Porn News

What’s with the October 2 Ads?

> Fayner Posts on Okay, so what’s the deal with this October 2nd backdrop all the news sites are using promoting an alternative to AVN from Xbiz? Does anybody care? Are the staffers at AVN packing up their belongings and looking for work elsewhere? Will life as we know it be a thing of the past with the grand unveiling on October 2nd?

The answer to all of these questions should be no. People may care, but I doubt it. I know that I don’t. It has nothing to do with what I do here. Our traffic and fan base will stay the same whether there is one AVN or two or three or sixty.

I wish whoever this is the most luck I can muster at this point. It’ll be tough reporting on boring stuff like AVN writes about most of the time with no pulse at all put into the keystrokes.

Now I can’t wait to see what’s gonna happen on October 2nd. Will I shit my pants from jealousy? Will babies find the cure for cancer? Will crabcakes all of a sudden taste like marshmallows?

Wait and see.

> Willie D posts on‘s been a while since anyone vented their spleen (or other organ if you’re Chris Sims), and quite frankly the porn business has been depressingly boring. But leave it to the fringes of society to always produce shit worthy of scorn and contempt.

Tawny Roberts (Mary Carey honorable mention). This crackwhore still has a Vivid contract? Mary Carey almost made this list, but I will forbear since she may actually be clean since her Mom took a swan dive. I am beginning to suspect Tawny is the shitty element in this pair. Mary has a little bank and needs friends; Tawny has no bank, needs drugs but not friends. Or put it like one of those SAT analogies… Mary Carey:Tawny Roberts::Sandra Bernhard:Madonna. And who in the hell can rationalize drinking beer like a fish while pregnant? Because we all know the active ingredients in gin (C2-H6-O) is much worse than the active ingredients in beer and wine (alcohol).

Porn plastic surgery. A secret memo is being passed among the whores which apparently lists the appropriate plastic surgery for their industry. It includes -tit jobs which stretch your skin to the breaking point. If your tits are bigger than your cranium, you have no future. Well, not true, they might get you $.50 more per hour in your hostess job at sizzler.

-chin chiseling

-Mr. Spock eyebrows

-Oscar Meyer® brand upper lip implants. The most unnatural look out there. And a dead giveaway.

-ass implants. Folks, you either have an ass, or you set aside some of your Xanax money each month and buy a health club membership, and hit the ass machine. If you have to wait in line, do it, you don’t get up until 11:00 anyway. Back in the day, the HotBox was actually a decent website. Good looking whores, a little raunchy. Apparently a decent place to make pseudo smut. Then came all the content “protected” by DRM (code talk for greed), then she sells out, then we come to find out that half the time, it wasn’t a female run business as presented. Making a whore the titular head of a porn producer seems to be a losing proposition, Jill Kelly, Suicidal Girls.

Blaise Christie. Even that name nauseates me. In an alt.sea of shitty, he is emerging as the alt.whipping-boy to replace Eor McGai. That’s quite an accomplishment. I wonder if Steve Hirsch knows that his “” target market are the ones downloading Kazaa, BearShare and LimeWire, and stealing the rest of his catalog.

Bono-one winning a porn contest. Either it was a fix was on or he was the only one who entered. I know she used to be a prostitute, but did “Bono the Po8” think he was finally going to get laid?

> RayVeness posts on ADT: RayVeness here…just want everyone to know my latest mainstream movie, it’s called “Bottoms Up” starring Paris Hilton. Yes I am naked in this flick. It went straight to DVD but we knew that when we were shooting it! You can see purchase your copy at I hope you enjoy oh and I do have speaking lines!

>RobbieNomi writes on ADT: On AdultFYI, there was a small blurb that stated McKenzie Lee was 5 months pregnant. It never listed its source though. On her husband’s MySapce page, it only says “We’re having a baby!”, but nothing else. Does anyone else have ANY info on this?


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