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Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Jenna Jameson, Dan Miller and the Farrah Abraham Sex Tape Debacle

Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.

The Lindsay Lohan award goes to walking train wreck and porn industry legend, Jenna Jameson.

When not getting plastic surgery on her various body parts or having domestic issues with her idiot boyfriend or being sued for failing to live up to a signed contract, Jenna finds time to tiptoe back and forth across the legal lines.

To follow up her arrest for DUI last year in which she crashed her car into an unsuspecting light pole, last Saturday Jenna was arrested for punching her tranny assistant, Britney Markham, with her brass knuckles iPhone.

Reports indicate Jenna barged into a Newport Beach salon and started bitching at Markham, and eventually punched her in the stomach and back with the weaponized device.

Markham claims Jameson then threatened, “I’ll f***ing kill you.”

Markham definitely was the worse for wear, landing in the hospital.

On Twitter, Jameson gave a significantly different account of the incident. She claimed a friend broke into her house and robbed her. The friend, she said, “accused me of gusting her.”

Currently, neither Jenna nor the person that ‘robbed’ her has been charged with a crime yet the options for a lawsuit always remain possible.

The Quote of the Week is bestowed upon the chief flunky over at the Free Speech Coalition, Diane Duke.

Duke was basically lamenting the fact that the adult industry isn’t getting a fair shake in the imminent passage of AB 332 which will mandate condoms in porn movies shot in California when she is quoted by AVN’s Mark Kernes:

“A lot of people disapprove of the fact that we’re having conversations with Republicans, but my experience of coming to the capital time and time again is that whether it’s a tax bill or AB 332, the Republicans are going to save our asses at this point.”

Try and sleep well at night knowing that’s the type of leadership you have in this industry.

The Seka Mathematical Institute presents its award for stupidity above and beyond logical mathematics and equations to the executive managing editor of XBIZ, Dan Miller.

Miller was quoted in a Huffington Post story in which he claims revenue for the adult entertainment industry has fallen from a mythical figure of $13-14 billion in 2005 to the current fairy-tale number of ‘just over $5 billion now.’

Miller said that DVD sales are “down sharply” since peaking in 2005, and online services — like adult websites, video on demand and live cameras — account for only $2 billion in annual revenue, which is between 35 and 40 percent of overall industry revenue.

Trying to nail down revenue figures relating to the porn industry is about as hard as trying to find a Nevada politician who is openly campaigning for the porn industry to move to that state.

The My Daddy is a Suitcase Pimp award goes the wannabe porn star and D-list celebrity, Farrah Abraham’s father, Michael Abraham.

Before presenting Mr. Abraham with his prestigious award I’ll recap the past events that led up to this spectacular moment.

Monday news broke that the ‘Teen Mom’ shot a celebrity sex tape [possibly with her ex-boyfriend] and it was currently being shopped around various industry companies.

Later that same day the celebrity sex tape hype machine kicked in when reports surfaced that Farrah staunchly denied the existence of said tape.

Surprise! Vivid Entertainment’s president, Papa Smurf, confirmed to TMZ that he saw the video and confirmed Farrah was featured in the footage. Somehow, however, Smurf failed to tell TMZ that her co-star wasn’t her boyfriend as previously speculated but was in fact adult porn star, James Deen. [Funny how that slipped his mind.]

This sex tape boondoggle started to unravel into a giant clusterfuck when Deen told TMZ, “Word travels fast … it isn’t even edited yet. We shot it yesterday.”

Attempting to save this now sinking ship, Smurf was quoted as saying about the sex tape, “It’s amazing … and I’m doing everything in my power to get the rights to put it out.”

Farrah’s mother, Debra Danielsen, grabbed her own two seconds of fame when she pronounced her daughter’s not the type that would make a sex tape, BUT IF SHE DID it’s not her fault. She says, “My daughter has never expressed interest in things like that. She was not brought up that way.” [Really, Mom? Your daughter starred in a show about knocked-up teenagers. Fine job: we applaud your skills as a mother.]

Making friends by the minute at Vivid, on Tuesday James Deen pissed in Smurf’s oatmeal by revealing it was all a setup. Deen believed the ruse began to unravel when he and Farrah were shot leaving Vivid’s offices. “Everybody’s trying to make it this story, but really [Farrah] wanted to make a sex tape,” he said.

On Wednesday Farrah finally admitted to the scam after previous denials earlier in the week yet continued to hype the tape by claiming her lawyer was working out a deal to sell it. She obviously didn’t know that Deen had revealed that she was already paid for her performance.

Friday the Huffington Post ran a story in which they interviewed Farrah’s devout Christian father, Michael Abraham. He called Deen “very abusive.”

Stopping there for a moment, while I read the story I surmised that Michael must have visited some porn tube sites and watched Deen in action. Deen can act pretty rough with his co-stars at times.

But no, Michael wasn’t talking about Deen’s on-screen demeanor. He was pissed because Deen supposedly broke a non-disclosure agreement by talking to the press about his daughter’s sham sex video.

Michael said, “I think there is no disregard for the individual, Farrah, or her family. I do not know the individual personally, but based on information I do know, he is exhibiting very abusive behavior,”

Still trying desperately to pump up the relevance of this bogus production, Michael continues, “If somebody wants to do something in private, in that it is not to be made public, it should be respected. Let’s be adults about this.”

Yes, Abraham, let’s be adults. I suspect he and Farrah, along with Vivid, concocted this phony money making publicity stunt when it was completely unnecessary. If this production was marketed as her coming out party to porn it would have saved them a lot of embarrassment and ridicule.

Deen put it very succinctly: “She signed a model release and she got paid. I don’t think she was aspiring to create this sex tape. I think it was something that was presented to her. But I really have no idea what happened on her end,” he said.


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