Houston- According to the movie Full Metal Jacket, steers and queers come from Texas. And, possibly, roadside blackouts as well. In the latter case, Porn Steve Seidman knows that to be a fact. I spoke to Porno Steve this morning and he tells me he’s lucky to be alive. According to Steve he was in his car doing sales calls and pulled into a parking lot because he felt a little shitty. Next thing, he wakes up six hours later. “I totally blacked out,” he says. “I don’t know what it was. Thank God no one had bothered me. But I wake up- I know I left in the day time and it was night time. I was just on the highway doing my sales calls.”

Seidman said he went to the doctors and they sent him to the hospital for tests. “I’m just waiting to hear from them,” he says. “Fuck, I hate being old! Other than that my sugar’s been a little high lately.” When he woke up, Seidman noticed that he had received 33 missed calls on his cellphone most of them from John Gray. “As soon as I got going I called John. Right now I’m on pins and needles waiting for a doctor to call me.”