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Sean Looks at the Week of 8/15/2010 In Review; Aurora Snow Gets The Boo-Hoo-Hoo Award

Sean from writes: AdultFYI goes out of its way to bring you the latest in the world of the stupid…

The U-Haul award winner is Janine Lindemulder.

Come September 7th, Porn Valley will be short one porn star and Texas will have yet another celebrity living in a trailer park. Janine informed RadarOnLine that she will be making the move in order to be closer to her daughter and ex-husband Jesse James.

“I will live in a modest trailer park, and I’ve already told Sunny [her daughter] that she will go from the mansion to the trailer but I’ll do whatever it takes to be close to my daughter,” Janine said.

Janine already has a career path in mind. No, it’s nothing in adult: “When I get to Texas I will be looking for a part time job as a waitress if somebody will have me with all my tattoos!” she said.

Although James is paying Janine $36,000 a year in child support, she also wants it to be known: “I don’t want people to think I am some kind of free-loader because I am not.”

That’s right, the court told her she wasn’t going to be one: At her last court date, her lawyer told an Orange County court she now needed $9,000 a-month in child support, with $3,500 delegated to help with her transition, TMZ reported. That request was rejected.

We wish nothing but success to Janine as she follows her meal ticket to Texas to start a new life. With any luck we can finally close the book on yet another porn industry success story.

The Hypocrite award goes to the city of Sturgis, South Dakota.

It was reported this week that the city of Sturgis denied an occupancy permit for an adult bookstore.

“We need something better than that,” said Edna Cox, a resident of Sturgis. Her husband Harvey piled up, “It’s no good,” he said. “I think Sturgis wants some kind of business but not that kind of business. I don’t want to see that here.”

Ah, yes, Sturgis South Dakota. A God fearing community that every year for the last 70 or so has played host to the world’s largest motorcycle rally. An estimated 500,000 blockheads descend on that community fueled by drugs and alcohol turning the city into the world’s largest community toilet. But no, they sure don’t want an adult bookstore ruining the pristine nature of that city.

The Penny Flame Boo Hoo Hoo award goes to Aurora Snow.

Aurora Snow blogs lamenting the fact that because of her age, opportunities in the adult industry have declined for her: “Those first couple of years, I was in demand—a new face, fresh, hot, and most importantly, young. Because as I quickly learned, when you work in the porn industry, ‘barely legal’ is synonymous with ‘VIP.’ Now I’m 28—and dismissed by directors as over the hill. How did I go from ‘barely legal’ to ‘older woman’ so fast?”

However, Aurora continues to persevere: “There are still new genres to explore—the world of bondage, submission, and domination, for one—all branches of the same tree. I have only just begun to sample its fruit.”

Doing fetish is like living in North Jersey instead of Manhattan, but we wish her the best anyway.

Quote of the week – “Middle Men” producer Christopher Mallick said he was uncertain if audiences would view his movie about the adult industry as a sympathetic one, but added, “I think the taboo of porn is so old; people are over that.”

That may be the case, but it appears the movie going public thought his movie sucked.

The Peter North Memorial Hero award winner is Michael Wayne Edwards Jr.

Edwards has an odd way for showing affection toward ladies in supermarkets. He likes to fill an eye dropper full of his own dick snot and walk up behind unsuspecting female shoppers and blast it in their hair and all over their clothing. Although that’s not the way we would start a conversation with some hottie in the frozen food section, we admire creativity.

We would love to present his trophy personally, but he is being held on a $50,000 bond and we already spent our dry cleaning budget for the month.

The Little Miss Slander Pants award goes to Montana Fishburne.

On Sunday, August 8, Montana wrote on her Twitter page, “Jamie Foxx has sex with guys. Jamie Foxx actually has a gay porno in the works with Vivid. Don’t believe me just ask him about it and tell him I told ya’ll.”

After reading her Twitter page, it appears one of her homeys must have read her the definition of slander. For the following day she told RadarOnLine regarding the Tweet: “I heard about this from friends this morning. I knew nothing about it until I looked it up on the web. I’ve had no contact with Jamie Foxx on this.”

The old dog ate my homework excuse. Nice try, idiot.

Go Duck Yourself award goes to April Magolon.

This goofball claims that while visiting Disney’s Epcot Park, she approached Donald Duck for an autograph. However, she then claims Donald grabbed her breast and molested her.

In her lawsuit against Disney she claims the following injuries: post-traumatic stress disorder – “severe physical injury,” a “shock to her entire nervous system,” “muscle contraction headaches,” “acute anxiety,” “nausea, cold sweats, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, digestive problems” and other conditions that are “permanent in nature.”

All of that from a little tit squeeze and grab ass? After reading that list of “injuries” one would suspect she was a survivor of the Bataan Death March. I can only imagine the trauma she must endure when she accidentally bumps into someone at the grocery store. Oh the horror, the horror.

The Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver award goes to Montana Fishburne.

Not only does the happy hooker come off as being a crackpot, it now appears she allegedly has a nasty little mean streak in her as well. Fishburne was arrested in February for allegedly breaking into the home of her boyfriend’s ex and forcing her into the bathroom and using the girl’s head as a pair of bongos causing “significant injuries.”

I can’t wait to see what happens when Vivid’s little diva gets pissed on one of her movie shoots and takes it out on the cast and crew. Yeah, she’s a great role model.


> Did Florida Gubernatorial Candidate Rick Scott Profit From Porn? – Read the story here:

> The Naughty Show: Nikki Benz Is Headlining The Funniest – And Filthiest Show On Earth – Not in Fargo she isn’t. Read the hype here:

> License Rejected for Fargo Strip Club – No, really, everyone just loves adult entertainment. And it’s so mainstream, you know. Read the story here:

> François Sagat: From Gay Porn to Auteur Cinema – Read the story here:

> Lessons from Las Vegas’ sex workers’ conference – “The book made it possible for me to avoid dangerous mistakes I might have otherwise made.” Read the story here:

> Hewlett Packard hit with lawsuit over Hurd’s departure – And the lawyers get rich. Read the story:

> Anna Paquin Purchases New Sensations’ Adult Parody for Entire Cast & Crew of “True Blood” – Read the hype:

> Miss Universe Organization Slammed for Contestants’ Topless Photo Shoot – I fail to see the problem. Read the story here:

> Grand Jury Indicts Senate Candidate Alvin Greene on Obscenity Charge – Someone the Democrats can be proud of. Read the story here:

> Serena Marcus and Shay Lynn Rock Planet Porn – Read the hype:

> Bailey Jay Signs With Star Factory For Publicity – Read the hype:

> A Wet Week with Bluebird Films’ Teen Squirts – Read the hype:

> Shelley Lubben Profiled: “I have suffered much at the hands of the porn industry” – Same propaganda, different day. Read the story here:

> Kelsey Grammer Knocks Up a Virgin Atlantic Flight Attendant – At 29 she is 26 years his junior – while he is two years older than her father, ex-Bristol City player Alan Walsh. Read the story here:

> Paul Reubens, aka Pee-wee Herman, defends public masturbation arrest in Playboy interview – “Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify…” Read the story here:

> Queens cop files Sex Harassment Suit After Thong Video Incident – “He asked me out on several occasions and when I told him ‘No,’ he retaliated against me…” Read the story here:

> How Philadelphia’s City Hall is helping porn peddler – Yet, just when it seemed the Forum’s days were numbered, it was cleared for expansion by the city’s own Zoning Board…Read the story here:

> Montana Fishburne Insists She’s a Role Model – Time for this Hollywood demon seed to crawl back into her hole. Read the story here:

> Penny Flame Speak Outs on Montana Fishburne – “I’d say she should start going to therapy now.” Read the story here:

> Former Private CEO Seeks Injunction Against the Company – The suit claims the company is mismanaged by its present chairman and board of directors. Read the story here:

> Jay Rock comes on board as the newest Immoral Productions director – Appears he’s also in training for Celebrity Rehab. Read the hype here:

> Brawl, Murder, Machete, Baseball bats Result in Club Balloons Losing Its licenses – “…This licensee created an unreasonable risk of harm not only to its patrons but to the safety of the public at large” Read the story here:

> War Machine to Be Sentenced; A Year in Jail is Expected – pleaded guilty last month to two felony charges of assault by means of force likely to produce great bodily injury. Read the story here:

> This Ain’t Cops XXX Parody Coming Soon to DVD and Blu-ray – Creativity in this industry is officially dead. Read the hype here:

> Private Media Group’s Gay Content Division Launches State-of-the-Art VOD Platform – ‘Maleflixxx Mobile’ – Read the story here:

> Indiana Lion’s Den Closes After 5 Year Court Fight – A judge has ruled that the store should not be grandfathered in. Read the story here:

> Julie Simone in Mainstream Video for Front Line Assembly – Read the hype:

> Sara Jay Makes Her First Ever Stop in Detroit This Weekend – Read the hype and see her tits here:

> Exxxotica Expo, the Country’s Largest Adult Event, Returns to New Jersey – Read the hype:

> Update: California MILF held on $4.3-million bail on underage sex charges; hotels, nude photos – The charges include counts of oral copulation, lewd acts on a child, and exhibition of lewd material to a minor. Read the story here:

> Update: Missouri Adult industry takes law to court; 17 Plaintiffs – Read the story here:

> Ex-Cop with Porn Past Can Keep Certification – “The film was just their way of dismissing me and getting rid of their gay officer.” Read the story here:

> More on the Montana Fishburne Assault Charges – “We filed an amended complaint that we’re expecting will be approved at the next court date that will bring it up to four misdemeanor charges.” Read the story here:

> ee Roy Myers announces New Adult Parody Projects, including Sci-Fi Classic Tron – Read the hype:

> Met’s Pitcher Johan Santana Reported to Have Offered Seven Figures to Make Sex Case Go Away – Santana has claimed the sexual encounter was consensual. Read the story here:

> Jury Awards Former Employee $192,000 in Playboy Sex Case – Hef will have to layoff half of his girlfriends to cover the cost. Read the story here:

> If you Live in Austin, Texas, Janine’s Moving to a Trailer Park Near You – “Seriously, I am a good mom and I want to set a good example for my daughter so I will also be enrolling in college.” Read the story here:

> Montana Fishburne in Brutality Case- Assault with Deadly Weapon Charges – The judge could use the pending case to violate her probation. Read the story here:

> Penny Flame On the Differences Between Being a Prostie and a Porn Star – It must be the heat, but it’s a pretty on target piece. See, I can be nice. Read the story here:

> Joanna Angel Presents Burning Angel’s ‘Fuckabilly’ – Read the hype:

> “Do You Have First Amendment Rights in San Francisco Parks or Not?” – Read the story here:

> Craigslist responds to sex ad accusations – Read the story here:

> Indonesia blocks access to four million porn sites; “Cause of Moral Decay” – That’ll really take a chunk out of sales. Read the story here:

> Palgrave Macmillan acquires Larry Flynt’s take on the presidents’ sex lives – “We are undoubtedly excited about publishing Larry Flynt and David Eisenbach’s One Nation Under Sex in the Spring.” Read the story here:

> Inspiration to Montana Fishburne: 5 Porn Stars Who’ve Crossed Over in a Big Way – And somehow they forget the most famous crossover star, Marilyn Chambers. Punk kids. Read the story here:

> Enthusiasm Surrounding Release of News Sensations’ “Sex Files 2” Trailer Prompts Exclusive Preview – Read the hype:

> Alleged Rape Victim Sues NY Mets Pitcher in The Infamous Jacked Off On Her Leg Case – Looking for a payday. He should have bought her lunch. Read the story here:

> Jodie Fisher Also Posed Naked for Playboy – Good heavens, she showed a tit in Playboy 30 fucking years ago. Read the story here:

> Johnny Blaze Brags About “Some of the Best Payouts in the Adult Film Business” – A special kind of stupid here.

> Fishburne to Radio Station: She Would Be Proud If Her Daughter Were in Porn; Hear the Interview – Montana said she doesn’t feel painted into a corner by her decision to do porn, as she said she can “go into a lot of different branches of the entertainment industry. Read the story here:

> Digital Playground’s ‘Body Heat’ firehouse porn; see the Trailer – Read the hype:

> Private BitTorrent Tracker Hit Again By Lucas Ent.; “Lucas Has Ignored The Use of DMCA Notices” – Read the story here:

> AHF’s Lawyer: XBiz Abandoning Pretense of defending the free speech rights of the Adult Industry – “XBIZ’s rejection of AHF’s open letter to the adult film community about our public health campaign to require the use of condoms in the production of all adult films is the height of hypocrisy…” Read the story here:

> Final Arguments in Playboy Sex Bias Trial; Plaintiff Had Been Seriously Damaged Says Her Lawyer – “She’s revising history,” Mills said. “She’s trying to change what happened.” Read the story here:

> Cop Fired Over Porn Film Fights Back – Hollywood police spokesman Lt. Manny Marino said Tuesday his department would not comment on the Verdugo case. Read the story here:

> Vivid Gives Montana Fishburne Multi-Picture Deal – No word yet if Montana will take Vivid up on their new offer. Read the story here:

> $5,500 Jessica Drake Real Doll Unveiled on The Howard Stern Show – Just like the real one: it’s cold and just lays there. Read the story here:

> Update: The wheelchair, the strip club and Joe Redner – Read the story here:

> New Copenhagen club targets stripping and poker lovers – What a novel idea. Read the story here:

> Philly Neighbors to Risque Video: Don’t Flash Us – Risque Video, which specializes in pornographic films and sex toys, was granted a variance to install a LED digital billboard…Read the story here:

> Julie Simone Is Cracking the Whip in August – Read the hype:

> Lawsuit Filed Over Missouri Strip Club Law: “Violates Free Speech Rights” – Read the story here:

> Sophie Turner Denies Links to Spencer Pratt’s 3D Boob Movie; And Apparently Thinks a Lot of Herself – “I have never met or spoken to Spencer Pratt; I have no involvement in his tactless project, nor do I have any interest in being involved.” Read the story here:

> Wicked Pictures Releases Sophisticated New “Speed” Trailer On YouTube – Read the hype:

> Bluebird’s Ben Dover’s Studio Sluts, Volume 1, available now on DVD – Read the hype here:

> Jodie Fisher’s Most Important Movie: ‘Night Nurses From Jersey’ – The economy is shit and we’re fighting two wars, but somehow the press thinks this fucking nobody is worth the space. Read the story here:

> Playboy Sex Bias Trial Moves to Psychiatrist; Plaintiff Was Allegedly Called a “Fat Pig” and a “Slut” – Read the story here:

> Jason Bateman Shuts Down Porn Site – He said because of all the free porn, the site was no longer profitable…or maybe not. Read the story here:

> Montana Fishburne Glad Her Movie Wasn’t “Jock-Blocked” – “I want people to see it,” she said. “I want people to buy my movie.” Read the story here:

> Zero Tolerance Set To Release Psychological Thriller “Sanatorium” with Tabitha Stevens – Read the story here:

> Celebs mix with Ron Jeremy, Mary Carey at ‘Middle Men’ preem – Mary Carey has a face on her only a bass fisherman could love. Read the story here:

> Playboy’s circulation drops 34%; Pretty Soon Hefner’s Going to Be Owning 100% of Nothing – Don’t worry, Hef, that Playboy logo is worth billions. Read the story here:

> Sex scandal that felled HP’s Hurd leaves questions about Jodie Fisher – “I was surprised and saddened that Mark Hurd lost his job over this,” she said in a prepared statement. This cunt is not good. Read the story here:

> The Road Through Wonderland: Surviving John Holmes – Another Shelley Lubben/Linda Lovelace porn industry “victim.” Read this bag of camel crap here:

> Strippers Give Ohio Church Tit for a Tat; Protest in Bikinis After Years of Harassment – Read the press release/news story here:

> Plaintiff Julie Crouch Testifies in Sex Bias Trial Against Playboy – Read the story here:

> Sasha Grey appears naked and hairy on “Entourage,” Twitterverse explodes with outrage and disgust – Who knew a woman’s body in its natural form could so disturb such aggressively heterosexual dudes? Read the story here:

It appears she was confused and figured she was starring in the remake of the Planet of the Apes.

> Janine Denied Child Support Increase to Fund Texas Move – Lindemulder’s lawyer told an Orange County court she now needed $9,000 a-month in child support…Read the story here:

> Quest for Ethically Sound Porn: Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry series an example of It – Read the story here:

> Lucas Entertainment Targets More File-Sharers – The latest suit seeks an injunction against the defendants, as well as damages and attorneys fees. Read the hype:

> Fantasia Speaks Out About Sex Tape Scandal – Fantasia will weather this storm with the dignity and grace…Read the story here:

> Mel Gibson’s Father: The Pope’s Homo and So Is Half the Vatican – Appears the insane lunatic doesn’t fall far from the tree. Read the story here:

> Mallick’s Middle Men Tanks at The Box Office – “Middle Men,” about the beginnings of the online porn industry, grossed just $305,000 at 252 theaters, giving it an average take of only $1,210. Read the story here:

> Mary Jo Buttafuoco: Amy Fisher Fluffs it off, and I’m still living with the injuries – “Amy hates herself. What this is, is self-loathing.” Read the story here:

> Howard Stern Has Gay Dirt on Jamie Foxx? – Read the story here:

> Room for Titties Out Biker Rallies But Not an Adult Bookstore in Sturgis – “I think Sturgis wants some kind of business but not that kind of business. I don’t want to see that here.” Read the story here:

> Castle Megastore- AVN’s Outstanding Retail Chain of the Year; Names Nina Hartley Resident Sex Expert – It’s amazing what we define as an ‘expert’ these days. Read the hype:

> Sin City, Signing a One-Year Deal, Ready to Start ‘Dropping Loads’ with Nick Manning – Read the hype:

> Strippers cited following lap dance dispute – All three could pay $208.50 for their disorderly conduct citations. Read the story here:

> The Julie Crouch Update: Sex Bias Trial Against Playboy – Read the story here:

> Hefner: Filling His Holes with Love – At his age it’s usually Glycerin suppositories. Read the story here:

> Update: Lee Roy Myers Directs Porn Parody, The Human Sexipede, For Tom Byron Pictures – Read the hype:

> With Subscription Bases Down, Magazines to Starlets: We Want You Naked – Don’t think it’ll help. Read the story here:

> Laura Ramsey Plays Porn Star in Middle Men – Read the interview here: To get into character she had a lobotomy.

> Montana Fishbure Claims Jamie Foxx Has Sex with Guys and Vivid Will Release the Tape – “Jamie Foxx actually has a gay porno in the works with Vivid. Don’t believe me just ask him about it and tell him I told ya’ll.” Read the story here:

> Deadline Extended in Casey Affleck Sex Harassment Case – If some kind of settlement is reached before then, the cases could be dismissed. Read the story here:

> “When Did Doing Porn Become A Stepping Stone For Success?” – I guess this writer never heard of Oscar Award winning actress, Sasha Grey. Read the story here:

> Stagliano, Attorneys Speak at AVN Show – I hope nobody breaks an arm patting themselves on the back. Read the hype here:

> See the Hewlett Packard Salome Jodie Fisher in Action – According to her IMDB page, she’s starred in several films that, judging by their titles, are “sexy” in nature. Read the story here:

> Report: “Porn”, Dating Show Chick Behind Hewlett-Packard Sex Scandal – “I was surprised and saddened that Mark Hurd lost his job over this,” Fisher said in a statement. Read the story here:

> Meet Sethesha: Transgendered and Trying to Break into Hollywood – If that doesn’t work out, the Bears are always looking for linebackers. Read the story here:

> Montana Fishburne — Mom’s Got My Back – Do you get the impression that everything coming out of this broad’s mouth is bullshit? Read the story here: www.adultfyi


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