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The Cindy Crawford M.I.A. Mystery Solved–sort of

(SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA) — If you have been keeping score in the whereabouts of one, Cindy Crawford, like most of us, you would be quite confused by her erratic behavior as of late. It seems Miss. Crawford, who has been working in many films, as well as brand new Wanker Show CoHo on KSEXradio, has been missing appointments, not calling to confirm, cancel or to apologize after not showing up for commitments.

“I’ll tell you, it really stinks,” stated KSEX Program Director, Wankus, “she had the juice…the chops…all the tools to make a fantastic on-air personality.”

In the five weeks [5 shows] of Crawford’s KSEX experience, she showed up for one complete show, two of the broadcasts late and two absolute no shows.

Wankus claimed he called Crawford before her first ‘no show’ and asked if she was coming in that evening. “I’m coming…I’ll be there, she told me,” Wankus explained. Unfortunately, she wasn’t there. When called later she told him she was stuck on set shooting.

“I’ve been on a lot of sets lately,” Wankus chimed in, “there’s always someone that can grab your cell phone and make a call for you. And you would think, once you were off set, even at 3am, you’d be calling me apologizing. Nothing. I had to track her down the next afternoon.”

The following week, after promises of a timely arrival, Crawford was a no-show again, no phone call, nothing.

“I received an e-mail,” Wankus continued, “following my show from an address I had never seen before. In all lower case letters, someone wrote ‘sorry your show is more important then a death in the family…take me off the pay roll…cindy crawford.’ I actually didn’t think it was her so I wrote back ‘HUH?’ Then never heard a peep until recently.”

After seeing her, seemingly angry at him on a Filthy Frank set the other day, Wankus made a last attempt to call her after the shoot, to try to patch things up or at least bring the relationship to a confirmed close on a friendly basis.

“She looked mad at me at the shoot,” Wankus said, “and for what? I didn’t do anything wrong. All she had to do was call me and that seemed to hard for her. She got kicked off of Filthy Frank’s set because she never called to confirm the shoot and they replaced her. It’s like the IRS. It doesn’t make a difference how much you owe them, if you call them, they will be patient with you. I just don’t get it.”

“She loved the show,” Wankus continued, “we had fun, there was nothing negative between us and I would hear about her bragging about KSEX on sets as she did shoots. For some reason, she probably considered it something like going dancing…a good time, but can do it when she wants.”

It doesn’t work that way obviously, and Wankus has already expressed interest in a new CoHo for Crawford’s replacement. “I like Rebecca Love,” he said, “she wants to work here and I think she’ll fit in fine. We’ll talk more and see what happens.”

Top Pro Talent received an e-mail today from reader, Chimpy the Chatter who apparently got farther then Wankus did in attempts to contact Crawford.

Chimpy writes Crawford:
—– Original Message —–

From: Chimpy
To: [email protected]
Subject: ksex anymore?

i loved listening to you on the wanker show. are you still there? are you coming back soon. I miss you.


Crawford writes back to Chimpy:

—– Original Message —–
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: ksex anymore?

no, my aunt just died and I need some time to myself. thanks for asking-cindy crawford
After we forwarded the emails along to Wankus he said, “Ya know what? That sucks. I’m sorry that she had a death in the family…but once again, someone could have called. There is no excuse to leave employers, fans, crew, anyone hanging, for any reason.”

The Wanker Show has seen it’s share of CoHos, and a few Missing In Action ones like Heather Lyn and Star E. Knight, but has also seen many loyal and responsible ones. “Samantha Sterlyng, Alana Evans, Katie Morgan, Daisy, Michele Raven,” Wankus continued, “these are girls I know will be there when they say they will.”

He finished by saying, “I guess it’s just one of those things that all companies in porn constantly battle–flakey adult stars from time to time. I don’t hold a grudge. If Cindy called me today and promised to get her shit together, she still has a job at KSEX.”


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