Porn Valley- Nikki Benz was back doing her show at KSEX Wednesday night and her Pomeranian celebrated the occasion by taking a dump on the KSEX carpet. Benz went into hysterics, wishing everyone respective happy holidays according to race, color and creed.
Benz, who had been on the road the past four weeks, brought her dog along and set his “pee pad” on the floor. It didn’t take long before he left a Christmas gift. Prior to the incident, it was Benz’s co-host Tony Batman who made the announcement that people have pee’d on the floor in the past.
“People have pissed on the floor?” asked Benz incredulously.
“They call it ‘squirt’… but either way,” said Batman.
Before she went on her feature dance gigs, Benz enjoyed a vacation in the Dominican Republic.
“It was not a good idea,” she said. “I came back rested and now I’m tired. I came back before all this work I lined up, I shouldn’t have done that.”
Because she was on vacation, Benz wasn’t at the KSEX awards to pick up hers up.
“Monstar, my publicist, he was there and he accepted my award,” said Benz. “That’s all I know- he’s holding it ransom. He will not give me the award.” Benz said it was for Best Rack in the House. Batman said he was too busy partying to take real notice of what was going on and that, among other musicians, he had Bobby Brown at his table. Benz said she’d tell her Brown story if Batman told his.
“That’s where they decided to put the band,” he explained. “They’re sitting at our table and drinking and getting loud and you couldn’t hear anything on stage. [And neither could anyone else.] They’re just getting blasted and getting drunk and everything.”
According to Batman, Monica Mayhem yelled over to Brown and asked him to shut the fuck up.
“It was great,” Batman laughed. For his part, Batman won the Mike Rick Award.
“I’m the most productive slave KSEX has ever had,” he laughed.
Benz then told her story about how she was eating lunch at a sushi restaurant and Brown was there with friends.
“He’s acting really, like, odd- he’s really obnoxious and he’s singing and he’s loud,” Benz continued. “He burps. He keeps staring at me because maybe he jerked off to one of my movies the night before. And then he gets up, goes right beside my table and asks the waitress for matches. Then he starts dancing and singing. His cell phone rings and it’s one of his songs ringing. He’s an oddball. I’m sure he’s a nice guy but he has no manners. We need to bring him out here and teach him some manners.”
To which Batman said he made friends with Brown’s manager so it was possible they might be able to.
Batman said Brown tried singing My Prerogative at the awards show and forgot the lyrics to his own song. Regarding her award, Benz said she hasn’t received it as yet and that she’s asked Monstar for it.”He wants to keep it,” said Benz. “I would like that award.”
Benz called Monstar and told him it would be really cool if he presented it to her on her show.
“And he declined my offer.”
Benz went on to explain how she left her dog at “doggie day care” when she went on vacation. She went to pick him up and was told he tried humping every dog in sight.
“The thing is he humps male digs and female dogs,” said Benz.
According to Benz, the resort where she stayed had 8 swimming pools and 9 different restaurants.
“Basically I’m there to relax,” she said. “I’m there with my man. I’m at a buffet restaurant. I have no makeup on, My hair is super curly and I didn’t think anyone would recognize me. And so I’m eating and this guy comes up to me. He’s like I don’t mean to bother me. I don’t know how he recognized me. He must have seen me on the beach before.”
Benz said the guy asked if she would sign his napkin.
“He’s like you’re Nikki Benz- can you sign my napkin. I’m embarrassed. I’m a mess. I sign his napkin and I thought it was really odd that he would seriously recognize me. That night they have the fancy restaurants- I went to the restaurant with my boyfriend. I see that same guy with his wife and kid.” Benz said the guy wouldn’t even look her way when his wife and kid were around and that she should have gone up to him in front of his wife and said, hey, baby- how’s that autograph doing?
Benz mentioned that she also had a lot of anal sex on the beach.
“This place you had to be discreet because it’s a family resort and there’s a lot of little kids,” she noted. Batman said you can do that at Hedonism.
“There’s a certain area that has open sex,” he said. “You can do whatever you want. There are some kids there; and kids are not supposed to be allowed in that area.” Benz was surprised hearing that, under the impression that it was for 18 and over.
“Supposed to be,” said Batman who talked about how the last time he went to the resort he tried some marijuana got stoned and couldn’t remember anything for the rest of the day.
“I’m such a light weight.”
Benz said she’s tried smoking weed but it puts her to sleep.
“It’s not my thing at all.” On another disturbing note, Benz talked about the time she went to Hawaii where there was a nude beach.
“There were nude parents with their nude kids. That was Hawaii- that was odd to me. Hey, dad, how’s your wiener?”After she came back from vacation, Benz had to go to Phoenix to feature dance.
“The funny thing, is, I was supposed to be in Kansas City,” she said. “Apparently Kansas City had some kind of storm and all the power got shut down. They had no power. And the city of Kansas City is coming down hard on all these strip clubs. So last minute they were we’re not going to send you there, you’re going to Phoenix.”
Benz, instead, went to Scottsdale where there’s a lot of “snobby people”.
“And a lot of gay guys- there were so many hot guys and they were all gay. I don’t get it. They all look like hairdressers and they all wear pink shirts.”
Benz also celebrated a birthday this month on December 11 and thanked all the people on MySpace who gave her birthday wishes.
To celebrate, Benz went to Vegas and stayed at the Wynn.
“They got this restaurant and a waterfall so when you’re eating- it’s right in front of a waterfall. It’s so cool.” Benz said she went to a niteclub and on that day they were giving away breast implants.
“People were handing out dollars to these girls who looked like they needed breast implants the most. At the end of the night, the girl with the most special dollars would win a set of breast implants.”
Batman thought it was a fucked up contest from a girl’s point of view. Benz said if she were in that position and really wanted implants she’d be all for it.
“I said this before and I’ll say it again- every girl when she turns 18 and is flat-chested, she should automatically get implants. The government should have some kind of medicare. I think every girl should be at least a B-cup. At least.”
“We’ll call it the Vanity Bill,” Batman suggested.