- at the same time attempting to cash this check. Vee’s accompanied by some over weight guy and the 7-Eleven not only will not cash her check but won’t sell her beer because it isn’t 6 am yet. Nonetheless, Vee manages to corral a bottle and is drinking from it.Vee, who’s also the same babe that fucked a 19 year old kid for a porn project mainstream director Larry Clark did. https://www.adultfyi.com/read.aspx?ID=8421, is swearing up and down to the clerk the check is good. Lombard’s thinking maybe this guy’s a trick and paid Vee with a trick check. But Vee’s telling the 7-Eleven clerk it was issued by a reputable porn company. Except the check was handwritten.

“I need money- I’m Nancy Vee! I’m a famous porn star,” she’s proclaiming.

Even with all that, Vee didn’t get the check cashed. Regarding the Clark project, Lombard, who cast it, also remembers having to shell out $500 to have the carpets cleaned because Vee left a mess in the office.

Mention of Clark also reminds Lombard of a story in which he got Vivid contract girl Cassidey a job shooting a calendar for a skateboard company with Clark apparently the photographer. Lombard talks about how Cassidey arrived on the set with Lisa the Lesbian- whose sole job it was to get her there- and there’s four Ford models ahead of them already armed with attitude. Lombard remembers how Cassidey and Lisa wanted to sexually attack the Ford girls along with the fact that Cassidey, apparently on, ahem, medication, couldn’t stand up straight during the audition. But this didn’t stop Cassidey from wanting to eat out one of the Ford models.

On another occasion Cassidey was hired for a softcore movie and, given the fact, that it was a five day shoot, it was even money that she’d flake. Lombard told the executive producer as much. When Cassidey showed up the first three days of it, the producer told Lombard he was apparently wrong about her. On the fourth day, Cassidey, reaching into the Ava Vincent playbook, was a no-show, no-call. And Lombard couldn’t help telling the producer I told you so.

On the fifth day, Cassidey, again, was nowhere to be found, entailing major re-writes because she was the show’s lead. It was discovered that Cassidey ran off to New York with Kendra Jade. The suspicion is they were doing some escort work. Nonetheless, it prompted Derek at LA Direct to toss Cassidey’s clothes out into the street. From what I’m told this is as much royal ceremony on Derek’s part as making a point. Feeling that his business and reputation was on the line, Derek was even willing to compensate the production for Cassidey’s fuck up.

But because there was a window of opportunity to salvage the show, a last ditch attempt is made to bring Cassidey in and possibly shoot some footage to tie some loose ends together. Except Cassidey, doing a marvelous impression of Peter O’Toole from My Favorite Year, shows up pretty much in the same condition as she did during the skateboard calendar audition. According to Lombard, they had to practically load Cassidey up against the door panel of a car to keep her from falling on her ass. Then, when it came time to be paid, Cassidey shows up at Lombard’s office, again, drunk off her ass. Cassidey’s story was that her meltdown was because of Derek’s yelling and Lombard told her it was wrong of her to punish him for some beef she had with Derek. Even though he had every reason on earth not to, Lombard paid Cassidey for the three days she put in, made it out to cash and gave her an authorization to cash the check at his bank. She didn’t cash the check until five days later.

Lombard further explains that Cassidey was originally considered for the Sinsations shoot, and this is why that didn’t happen.