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Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Lindsay Lohan, Paul Cambria, Kayden Kross and Ira ‘Scatman’ Isaacs Receive Gold Stars this Week

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Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.’s Rookie Escort of the Year award goes to Lindsay Lohan.

RadarOnLine reports that Lohan is desperate for money [that’s how porn careers start] and according to her father, Michael, is still living the high life by working as a professional escort.

“She is getting paid to date rich men,” Michael said of his 26-year-old daughter. “Dina (Lindsay’s mother) is pimping her out – it’s disgusting!”

“The dates last for days, and the guys pay for everything – hotel, travel costs, food, whatever – as well as jewelry and other gifts,” someone close to the actress revealed.

So far, no one is suggesting that Lohan is doing anything more than act as arm candy but if guys are dropping that kind of Trump I’d be surprised if they’re not getting a little more than a simple photo op.

The Mainstream Really Loves You award goes to the producers of Lindsay Lohan and James Deen’s film, The Canyons.

Apparently the producers where stunned, nay, shocked, that their flick has been rejected by The Sundance Film Festival and they think it’s largely Lindsay’s fault. They think Lindsay was a “turn off” to the highfalutin Sundance folk [read: Robert Redford] although it probably didn’t help that the film also starred porn’s number one male performer, James Deen.

TMZ reported that apparently Deen is taking the rejection in stride by quoting him concerning The Sundance Film Festival, “It coincides with AVN (the porn awards). Priorities man!!!!!”

Obviously Deen’s priorities are a little fucked up.

The Stay on Point award goes to porn attorney Paul Cambria and Kayden Kross.

In one story this week concern Measure B, Cambria uses the tried and true economic angle of the impact on the porn industry: “I can tell you they are leaving L.A. County in droves,” he said. “It’s a multi-billion dollar industry that employs thousands of people, and ever since this all started they have been leaving and filming in places other than L.A. County.”

Cambria said that if studios leave Los Angeles County because of the law then adult film workers would have less protection, not more, because “what you’re doing is taking it to a place where there will be no rules.”

Well, apparently rules don’t apply any place porn would be shot; at least that’s what Kayden Kross related in another story this week.

Kross says producers will go underground or move out of California, rather than comply with any condom laws.

“Part of the culture of porn is, ‘Eh, we’ll see if they catch us,’ ” says Kross.”Which is terrible to say, but also true. We’re kind of like the renegade. We do what we want. We’re the Wild West. … Everyone’s like, ‘Catch me if you can!'”

Hollow threats and thumbing your nose at laws is exactly the fuel supporters of Measure B are looking for to show lawmakers and the public that this industry is completely unable to regulate itself.

The Folson Prison Blues award goes to Ira ‘Scatman’ Isaacs.

Following the likes of Rob Black and Max Hardcore, Isaacs was sentenced Wednesday morning to 48 months in federal prison and fined $10,000 at federal court in Los Angeles.

Isaacs was found guilty in April 2012 on five counts of violating federal obscenity laws over the distribution of “Mako’s First Time Scat, ” “Hollywood Scat Amateurs #7,” “Hollywood Scat Amateurs #10” and “Japanese Doggie 3 Way.”

It was the third obscenity trial for the distributor and producer, who all along contended that the works he had been charged with have artistic value and can’t be deemed obscene.

The Attack of the 50-inch Breasted Woman award goes to Donna Lange.

Lange, a 51-year-old woman from Everett, Wash., is believed to have suffocated her boyfriend to death with her breasts on Saturday, Jan. 12, according to Seattle’s KIRO 7 Eyewitness News. Deputies, called to the Airport Inn trailer park at 12:45 a.m. for a disturbance report, found medics performing CPR on Lange’s 51-year-old alleged boyfriend, who was later pronounced dead at Swedish Hospital.

KIRO 7 reports that witnesses claims they saw Lange throw her boyfriend down in the back of the mobile home. She was later found by witnesses with her chest covering the victim’s face. Police noted the size difference between Lange and her boyfriend — she was 5-feet, 6-inches and 192 pounds, he was 5-feet, 7-inches and 175 pounds.


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