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TomCruiseisnuts.com

WWW- My only question is: What took them so long?

Two self-described computer geeks with a waggish sense of humor – D.J. LaChapelle of Alexandria, Va., and Jim Jonas of Denver – have just put up a new Internet site, www.TomCruiseIsNuts.com.

The satirical site features choice quotes from the 42-year-old Cruise concerning Scientology, women in general and Katie Holmes in particular:

# “Some people, well, if they don’t like Scientology, well, then, f- you. Really. F- you. Period.”

# “Women smell good. They look pretty. I love women. I do.”

# “I will forever with this woman [Holmes] be jumping on couches, dancing on tables and hanging from chandeliers.”

The site also offers TomCruiseIsNuts coffee mugs, baseball caps and T-shirts for sale – a bit of otherwise admirable capitalism that might get the creators in trouble with Cruise’s scary Hollywood lawyer, Bert Fields.

“Using Tom’s name and likeness to make money? That’s not going to be happen,” Fields told me.

Fields sounded like he was only getting warmed up – never mind the disclaimer from the Web site: “We would never slander, ridicule or otherwise attempt to humiliate one of the world’s most celebrated, well-compensated (and well-represented) practitioners of the science and artistry of acting. We luv ya, Tom.”

LaChapelle told me: “What really inspired us was Tom’s appearance on the ‘Today’ show. His body language, the way he got in Matt Lauer’s face – it was all pretty amazing. Watching one of America’s best actors coming unglued – like the rivets popping off the wing of an airliner – there’s a kind of fascination.”

As long as you’re not a passenger.

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