Porn Valley- This is the picture. Tiffany Mynx is wearing a short black dress and sunglasses. She’s looking like one of the high heel dancing babes in that Robert Palmer Addicted to Love video, except with a better ass. Mynx is going to be working with Tony T, T, rubbing his balls, keeping hard, wearing his hat sideways, looking like Rudy Kazootie, a cartoon character from the Fifties.

Tony T, perched like he’s sitting in a baseball dugout, is saying to Tom Zupko, “Yo, Zupko you’re killing me.” T’s claiming he has to be somewhere at 8 o’clock and Zupko is slobbering over Mynx and her Jiffy Lube oiled ass. The boxcover shoot, which is for Hustler, is on Zupko time which basically means don’t plan anything for the next day or two. In all fairness, though, Mynx had been running late from an earlier make up scene with another company, pushing Zupko’s scene at Xotic Studios back into the deepening shadows of a Spring afternoon.

I hear Mynx saying she was supposed to shoot this other scene the day before, but had been in a NyQuil haze and never made it.

Meanwhile, Tony T’s in no haze. He’s getting itchy like bed bugs in a Holiday Inn. Tony T wants to fuck Mynx in the ass real bad, T being one of these guys who jumps out of the chute with an aggressive, take no prisoners cock. Zupko’s now busting T’s balls, telling him if you gotta go, dude, Brian Surewood will jump into it. But T don’t want this happening because he wants to be the one fucking Mynx in the ass. But Zupko is the kind of director that has to get his shot even if it means taking 10,000 of ’em. And this is only for the boxcover. Meanwhile, Mynx is doing this series of peek-a-boo poses. She looks like a Playboy magazine cover.

Zupko’s explaining that he has to go to this length, that this is a really big deal. Even to the extent that after Tony T’s through fucking Mynx in the ass, Mynx is going to take a shower in the scene. Zupko’s got this new thing about girls being in bath tubs and girls taking showers. Zupko’s becoming a regular Brian DePalma. However, Mynx is going to take a shower Zupko style, Zupko smacking his lips like he’s diving into an Alaskan King Crab at Sid’s Seafood restaurant. Zupko’s telling me the Alaskan King Crab at Sid’s is better than pussy which is hard to imagine. It might smell like pussy but better than pussy?

Zupko, rigging this spotlight and camper shower over Mynx, has the water cascading through the spotlight, Zupko truly falling in love with his shots. Mynx looks like she’s in the middle of a rain forest, and Zupko’s also falling in love with the spotlight effect. But not like he falls in love with Sid’s Alaskan King Crabs.

Zupko was basically working with Mynx sight unseen, and before she gets to the studio, Zupko’s speculating as to what Mynx looks like these days. I’m telling Zupko my Kascha story about how Kacha came out of retirement along with 50 extra pounds on her face to shoot two movies for Cinderella. Zupko’s getting pale, but this could be carryover from a flu bag that he’s been battling. “Don’t jinx the Mynx, “Zupko’s saying, wanting to do a great job for Hustler who seems to be treating him with a measure of respect.

“I’m not used to being treated with kindness,” Zupko giggles. Zupko never chuckles or guffaws. Rather, those sounds heard are high-pitched troll snorts. Zupko, a hoot to be around, tells me about his old man and how his old man used to call him Zupko, telling him he could be replaced by a wheel barrow. Then, again, his old man could have been Rob Black.

I’m also hearing stories about Kelly O’Dell. O’Dell and Mynx used to be pretty good buddies but word is O’Dell’s going off the deep end. O’Dell, who tried committing suicide a couple of weeks ago, supposedly hangs out with this Turkish guy who swallows 8-balls. I understand that’s a little stronger than NyQuil.