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Sean Looks at the Week of 8/15/2010 in Review; The Colonel Gets The If It’s Pee-Pee, It’s Creepy Award

Sean from www.pornlegends.com writes: AdultFYI goes out of its way to bring you the latest in the world of stupid…

The Captain Kidd Award goes to Private’s Berth Milton for his enlightened if not novel take on what piracy is doing to the adult business. Read Milton’s comments and see if it’s not like the Captain of the Titanic saying he liked extra ice in his scotch.

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43578

The Phil Harvey Flushing Political Donations Down the Toilet award goes to Cyan Banister, owner of the adult website Zivity.com.

Some day the members of the adult industry will realize that making political donations to their favorite candidate only releases a giant shit storm for that person.

Case in point: Cyan and her husband donated $4,800 to Republican senate hopeful Rand Paul’s campaign. After doing a background check on all his contributors, people against Paul’s candidacy are having a field day bashing this guy for accepting money from an adult orientated business.

“A lot of Kentuckians would have a problem with a candidate accepting money from organizations that are tearing down the culture,” said Martin Cothran, a policy analyst for The Family Foundation of Kentucky. “And we assume that the Paul campaign understands that.”

Now more that likely her check will be returned.

Maybe next time Banister should just send a suitcase full of cash to her favorite candidate and keep her name out of it: At least that’s how in works in Washington. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43627

The first FYI Hero of the Week award goes to Devon James’ mother, Sandra Jane Brinling.

After her dingbat daughter failed to show up for a hearing where the Tiger Woods paternity case was thrown out, Brinling had this to say about her daughter:

[Devon James] filed the suit against the golf star “to make money” and “deserves jail time” for allegedly abusing the justice system.

I couldn’t have said it better my self. Thank you, Mama, you’re my hero. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43558

The second FYI Hero award goes to the fans of Insane Clown Posse.

Tila Tequila was performing at the annual festival for Insane Clown Posse fans. It would appear the crowd showed her how much they appreciated her act.

In her words the crowd: “were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the shit out of the port-0-potty and threw shit and piss at me when I was onstage.”

What can I say: Heroes, one and all. Now, go wash your hands, you wild kids. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43544

The If It’s a Pee-Pee, It’s Creepy award goes to The Colonel, Dave “Uncle Festor” Cummings.

Normally I enjoy reading Uncle Festor’s monthly trips into fantasy land. However, even for me his August newsletter was just a little creepy: Uncle Festor went down memory lane describing his various sexcapades with his female cousins. No, it didn’t involve actual sex with his cousins, but it did make mutual-masturbation a family affair.

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43510

The Marc Wallice award goes to German pop star Nadja Benaissa.

This idiot is accused of having unprotected sex on five occasions without letting her partners know she was infected with the HIV virus. One of her partners was subsequently confirmed as being HIV positive. She did not tell any of her partners she was infected, even though she had known since 1999.

Benaissa is facing between six months and ten years in prison.

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43519

Creeps of the Week are the 15 men that were arrested in an undercover sex sting.

These creeps responded to an ad on Craigslist in which police posed online as parents offering sex with their children, ages 8 to 14.

“Each of these 15 men we caught this weekend would have traveled someplace throughout Florida to have sex with someone’s child,” Judd said. “Had this not been one of our events, at least 15 different children would have been victimized this weekend.”

I can only hope these creeps get long prison sentences so that they may enjoy all the benefits that child molesters receive by their fellow inmates.

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43521

The Quote of the Week goes to proud papa, Laurence Fishburne, when discussing with his daughter her career choice: “You used your last name. No one uses their real name in porn.”

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43539

The Nice Try Dipshit award goes to Devon James.

This week a judge appears to have finally laid to rest this Dipshit’s claim that Tiger Woods is her son’s father by denying her request for a DNA test.

This Dipshit felt so strongly about her case that she didn’t even bother to appear in court to hear the final verdict. Also we were told that James does not even have custody of the child — he is currently in the custody of James’ mother.

James’ mother, Sandra Brinling, had described her daughter as a “pathological liar.”

“[My daughter is] only out to lie, steal and cheat,” Brinling told RadarOnline in June.

“All she is looking for is to get money from [Woods].”

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43553

The Dumbass award goes to Jon ‘War Machine’ Koppenhaver.

This dumbass was expected to be formally sentenced in accordance with a plea bargain last Thursday, but Superior Court Judge David Danielsen said he was “inclined not to honor the plea agreement,” given the statements War Machine had made to the Probation Department, his assertion in court Thursday that he had not read the terms of the plea, and a series of Twitter messages posted online before he was booked into jail last month.

The judge went on to say, “I think his words and his actions show a certain disrespect to anybody other than himself,” the judge said, adding that War Machine often chooses to “fight” his way out of tough situations rather than “think” his way out.

“A year in custody will be the least of his consequences,” the judge said, citing the current plea agreement. “You won’t be able to fight your way out of a state prison sentence.”

Nice going, Dumbass.

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43574

The Harriet Beecher Stowe Award goes to the intrepid Gail Danes who never met a porn slur or cliche she didn’t like. Dines in what is a must-read book titled, Pornland, says that women of color are generally relegated to gonzo – a porn genre lacking any plot–which provides little glamour, security or status and that rampant racism in the porn industry is caused because most people working in the production end of the business are white.

Well, Andy, lookie here, lookie here. We be havin’ dem mint juleps on da veranda as soon as dem darkies are finish fuckin’. Yes indeedie.

www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43583

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> “Celebs take a bite out of ‘Piranha 3D’ Hollywood premiere”; LA Times Omits Mention of Riley Steele – Ain’t that a shame. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43632

> Sex Tape will Include the Before and After Heidi – More bullshit hype from Vivid. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43631

> LT Gets a New Judge in His Rape Case; But He Could Still Get The Same Four Years – The felony charges against Taylor include statutory third-degree rape and third-degree criminal sexual act, which involves oral sex, in this case with a minor. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43630

> Foxhole North club owner surprised protests will continue – “I was flabbergasted,” George said. “I thought we had a cool, collected meeting and both sides had laid out what their views were.” Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43629

> ‘Piranha 3D’ Director Alexandre Aja Interviewed – Read it here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43628

> “Adult website operator among Rand Paul donors”; Paul’s Camp Says It Condemns Pornography – The campaign said it “cannot be expected to run background checks on all 25,000 donors…” Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43627

> Angelina Valentine proves that ink is no deterrent to work – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43626

Memo to Angelina’s hype machine: When you mention her website in the release, make sure the website is actually up and running.

> North Pole Releases “Blonde Ambition Edition” for Milestone P.O.V. Release – Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43625

> Update: Spencer Pratt trying to sell sex tape of ex Heidi Montag – “Heidi’s really p—ed off,” the couple’s friend Cougar Zank told RadarOnline.com. “She denies there is a sex tap. She’s furious that Spencer would try and embarrass her like this.” Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43624

Vivid’s bullshit hype machine is really starting to roll now. And who the hell names their kid ‘Cougar.’

> Dawn Schiller’s Oregon book signings for “The Road Through Wonderland: Surviving John Holmes” – Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43623

> The FleshDrive Brings You Movies in the Palm of Your Hand – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43622

> 13 Year-Old Calls Montana Fishburne Her Favorite Celebrity; Wants to Make a Sex Tape – I wish Montana Fishburne would take up the hobby of self-immolation just once. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43621

> Vivid Having a meeting to Possibly Acquire Heidi Montag Sex Tape – “We are in early negotiations to possibly come to terms for a deal.” And the Vivid hype machine begins once again. Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43620

> Official Re-Launch of JaylaStarr.com & Appearance at AdultCon LA – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43619

> Joe Francis: “to associate me with drugs and the filming of underage girls crosses a definite line” – Lighten up, Francis. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43618

> Inferno Features Child Abuse, Beatings and Intense Humiliation All in the First Act – What seems more doubtful is that the role will be good for Lohan’s psyche or career. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43617

> Violet Monroe Is On The Roads To Moscow – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43616

> Lawyer Says His Pimp-Client Wants the Same Sweetheart Deal Billionaire Jeffrey Epstein Got – The prosecutors described Saintil as a “pimp” and alleged that he recruited two runaway girls, 15 and 17, from Tampa for the prostitution network…Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43615

> BatFX Begins; Bluebird’s Dark Knight Parody Renamed – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43614

> Fat Lady is Singing for American Apparel – Maybe it’s better that American Apparel die now and leave a really doable corpse. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43613

> JM Productions Releases Butt Fuck Bukkake – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43612

> AEBN Plans Big Push for Erica McLean’s “Alice” – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43611

> Roger Clemens Could Get 30 Years in Steroid-Denial Case – “Our government cannot function if witnesses are not held accountable for false statements made before Congress.” The Rocket is fucked. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43609

> Pimp Ran prostitution ring that brought girls as young as 14 to Atlantic City; Advertised on Craigslist” – Looks like we have a winner…running a child exploitation enterprise, sex trafficking of children, sexual exploitation of children, distribution and possession of child pornography and two counts of transportation of a minor to engage in prostitution.

Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43608

> LA Times Reviews Piranha 3D; “A bikini-top-optional attitude” – Though there are many laughs, “Piranha 3D” never reaches the smart observational satire…Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43607

> Montana Fishburne Threatens Brian Pumper [Legally]; Claims She Never Signed a Model Release – This looks like the work of Papa Smurf. I guess Brian didn’t take the payout. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43606

> Update: Disgraced Oprah Writer James Frey Working on HBO Series About Porn – It would figure. A liar and a con man would be writing a series about porn. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43605

> Drug Kingpin’s Sex Tape is Selling Like “Hot Bread” – If only it was selling like hot cakes. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43604

> Why Are There So Many Prostie/Porn Ads on Britney Spears’ Facebook Page? – Gee, could it be a PR stunt? Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43601

> Adult Source Media garners 3 GAYVN Award Nominations- Pirate’s Booty shines – I bet it does. Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43599

> Library of Congress to Pay $250,000 In “Tasted Breast Milk” Sex Harassment Suit – Your tax dollars again at work. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43598

> Update: Court Revives Jules Jordan’s DVD Copyright Claims… Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43597

> CKE Announces Launch of BookAdultModels.com – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43594

> Cops pull guns on ‘Piranha 3D’ stars Kelly Brook [She Gets Naked], Jessica Szohr en route to Las Vegas – Well, that’s what happens when you act like an idiot. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43593

> Pizza Hut Employees Fired Over Lewd Pictures – The pictures show a worker licking a whisk, along with X-rated poses with food. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43592

> Looks Like Savanna Samson’s Marriage is Over; Caught Cheating with Snooki’s Boyfriend – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43589

> Will Ryder Begins Shooting “The Flintstones: A XXX Parody” – What John Goodman’s movie didn’t destroy; Will Ryder plans to finish. Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43588

> National A-1 Internet Launches www.Stripclubs.com – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43587

> Hot-to-Trot Teacher’s Aide Arrested for Suspected Sex with Underage Lad – Sasha Grey could play this chick in the movie. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43586

Sean’s Hottie Teacher’s Aide Fuck Scale: 3

> Internet defamation – Uncovering the identity of “John Doe” : The Right of Free Speech Not Absolute – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43585

> Chasey Lain, Cami Parker Lined Up to Be Number One Hookers in Dennis Hof’s New Brothel – If they’re number one, I’d hate to see numbers two, three and four. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43584

> Mark Wahlberg Developing a Show About the LA Porn Business – “We’re going to tell the type of stories no one else has told before, and go places no one has gone before.” Sure, whatever. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43582

> Private’s Internal Tussle Makes NY Post: Berth Milton “Systematically Looted the Coffers”? – “There is a pattern of Milton doing whatever he wants and then getting members of the board . . . to figure out a way to justify it after the fact,” the investor suit alleges. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43581

> Spots on Montana Fishburne’s Ass Covered Up for Soft Porn Shoot – “I’m Not Doing Sh*t To Him, But F**king And Having My Career.” Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43580

> Lawsuit: Sex abuse and Depravity with girls rampant in Volusia Beach Patrol – I fail to see the problem. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43577

> Understanding begins end of rivalry between church, strip club – They all held hands and sang Kumbaya. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43576

> Michael Lohan Threatens To Sue Tiger Woods Mistress Rachel Uchitel – Battle of the douchebags begins. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43575

> Sentencing Date Re-Scheduled for War Machine – The idiot pissed off the judge. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43574

> Teagan Presley Joins Lisa Ann & Jenna Haze in Hosting the Official Exotic Dancer Awards After Party – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43572

> Jackie O’s Half Brother Pleads Guilty in Kiddie Porn Case; Gets 30 Days in Jail – Even from the grave the Kennedy name still carries some weight. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43570

> Private’s Fraserside Holdings Sues Meta Interfaces, LLC for Copyright and Trademark Infringement – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43569

> NYC Porn Arrestees Agree to Gag Order – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43568

> ForbiddenGem.com announces launch of the Internet’s newest teen sensation: LilCandy.com – Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43567

Jesus Christ, she looks like she’s 12.

> Gloria Allred Going After The Guy Who Jacked off in a Water Bottle – Her client was dumb enough to drink the dick snot TWICE! Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43565

> Rick Shameless Presents “PSSSST… Wanna Good Time?” in Hollywood – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43563

> Alabama Sex Crimes Prosecutor Up on Kiddie Porn Charges – The charges stem from the suspect’s alleged communication with what he thought was a 15-year-girl…Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43562

> Spanish Porn Industry in Decline – That darn free porn. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43561

> Joe Francis’ Latest Beef- This Time with the Makers of Piranha 3D – “Any defamatory or disparaging statements… will be met with swift litigation.” Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43560

> Charlie’s Angels XXX Porn Parody Comes Alive with Frampton Era Box Design – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43559

> Called a “Whore”, Columbia biz grad Sues; demands Google, YouTube bare heckler’s ID – Lighten up, Sweetheart. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43557

> 9th Circuit Rules in Favor of Jules Jordan in Copyright Case- Original Trial, Summary & Complete Findings – You’ll need a lawyer to make sense of this, but it appears he won. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43556

> Academics Back Up Debrahlee Lorenzana’s Claim That Her Cans Got Her Canned – “they said their body shapes were different from mine, and I drew too much attention” Don’t flatter yourself, Sweetheart, you’re not that great. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43555

> iP4Play Announces Successful Launch of Adult Service with Brees Kelly Show – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43554

> Devon James’ Tiger Woods paternity case dismissed – What a surprise. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43553

> This Ain’t Cops XXX Parody Available Now – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43552

>French Director Melted Kelly Brook Before Lesbian Love Scenes with Riley Steele – Those damn frogs. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43551

> Woman forced into prostitution in Orlando Met her captor on MySpace – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43550

> Body Count Rises on Murder Mystery Weekend – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43548

> Hallowed Ground’ of the Ground Zero Mosque Lined With Strip Clubs, OTB – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43547

> Naughty America Scores Former Fugitive Farrah’s First XXX Scene in Five Years – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43546

> Elite Male Platinum to release first Simo High Def / Blu Ray in second edition in the ~vs~ Dragon series – Read the details of the sausage-fest here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43545

> One Clown Suing Another: Tila Tequila Makes Legal Rumblings after Weekend’s Bozo Fracas – “I f—ing hate her so much… It’s not the venue’s fault people hate her.” Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43544

> Craigslist Killer wrote fiancée’s name in blood Before Killing Himself – He sure was a romantic little asshole. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43541

> James Cameron Up on Kiddie Porn Charges – If convicted, Cameron could face up to 30 years in prison. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43540

> Montana Fishburne Says Daddy is Done with Her; Daddy: “No One Uses Their Real Name in Porn” – “I’m not going to speak with you ’till you turn your life around.” Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43539

> Conversations with Director Lee Roy Myers – Read his conversation with Gene here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43538

> How adult video girls in Japan cope with the transition back into mainstream life after retiring – Appears to be all smiles and sunshine. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43537

> Sasha Grey Rockets Up AEBN Charts After ‘Entourage’ – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43536

> Farrah – “The Bank Robbing Porn Star” ; Aside from Hooking, Identity Theft, Meth Possession – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43535

> Soap Opera Star Claims L.A. Attorney and Young Woman Tried to Extort Him with Blow Job Accusations – “to blackmail/extort him into a settlement for alleged acts defendants knew were fabricated and untrue.” Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43533

> Adam & Eve’s The A Team XXX Trailer Gets 45,000 Views on YouTube – I’m guessing that equates to about 10 sales. Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43531

> A List Talent And Adult Talent Managers Join Forces – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43530

> Marine Known as Christian Jade in Alleged Gay Porn Investigation – Appears he’s blowing more than his own horn. Semper Fidelis Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43529

> When One Man Isn’t Enough – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43528

> The Nudes A Poppin Festival 2010, Part 2 – Read Gulliver’s Travels here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43527

> Score Group releases All The Way Renee – Love them big titties. Read the hype here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43526

> Adult Quest Also Being Sued by a Photographer Over Nude Photo Copyright – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43523

> Playboy, Adult Quest sued by a Texas patent-owner – In dispute are patents 6,493,677 and 6,845,365, which were issued in December 2002 and January 2005, respectively. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43522

> Craigslist sex-sting suspects had Skittles, condoms for child sex, Polk sheriff says – “I thought everything was cool…I figured if she pushed the daughter thing I would leave.” Tell your story walking, douche bag. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43521

> Facing 10 Years in Jail, HIV-Positive Pop Star Admits to Having Unprotected Sex – One of her partners was subsequently confirmed as being HIV positive. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43519

> Private Media Group Launches Harmony Films’ New Online Business with Pay-Site Platform – Read the hype: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43517

> NYSE Bond Trader in $20M Dirty Dance Lawsuit – A spokesman for the firm said in a statement, “We do not take Ms. Franqui’s allegations at all lightly,” but took issue with her $20 million claim. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43515

> Wrestler: Watermelon fermenting in Urine and Feces Tossed at Tila Tequila During Concert – Tila Tequila literally had to stand behind a wall of security guards while on stage — and not even flashing her breasts could stop the onslaught. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43514

> “Porn is a path to infamy, not fame”; “Intimacy is Becoming Robotic” – Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43513

> Beate Uhse erotica Hurt by free online porn – Heard this story before. Read it here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43512

> Accused Craigslist Killer Commits Suicide – “I’m shocked and saddened by the news,” said John Salsberg, Markoff’s attorney. I couldn’t be happier myself. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43511

> Dave Cummings: From the Trenches, August, 2010 Edition – Making jacking off with his cousins a family affair. Read the story here: www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=43510

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