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Rocco Celebrates a Birthday

Sometimes confused with the African porn star, Rocco Safari, Rocco Siffredi celebrates a birthday May 4.

Another misconception we’d like to clear up is the story about Rocco taking his name from the British invasion band of the Sixties, Freddy and the Dreamers. Rocco, in fact derives his handle from Alain Delon’s tough guy character in Borsalino- proof that fact is way more uninteresting than fiction.

Born in Ortona, Abruzzo, Italy, Rocco had a happy childhood and made extra money competing in Robert Palmer lookalike contests. But, alas, his house is now divided over his porn career.

Making no bones about it, Rocco’s five brothers aren’t crazy about what he does for a living- a matter that leads to some interesting but tense moments during family reunion soccer matches. On the other hand, judging from past press, Rocco’s father and mother practically gush over the fact that he’s had liaisons with nearly 5,000 women outside the sacred bonds of Matrimony. And, as we all know from watching The Sopranos, fidelity and commitment is very important in Italian households.

That being said, Rocco in 1991 married Rosa Caraccioli, a former Miss Hungary- which is a good trick for an Italian woman. Their 17 year bond has not only been about love, but, let’s face it, about commerce, as well, and making those villa payments.

During their long time together, the Siffredis have slaved away at a slapstick comedy project titled Rocco and Rosa Buy Budapest. Any year is the word on this hot ticket.

Master of screen romance, the choke hold and galloping anus trick, Rocco has won over 40 major porn awards including an AVN Best Director for Who Fucked Rocco- a poignant story about a gullible performer, a shady porn company and a check they swore went out in the mail from Santa Clarita.

Rocco’s celebrated Animal Trainer series, likewise, has received the stamp of approval from the Clyde Beatty estate.

Our favorite Rocco story is the time we were doing an AVN piece on God knows whatever and had to contact Rocco, in a matter of dire urgency, overseas. Rocco gets on the phone like he’s never heard of AVN and goes, swear-to-God, “I know some many pipples.” He was apologetic.

Another true story. In 2002, Rocco flew to the Russian federation of St. Petersburg with the idea that he was going to work with the Russian gash queen Tanya Tanya. Rocco must have forgotten the minor detail of calling Tanya beforehand, so when he gets there, she turns him down flatter than a sat on pierogie.

“I know some many pipples,” was her rumored unapologetic reply. A later development was the suspicion that Rocco had confused her with Tanya Skooblekova a mail order émigré living in St. Petersburg, Florida. A slight mix-up in zip codes was attributed to the amusing embarrassment.

In the latter part of his career, Rocco’s appeared in several art house films which are big on the intellectual snob circuit. In one he plays a handsome bisexual with an Italian accent whose gender conquest for the evening is determined by a coin flip. Rumor has it Javier Bardeem used the clever concept in No Country for Old Men but killed people with a cattle gun instead.

Known as “The Golden Penis” in Europe, a mainstream film about Rocco’s life was set to have come out earlier this year. But some minor script changes were deemed necessary to give it a PG-13 rating. You probably know it as The Golden Compass.

And to think this storied career began with a centerfold in Playgirl magazine back in 1990. But the good news is that Rocco, now at 44, in a spirit of retro celebration will recreate the vibe for Assisted Living Magazine.

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