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Asia Carrera: Life becoming a Nightmare

Asia Carrera posts on her site: I have gone from the world’s best mom to the world’s worst mom in no time flat. I tried to run errands with Catty for the first time today, and I just wanted to beat my head into the steering wheel and cry after every stop. Don and I were extremely co-dependant. We did everything, EVERYTHING together. Don worked from home, so he was always here to help with Catty, and we’d run errands together every day, sometimes twice a day or more. I have never, EVER gone to the store with Catty all by myself. In fact, I haven’t even driven in over a year, maybe two. Don always drove us everywhere.

When we drove, I’d entertain Catty. When we were at the store, Don would push the cart and get groceries, and I would entertain Catty. If we went to the post office, Don would stand in line and I would entertain Catty. Bottom line, parenting was easy because there were always two of us, one to handle whatever, and the other to watch or carry Catty. Now it’s just me, and Catty is not a happy camper. She screamed in the back of the car the whole time I was driving today, and I’m rusty enough at driving without trying to entertain a bored and miserable baby at the same time. I stood in line at the post office and she alternated between running rampant and screaming to be picked up – I can’t hold her the whole time, I’m 8 months pregnant.

I tried to talk business with Don’s accountant, and Catty tore up his office because she was bored and wanted to explore. I’m losing my mind, it’s like I have to learn how to be parent from scratch, with this curious little girl who used to be encouraged to check everything out, and now she’s getting shouted at for it. Poor Catty cried so much today, and it’s all my fault. She doesn’t understand why mommy can’t entertain her like she used to, and why mommy is being so short-tempered with her… my heart is breaking for Catty, but I’m just trying to get through my day without falling apart in front of people. This is so hard, I’ve never done anything without Don, and now I have to learn to do EVERYTHING without him… I can’t even handle one kid without messing everything up, let alone two! My life has become such a nightmare, I just want to go to sleep and not wake up… no, not literally, I wouldn’t do that, but you know what I mean… I need my Donny back, I NEED HIM I NEED HIM PLEASE!!! :*(

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