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Squirters Full of It Says Skeeter- 12/30/2004

Porn Valley- Trust Skeeter Kerkove, to start some shit. I’m on the set of Stick It 3 which Skeeter was shooting for Metro, and Skeeter decided to stick it to the “squirters” of the business. I’m not exactly sure how the conversation got started. I think it was Jim Powers, who was doing camera, mentioning a 29 girl bukkake that he had shot recently. As I understood the conversation, Powers and Kerkove don’t exactly embrace the myth of squirting.

Powers, noting that squirters are now coming out of the woodwork, is saying he’s got some pretty scrutinized up close footage of girls “squirting” out of their pee holes. Both men conclude that it’s piss. Plain and simple. “It’s all lame,” says Skeeter of the squirting claims. “Let’s see you squirt without carrying a one gallon jug of water.”

Skeeter, who apparently was an L.A. County Health inspector at one time and checked for things like piss in pool water, gets into this whole complex thing about weight ratios and a gallon of water weighing 8.33 pounds and that the world at large is being asked to buy the fact that a squirter on any given occasion is secreting at least two pounds of whatever. Skeeter holds up a large coffee measuring spoon and states that Peter North on his best day would have a tough time filling it. Skeeter is saying that it’s all smoke, mirrors and bullpiss.

“You never see a squirter without her water bottle,” states Skeeter, categorically, remembering a scene that Bridgette Kerkove did with Alicia Klass called Thighs Wide Open and how Klass, who was then the premier squirter in the business, had literally soaked the bed with urine. According to what Skeeter’s saying, Klass took breaks every five minutes to hasten to the bathroom and Bridgette could see, via a reflection from the bathroom mirror, that Klass was downing gallons of water and was, in effect, pissing it out on the bed. The room stunk to high heaven.

I mention to Skeeter that Cytherea’s man, Brian, is offering a $5,000 challenge to prove exactly what he’s saying. Skeeter’s saying he’ll take that bet and put up $10,000 against that $5,000 to prove that it is piss with one easy test- if Cytherea would take a urinary tract infection pill along with a can of Red Bull, nothing else, and see what comes out in the tide during her next squirt. Skeeter predicts it would be the hue that some of those bad tanning creams lend your face. But the tell-all, according to Skeeter is the fact that it would contain ammonia.

“It’s piss; it smells,” he concludes. “Anything over an ounce is humanly impossible.” Evidently practicing gynecologists, Powers and Skeeter conclude that there is nowhere on the human body for a woman to produce actual cum.


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