Porn Valley- During the course of our conversation the other day when he was talking about his uncle Hans the Hatchet, Skeeter Kerkove mentions that he must be the only person in porn who hasn’t attended Porn Star Karaoke.

“But you’re the only person that will get me on KSEX,” he states. And, boy, Skeeter’s got some stories since the last time he was on there which was years ago.

“And I got some good stuff going on in Arizona,” he tells me. “I’ve got some major plans- I’m going to take down some motherfuckin’ people in the pool and spa business. I’m going to destroy these cocksuckers. I’m just going to eat up this part of Arizona in the pool & spa business.”

[Glad to see Skeeter’s expanding his scope of antagonism beyond the mere adult industry.]

Skeeter notes that 276 movies got released last week in porn, with over 200 of them being anal movies.

“What’s going on here?” he asks. “If you’re not laundering money like some of these porn companies, it’s tough.”

Other than that, Skeeter says he’s very mad at Kevin Rubio, [pictured] the Count of Monte Ducati. I ask him what for now.

“Because he’s claiming a $9700 loss on a $10,000 movie,” answers Skeeter.

[Skeeter and Ducati have been involved in a legal dispute since last November, Ducati claiming to have lost money on movies Skeeter directed for him.]

“Do you think it’s possible to lose $9700 on a movie?” Skeeter asks. “You can’t when you shoot an all-anal movie with six girls for $10,000. It was impossible two years ago. Distributed through Peter North? Impossible. So I’m mad.”

“Let me show you what you can make on ten grand,” Skeeter continues. “I’ll loan you the money to invest in me. Let me show what you can make if you invest. I won’t even make a single phone call to give me an edge. I will tell you who to call. I will tell you what websites, where to go in Europe, what to do with this, that and the other. And let’s see what happens with the $10,000 I loan you.

“I know it will take awhile. It ain’t easy any more, But you tell me what that $10,000 turns into in seven months. It’s not a whole lot of effort. It’s not that big of a deal. It does take time. It ain’t for free but it’s not bad. I just say, hey Gene, when you get the paycheck from each place, bring me back 80% of what you owe me from each check. I think you’ll be impressed. Just like Kevin Ducati was.”

“He doesn’t know what I know- it’s unbelievable that he’s telling these stories when in the past two weeks, by accident, not on purpose, I’m finding all the places on the Internet, worldwide, where he made money from my movies on VOD and DVD. The stuff sold on the web. The neat thing is the IP addresses are locked. The website is locked. The dates and the times are locked.”

“But what’s interesting is that this fucker, all around the world, doesn’t sell it as a discount when the biggest successful movies of my career are sold for less than he sells mine for. Still he is claiming a $9700 loss. Unbelievable.”

“And then we got this from North Star Associates. There’s an ex employee who turned over paperwork that shows how many units total Welcome to the Bunghole did. This was seven months ago. And we have the receipt of what Kevin Ducati got for European which is over a $7,000 check written to him – that’s after all the kickbacks and percentages; everything.

“He technically, legally went in the black on paper the first three weeks of the release,” Skeeter contends. “Kevin Ducati actually did good because of me. Did he profit as much as some of his other movies? In my opinion, and my opinion only, I’d say no. Well, why? Because Skeeter Kerkove says proudly and loudly Kevin Ducati knowingly sold and distributed through North Star Associates, movies released to distributors and wholesalers as a brand new movie, yet every scene would be a comp.”

“Those people should have bought them for a dollar each. And the entire movie Welcome to the Bunghole 3 produced and directed by Kevin Ducati is a comp but sold as brand new from day one. Every scene in that movie was previously released in a Ducati production through North Star.

“A one-stop placed orders on this as an experiment. When they ordered it, they were not told it as a comp. It was even asked has any of this been in another movie and they were told no. Was North Star Associates telling the truth? Yes. Peter North is a good, saucy, sassy man. He’s tart and he’s sexy. But in my opinion. Mr. Kevin Rubio Ducati is not. And I believe that Kevin Rubio turned in Welcome to the Bung Hole 3 as a new movie when all the scenes were in other Ducati Production movies.

“To this very day it’s being sold on the Internet not as a comp. Welcome to the Bunghole was exclusive and so was #2 when it was sold for its first half year. Welcome to the Bunghole 3 has four scenes, not five; and every scene on there has been previously released in a Kevin Ducati Production.

“That made North Star Associates innocently involved in selling a comp as a new release.”